How best to beat a bear at cards?

Question

The bear is brownish.

Answer 1

Well depends what you're playing. If it's snap, then I'd let him win - you don't want those claws thumping down on your hand if you got there first. But I'd suggest you play pontoon (21), because he'd run out of digits to count on before he got to 17, so you'd have a distinct advantage with your 20 fingers and toes.

Answer 2

You can beat a bear at cards if you play him while running down hill, a bear's front arms and shorter than his back legs, i can draw you a picture, its one of a bear falling head over heals.

Answer 3

Use the old method of salmon and honey distraction. Gets them brownish ones every time.

Answer 4

A Priest, a Pentecostal Preacher and a Rabbi all served as chaplains to thestudents of the University of Georgia in Athens. They would get togethertwo or three times a week at the Varsity for coffee and to talk shop.

One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't reallyall that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a BEAR.

One thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment. They wouldall go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt toconvert it.

Seven days later, they're all together to discuss the "experience".

Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, is on crutches and hasvarious bandages goes first. "Well," he says, "I went into the woods to find me abear. And when I found him I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well,that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So Iquickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God,
he became as gentle a lamb. The bishop is coming out next week to give himfirst communion and confirmation."

Reverend Billy Bob Jones of the Pentecostal Church spoke next. He was in awheelchair, with an arm and both legs in casts and an IV drip. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he claimed "WELL brothers, you KNOW that we
don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to mybear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So Itook HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP
another and DOWN another until we came to a creek, so I quick DUNKED himand BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as alamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus"

They both looked down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. Hewas in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors running in and out of him.

He was in bad shape.

Rabbi Stein looks up and struggles to speak to the others. "Looking back
on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start things off".

Answer 5

Use the trick of the bear at cards to trick the card bearer!

Answer 6

They are easily distracted by honey or marmalade.

Answer 7

Say "hey there is a berry bush over there!" and when he looks away steal a glance at his cards.

Answer 8

Tell him a prickly pair(pear) beats everything else.

Answer 9

apart from being a stupid question, what has this got to do with religion?

Answer 10

honey