Don't you just hate the holiday blues ?

Question

A friend of mine was remarking that this time of year can bring out the blues in him. He tries to bring out and focus on the recent, good memories of the holidays, but the 'early years' memories bubble up and kind of ruin it. Especially, he thinks about his past, his father and mother were always arguing, then Christmas came around and everyone kind of faked it for about a week or so. His father was alcoholic, his mother was very critical and drank sometimes too; both parents came from alcoholic homes. They are both still living and both remarried, so the thought of going to see them again is tough.

Any advice ? Any former alcoholics who had the faking family problem

Should have said "any kids from former alcoholic homes" and how they deal with the faking family problem ?

Answer 1

He just needs to go and do his own thing take off to the casino, go ski-diving, go on a getaway cruise, go somewhere and do something fun on Christmas day or that week every year from this year foward, create happy memories for him or he needs to for himslef and remind him when he's blue that there is no changing the past so all he can do is make the future better and briter! In a few years from now when he looks back at Christams these will be what he looks back on, they will be filled with happy memories and the old will be replace with the new....

It's hard but holding on to all the hurt is making him miserable he just needs to let go and live a little... Get out there and change the holiday memories from bad to good or he can contine to mope around and woe is me. Have him celibrate Christmas the week before or the week after, nothing is wrong with this.... Maybe it is a hole lot of other things as well that bother him about this time of year not just what you have mentioned here and maybe he hasn't even told you the whole truth.... Yes btw I experienced this a few times in a certain kind of way and well I refuss to deal with it any lonjger and left the situation and try very hard not to look back at it why waste energy and time on the things of the past the future is what we are working for here now!....

Answer 2

Hi I'm sorry that your friend is going through a tough time..I know how he feels..The Holidays are hard enough and have to re live the past is even harder...I only can say for your friend to go to some kind of A.A. meeting for children of Alcoholic Parents..Most of the programs are very supportive..You are a good friend to ask a question like this cause you care about the well fair of your friend and the only other thing I can say is tell your friend not to do something that will have tragic effect on everyone around him..Please tell your friend that it isn't his fault for his parents and the choices they made on how to handle life..Please tell your friend and you to be safe and remember there are answers out there you just have too look...

Answer 3

That could be a really big reason why he's unhappy but also have you or him ever considered SADS? That stands for seasonal affective disorder syndrome. Usually when people have SADS everytime the holidays or winter comes they get very depressed usually because of suppresed memories and like you said his parents were always arguing and alcholoism is involved. For more information you can look it up in any psychology book or any website. I hope this helps and I hope that he'll be okay!

Answer 4

Actually,...I just celebrate the birth of Jesus everyday...and give generously all the time, in His name...It is a time of the year that people get sad, but really, the Lord doesn't ask us to celebrate like this, or He would have made it so all people and children would have had a gift...It can be sad, but tell your friend to start his OWN traditions now. and leave the past behind, that he can't change any way...Good luck and God Bless

Answer 5

yes

Answer 6

the blues are not fun