Natural Selection; A question for women...?

Question

I'm 23 years old and, despite my best attempts, have not been able to find a girl willing to go out with me in over eighteen months. Furthermore, prior to this, only one girl has ever found me to be worthy of becoming more then just good friends.

Having read many books on the topic, and attempted to do everything possible to get a girl to like me, I'm starting to suspect that the source of my failing lies elsewhere. While it doesn't bother me, I was born with a condition called "Cauliflower Ear" where the ear, in my case my right ear, forms as a shriveled nub. In order to allow me to hear, this nub had to be amputated, leaving me with a small hold and no ear [prosthetics aren't covered under insurance].

I'm starting to suspect that evolution has trained women to identify individuals with obvious genetic defects, such as myself, and to ignore us.

While such a trait would ensure the health of humanity, it ensures that people like myself remain alone.

Is this true???

Answer 1

Women like you to be yourself. Quit reading books on how to obtain a woman. If you go by them books then you're not really being you. You need to develope some self confidence. It is hard but trust me, that is the sexiest thing about a man. Don't become conceited, just begin to realize you are good looking no matter what and women will think the same way. Just be patient and wait for that right woman to come along. I believe everyone has a soul mate, you just haven't found the right woman yet. If women are going to be so superficial to not look past the fact that you are missing an ear and not to want to get to know the real you, then those women are not right for you.

Answer 2

Hello. You're only 23. Young people tend to be more superficial. Looks matter to a lot of them right now. Trust that things will get better. In the meantime, keep grooming your confidence.

Listen, there seem to be a lot of single guys out there right now as compared to women, at least amongst the people I know. So just relax. Let it go. It's not your ears fault. Keep doing the things you enjoy. Explore other hobbies.

Maybe join or frequent some healthy groups so you can meet more people, such an astronomy club, the opera house, a museum. Church?
Or volunteer. Where? Music festivals, radio stations, the blood donor clinic. Or places where you can read to other people.

Get out into the world. Be seen and heard. Be active. Just be!! And show off that smile!! And any other attributes you may have.

Advice from a happily married 38 year old Canadian Girl.

Answer 3

Maybe you should stop reading books that tell you how you should be and just start being yourself.I don't think it has anything to do with you ear.Maybe you are selfconsious about it and that is why you think it is your ear.Some people just have a hard time with relationships.I know a man in early 50's whom is extremely hot,intelligent,makes good money,owns his own home and has new car.Everything that you would think he could ever need to attract the opposite sex. But sadly he has this problem with woman only wanting to be friends or only wanting a passing fling not a real relationship.So you see it isn't just you and you shouldn't let these girls make you feel bad about yourself.I promise someone who is right for you is out there you just have to be patient.Good Luck

Answer 4

I don't think so. What I do think is that you are trying to hard. Forget about everything you read and be yourself. When the right woman comes along you will be forever in love, until then, enjoy your life. Go places, see things, do things. When you do find 'Ms. Right' you will be glad for all the experiences you have had and maybe you can show her some of the things you have seen. Life is too short to be stuck thinking about only one thing. Take a break and enjoy "YOU" maybe you'll learn things about yourself that will help you in a relationship. The lack of 'yourself' has something to do with what you can give in a relationship. Don't worry... the right one will come along.

Answer 5

NO, DON'T GO THAT DEEP IN THE TOPIC. THE MORE YOU READ ABOUT IT, THE MORE AWFUL THINGS WILL LOOK! WHY DON'T YOU JUST RELAX AND LET THINGS GO? WHEN THE RIGHT WOMAN APPEARS, SHE WON'T CONCIDER YOUR MISSING EAR AS A PROBLEM. AS A MATTER OF FACT, I DON'T SEE HOW A SMALL THING LIKE THAT AFFECTS YOUR WHOLE LOVE LIFE! ARE ALL THE YOUNG WOMEN SO SHALLOW? NOBODY'S PERFECT- YOU PROBABLY KNOW THAT! AND I DON'T THINK THAT ALL THE WOMEN THAT REJECTED YOU ARE BETTER THAN YOU. THEY DON'T DESERVE YOUR REGRETS OR ATTENTION ANYMORE. BE NICE AND REMEMBER THAT YOU ARE WORTH A REAL LOVE BY A REAL INTELLIGENT WOMAN THAT WILL VALUE ALL YOUR QUALITIES, THAT WILL LOVE YOU FOR ALL THAT YOU ARE, FOR ALL THAT YOUR HAVE AND EVEN YOUR MISSING EAR.

Answer 6

maybe, however just grow your hair to cover your ears!
It may be true, when you are first meeting people, however, I truly believe that once someone is interested, and maybe starts to like you for other reasons, it won't matter to her one bit.

If it bothers you that much, save up the money and buy the prosthetic. It will be worth it if it will make you feel better about yourself, I mean how many women out there are getting breast implants!

You will find someone.

Answer 7

You could try to grow your hair over your ear or wear a hat. There are many things you can do to cover the ear so that girls can get to know you first before you show them your ear. All girls are not shallow, but you do need to show them that you are worthy of there affection.

Answer 8

no it's not true there are many people out there who have certain conditions that make them feel the way you do. Give it time your still young and there are PLENTY of women in this world to choose from. some just have a hard time realizing it's not looks that matter, it's your personality that makes up who you really are.

Answer 9

I doubt it, but maybe. Maybe you are trying too hard. What about your personality? Have you tried being yourself? What makes you happy? Do you really NEED to be with a woman to enjoy yourself? Another person cannot define your self-worth. You have be happy and comfortable with yourself. If you stop trying so hard, someone will definitely come your way.

Answer 10

You seem like a thoughtful and intelligent person. Keep on reading up....and you'll be quite a prize in a few years. It could be that you are more mature than most girls your age now. Things will change in time. Be patient!