my boyfriend lied to me bigtime and i broke up with him.. but he keeps calling me and wants me back.. i really would like to get him back but i don't trust him anymore...am torn in between the two....please help.. suggestions would really be appreciated ..thank u so much
2006-12-11 02:52:11 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Take it from someone who knows....you can not have a meaningful relationship with someone if you can't trust him. He lied to you once and there isn't anything stopping him from repeating that offense again in the future. He may have told you already that he is sorry and that it will not happen again and he may have been sincere about it. But how can you be sure of it. I understand that you may love him....but is it love or lust? Distinguish the difference between the two. If you love him you should be able to trust him but that isn't always the case....no matter how much you love him, love can't make you trust him. Don't kid yourself into thinking that one day you will wake up trusting him 100%. Something in the past has happened to set off the alarm that he can't be trusted. You need to trust you instincts on this one. It will be hard letting go and moving on but why waste your time and his time if you know you will never be able to trust anything that comes out of his mouth.
2006-12-11 03:00:25 · answer #1 · answered by Billie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really care for him then you will try and work on the trust thing. He will have to earn it back and it will take some time, in the mean time you have every right to be like where are you and who's that in the back ground.
2006-12-11 02:57:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, figure why you want him back. He's lied to you and you've made the stand you won't tolerate a liar. Stick to your standards and don't lower them in that regard. Bite the bullet and move on. You'll see you made the right decision in the long run. You teach people how to treat you by example.
2006-12-11 03:04:40 · answer #3 · answered by areyoukidding 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand how you feel. I can tell you from experience, that if you can no longer trust him it may be best to move on and find someone new. Would you really want to get back together with someone that you may never be able to completely trust? It would be hard to stay with him. Good luck to you.
2006-12-11 02:56:29 · answer #4 · answered by I know, I know!!!! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If there is no trust in this relationship then its not going to work and you are going to be in this position again next time undecided and confused. I say foreget about thim you will meet other guys hes not the last one. You don't need to be in something that you will not belive in and always have doubts.
Best of Luck!
2006-12-11 02:58:49 · answer #5 · answered by Sugar 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can forgive - but can you forget? Will you punish him over and over again if you take him back? Or will you attempt an honest forgiveness and really move on with him? You have a choice. Learn from the mistake or take it with you into your future with the next guy... Trust has to be earned, but you have to give him the chance to prove hisself. It's really up to you.
2006-12-11 02:57:18 · answer #6 · answered by T. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust and honesty are the most important things in any relationship. If he earns back your trust completely, then take him back if you really want him. I'd keep my guard up though, history tends to repeat itself.
2006-12-11 02:58:58 · answer #7 · answered by cna_77381 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
trust is a really important thing in a relationship..I guess my advice would depend on what he lied about..if it was something small like he went someplace and lied about it, i'd say work on getting past it..but if it was a big lie like drugs or cheating, i'd say it would be better for you to move on and find someone honest....It really depends on what he lied about...trust is hard to rebuild...
2006-12-11 02:55:59 · answer #8 · answered by Syeira 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i just went through this...he kept calling and calling and calling.....so finally i decided to take him back and what do you know! he started lieing right away! so you kinda have to go with what you feel is right. But if you DO take him back just keep your eyes open because he'll probably think "well i lied to her before and she came back so i can lie again and she'll just come back again"
2006-12-11 03:02:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is always going to be a trust issue now. Move on you will be better off
2006-12-11 02:55:44 · answer #10 · answered by Eyes of Green 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋