My father has not spoken to me in about 5 years. Reason being I left home to go off to school. He was very upset with the fact that I went against his wishes, that were to stay at home and attend school. It's been 5 years since I have been able to spend a holiday with my family. My mother & I see each other once a week, b/c that's all we can work with. I made the attempt to go over to their home yesterday and try to repatch things up but before I could get there he was already cussing me out and saying that I wasnt welcomed. I dont want his aproval or his love I just want to be apart of my family again. The funny thing is he tells coworkers that he has a great relationship with me and that he has been putting me through school which is a total lie.
Should I give up?
2006-12-11 04:50:18 · 18 answers · asked by Mel 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Wow that's a hard one. Your dad sounds about as stubborn and mean as my dad. Why don't you go bring him some lunch to his job? I think this is your best bet since he's trying to pretend to be such a good father to other people maybe he'll open up some communication. Don't give up though. He's your daddy. He held you as a baby and taught you all those little things that made you a woman of independace who goes against the grain for progress. He'll realize eventually that he's wrong.
2006-12-11 04:57:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear Sad:
It's miserable isn't it? From some experience I can tell you that it's probably not in the cards to heal the rift between you and your father for a while. Somebody needs to knock some sense into his head but it will be difficult to do. You may need to tell yourself something along the lines of "Well, he's my dad, he's behaving irrationally, and there isn't anything I can do about his stupidity. You might also realize that he's a pretty sick puppy. He's living a lie when he fibs to his coworkers about you. EVERYONE needs, pines for (if they don't have it), and craves a connection with their family--especially fathers. You aren't alone (I know, that doesn't help much.) and are very normal in your feelings.
Some may advise you to tell his coworkers what's going on. You need to realize that they've undoubtedly got him pegged and can pretty well guess he's fantasizing.
Keep connections with you mom and any others you can and hope. Bless you.
2006-12-11 05:00:13 · answer #2 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never give up. He's your Dad, and he is the only one you have.
Dad's do crazy things when we go off to school or move for work. They act like we, being adults, are taking their Little Girl away from them.
He will come around to his senses, though 5 years is a long time.
Try calling home when no one is there. Leave a message for him on the machine: "Daddy...I miss you."
But no matter what, don't give up. Even though you are an adult, you still need Dad. Just in a different way.
When he comes to his senses, your relationship is going to be so strong. I promise.
2006-12-11 04:56:16 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's attempting to bully you into making a range you do not favor to make, in accordance to love. It sound stupid at the same time as positioned that way, yet it truly is in reality it. i don't believe he would somewhat decrease you off, he purely hopes the risk will be adequate. purely be variety to him and tell him you adore him, yet you're a individual, and tell him that he raised you nicely, and also you've self belief on your possibilities. Then provide him a kiss on the cheek. from time to time dad and mom are somewhat unreasonable, even with the undeniable fact that it continually will change right into a remember of the previous in some unspecified time sooner or later.
2016-11-25 20:53:13 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like jealousy and selfishness.
You have no choice if he will not let you in the house. Keep up the visits with your Mom. Do as well as you can at school and I guaranty one day he'll try to 'own' you again.
My daughter went through something similar. Now he begs and reaches out to her, but she got use to not having a father and she refuses to acknowledge him in any way.
2006-12-11 05:04:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your father is secretly proud of you but very rigid in what he expects from his family. My guess is that he might be ashamed about not having enough money to help pay for your education. Be patient; things may change for the better once you graduate. Until then, stay in touch with your mother!
2006-12-11 04:57:09 · answer #6 · answered by AnnieD 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW! I wish I had some magic words for you. I'm really sorry that things are the way they are for you. It seems to me that there must be other issues there, to be angry for so long doesn't make much since to me. The only suggestion I can make is to get some group counseling, your Mother should be demanding this.
Should you give up?
Well, only YOU can really answer that question.
2006-12-11 05:16:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go visit him at work where he can't start cussing you out. Tell him he needs to get over your choice of school since it's not his life or his money. You both already know this, but in front of witnesses, he can't retreat behind a load of profanity.
2006-12-11 04:57:42 · answer #8 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's your Mother's home too! Your Dad dosn't need to talk to you while you are there if he doesn't want to! No don't give up, let your Dad be a fool if he wants to be and you enjoy the rest of your family!
2006-12-11 04:54:21 · answer #9 · answered by wish I were 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That'sa tough one. When you see your mom each week, does she have any ideas on how to get thru to him? Maybe try it in writing. At least you dont hear his anger that way. Hopefully you'll be able to get thru to him one day soon. I wouldnt give up on him. In the meantime, I wish you the very best.
2006-12-11 04:58:19 · answer #10 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋