My boyfriend and I have been living together for about 6 months. I'm very frustrated because, as much as I love him, he has a much higher tolerance for filth and mess than I do. At times I feel like I have a teenage boy living with me! (I'm 32, he's 35.) I feel like so much of the house work falls to me - laundry, cooking, bathroom cleaning, meal planning...we both work full time, and I have a 5 year old son who lives with us. I have asked him to help me more, told him I'm tired of being "the laundry *****." I've gotten really mad and yelled at him a couple times. And it's better for a few days, and then back to where we started. I'm frustrated. Please help!
2006-12-11 05:05:22 · 7 answers · asked by Holly K 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You just have to keep talking to him about it and make it very well known how you feel. Let him know that he is disrespecting you by being messy and making your living environment uncomfortable for you! DON'T DO HIS LAUNDRY! He knows how...just do yours! If he keeps leaving all his crap lying around, just take all of it...no matter what it is...and put it in a pile in the garage!!!! He has to pull his weight around the house. It isn't fair for you to have to do everything. Maybe try making up a chore chart with his responsibilities for the week on it. And change it every week so he isn't always doing the same thing. Then maybe offer up a reward if he does his part...like a massage, or dinner...anything that he likes to get him to help out!!
2006-12-11 05:10:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi there im wondering if yoits youre house together or if he moved into youres or the other way round ......which ever way it is get him to sit down .....and by the sounds of it that bit wont be easy ,and tell him straight ,without losing youre temper ,as he is used to ignoring that tone of voice so you do this with style .......what you have to decide first is can you live without this mess ,can you live without him .....bit more tricky but stick with me on this.....you are both working full time jobs so at night from now on you will be helping with what ever needs to be done and thats how its going to be ......if not start to learn what its like to sleep on the couch .....this might well get his attention ,and carry this out and mean it .....think about it if you have to work full time and then run a home then way the hell should he get to sleep in youre bed ?? or do the other thing and move out or kick him out and send him back to his mothers and let her look after him ......and find youre self man that believes in a relationship of being 50/50,and not 80%in his favour and yours being 20% good luck and take care xx
2006-12-11 13:42:21 · answer #2 · answered by a parent hows been there !! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good luck. Unfortunately male children are often raised to think they are the prince of the kingdom and should not have to be bothered with such mundane tasks as laundry, cooking, et cetera. I find holding a baseball bat in my right hand when having this discussion, helps me to get my point across.
2006-12-11 13:11:14 · answer #3 · answered by Roberta 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are having this problem because he was never taught to look after himself. I would recommend that you give him a list of things that have to be done and a time line to do them in, then he still has a choice as to do them or live with the consequences, what ever they might be, I do not know how far you are willing to carry through on this so you will have to set them. WARNING do not do this if you are not willing to back up your needs as it will show a weakness that will forever be in your life with him
2006-12-11 13:25:25 · answer #4 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be more specific with him. Instead of saying help around the house, name a chore for him. Say, "It would really be helpful if you made the beds every morning. Just pick one thing until it becomes a habit, then you can add another.
My hubby has discovered he loves to do the grocery shopping, even.
2006-12-11 13:19:28 · answer #5 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its a lost cause..;forget it....there is no way he will ever help....its called a Freaking slob....nothing you do will change him.....and when you get married..you can leave all the dishes in the sink and even grow maggots...that wont work either....laundry can grow into mountains and trash....forget it man...its a ....oh good grief..
2006-12-11 13:16:55 · answer #6 · answered by hatchetmistress 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that his lack of consideration and participation is unacceptable in a long term relationship. If he doesn't clean up his act, end the relationship!
2006-12-11 13:12:04 · answer #7 · answered by AnnieD 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋