My future? Is this normal?

Question

OK, I’m 15 years old and when I grow up I want to be a stay at home mom with a large family. I want to have 5-8 kids and also adopt 5-8 kids, so yeah, we’re talking a really large family. I want to live out in the country somewhere not the city, preferably Tennessee. This is what I’ve wanted to do since I was really little. I have no other career choice in mind, nothing appeals to me. All of my friends want mini coopers, I want a mini van. I love to do chores and clean the house, and also love babysitting for other people. Also, I like putting together baby names and have all my future kids names picked out. Is this normal? It’s not like I’m 20 or anything, only 15. and is there really a guy out there who would want to have as many kids as i do? Please offer any advice that you can. And please no stupid remarks. Thanks!!!

Answer 1

The decision to have 10 - 16 kids is not one that even a 20 yr old is qualified to make. Since you like to clean the house I think you should think about what it will take to clean after that many people. You will need to wash and dry 1 load of towels per day, and 1 - 2 loads of clothes per day if you have a super capacity washer and dryer.

Also, you will need to cook a whole lot of food. Next time you cook, try making the recipe big enough to feed that many people and see how you like it.

You say you want a minivan but that won't be big enough. You will need to learn to drive a bus that is the same size as a school bus or city transport bus.

Also it is going to take a lot of money to feed these kids. You are going to need to find a man who has some serious money. Consider the size of house and all the beds you will need, as well as the wear on your house due to all the traffic. Also, how will you save for each of these children to go to college?

There are a lot of practical issues to consider. If you find that you can work through all of them then go for it.

Answer 2

It seems perfectly normal to me! You obviously love children and taking care of those you love and it seems that your dream job is to be a mom rather than a heart surgeon or a lawyer or whatever and that is a perfectly valid and respectable thing! I think the problem here is that today's society puts a lot of pressure on women (and I suppose, men too) to have a "career", to "be something." Being a mom is a career. It's one of the toughest careers there is and it is a 24/7 job that requires a lot of strength and a lot of passion. It is simply that these days, it seems that being a stay at home mom is only a valid and respected option if you need to save money on daycare. It's really awful, actually. The women's movement has done a great deal for us, but with all things, there is always a small amount of detriment, and I think stay at home moms have been kind of left out in the cold. We seem to finally be getting over the "super mom" expectations (i.e. full time career and amazing always-there mom), but it is a slow process.

Yes, I do think there are plenty of men out there that want a huge family. It just may take a while to find the right one. In the meantime, while you are looking, why not start your own babysitting business or work for a daycare center? That way you can pursue your passion and take your time finding the person that is right for you and wants the same things as you. It will also give you a chance to really think about whether or not you can handle such a big committment. Having that large of a family is a lot of hard work, so make sure you choose your goal - and partner - wisely.

Answer 3

Okay, I have 4 kids, and I love them all. But it is VERY difficult, money is tight, even though mu hubby and I make close to 70,000 a year. I used to love housework too, now it is just plain hard, and not much fun. I wanted the same thing you did when I was your age, and I went for it.

Guess what, if my hubby dies, I cant support my children, and would need state help. I am trying to better that for me, attending college, but that is difficult. Plus I dont have the time Id like to devote to each child on their own, my middle son often feels left out.

I am the best mom I can be. Yes, there is someone out there for everyone, and Im sure you will meet the man of our dreams, I just wanted to share some real life advice with you. Love your youth.

Answer 4

it just is natural in some people, some women are this way from day one of being born... it all just depends on the person, i had two little ones at 22 and my husband has a good job and works and i stay home, i love the opportunity but do plan on a career someday. But im in no hurry, everyone is different.. its good your like that... now a days kids need to get back to a more moral society ♥

Answer 5

Hey - who is to say what is or isn't normal? If you want to raise children and keep a loving home, that's your choice. It aint my cup of tea, that's for sure, but this is YOUR life. Why would it matter what someone else thinks? The main question is - how are you going to be able to afford the things you want? You're talking upwards of 16 children... how will you pay for food and clothing for all these kids?

Also, since you are only 15 years old, you have yet to experience much of life beyond grade school. Try college and/or a job for a while. Who knows what new paths might open for you?

Answer 6

It's a nice thought, be aware that what you want now may not be what you want later. As you grow, you'll find that economics but money and time will exert a large influence on the number of kids you have (as well as other factors). But the best advice I can give is to stay in school and learn all you can, that way at least you can help your future kids with their homework and to achieve their dreams.

Answer 7

Honestly in todays society in the US 90% of the time you cant support a large or sometimes even a small family on a single income. Try to imagine the doctor bills with no insurance on that many kids.

Is it normal to want to be a stay at home mother raising a large family? No but its not unusual either.

Answer 8

There is absolutely nothing wrong with your dream. Having a happy, successful marriage, and a loving family is worth shooting for. My only recommendation is that you grow up first. Finish high school, and go to college, so that you always have something to fall back on ( and also in case you have to help your spouse pay for a mini-van.)

You can even study home economics in college and kill two birds with one stone.

Answer 9

If this is what God is calling you to do then there is nothing abnormal about it. I think it is wonderful that you feel you can do this. Raising children is very challenging, but also very rewarding. I thought I wanted a lot of kids, but after my third I changed my mind. It just wasn't what God wanted for me. As far as finding a guy who wants that many kids...if this is really what God wants for you then He will provide you with a partner who will share your enthusiasm about children. Just pray that God leads you in the right direction. I hope all the best for you.

God bless,
Stanbo

P.S. You better find a man with a lot of money. lol

Answer 10

if that is what you want. I will have to tell you it will be hard becasue of the economy most men want you to have a job and take care of them and the kids. there is only one way this can be possible for you (and I'm serious) you have to be drop dead pretty and meet a rich man, or go out with a cop, they do make money and you could stay at home.