My close cousin has a weight problem (over 450lbs at 36yrs old). She recently had the procedure done (where they staple your stomach to only take in small amounts of food) and lost a lot of weight at the beginning.
Over time, we started noticing her eating more and more at every family gathering (like a normal person). Every time someone mentions it to her, she withdraws and gets very defensive.
This past week her younger brother died (he was extra large too) so we went to her house to console her. In her fridge we noticed all kinds of unhealthy foods and lots of it... We didn't say anything that day because she was grieving.
So, I'm asking you all... How do you let a person know that they need to stop eating so much and start exercising before it's too late, without making them angry?
2006-12-11 02:35:57 · 13 answers · asked by Elliott 2 in Health ➔ Diet & Fitness
Absolutely DO NOT make them feel any worse than they already do. Talk to your cousin and tell her you know how much she's hurting and tell her you're always available to talk to and love her very much. Your cousin already knows she has a weight problem and needs to do something about it. This isn't news to her, trust me. She's using food to ease the pain she's feeling inside. This is NOT about food.
If you want to help her, start getting her involved in activities. Walk with her. She may not be able to do much at first, but if you set up a regular walking schedule with her, it'll be good for both of you. It'll make her feel better and will help with her weight. It might be all she needs to start feeling better about herself. Whatever you do, though, do NOT criticize her or make her feel bad in any way. That will be sure to send her to the refrigerator a few extra times.
2006-12-11 02:47:16 · answer #1 · answered by clarity 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Whatever you do, don't be critical of her. You could tell your cousin that you are concerned about her weight and that you did notice she was losing weight after having her stomach stapled and now it seems like she is going back to her old ways. Just wait until she gets past the grieving of her brother so it doesn't add extra stress that she doesnt need at this point.
There may be some underlying reason that your cousin is not telling you about that may be causing her to eat more. Let her know that if there is one, she can talk to you or other close family member. Just don't force her to tell you.
Just don't come down on her about her weight. It will only make things worse and may cause her to really over eat. Tell her that you are concerned and have seen what being at an unhealthy weight has done to others. Just be there for her and if your cousin knows how much you care and your concerns and you get to know the reasons, if any, she has gone back to her own ways, it may make it easier for everyone.
Good luck and hope all works out for the better.
2006-12-11 02:45:13 · answer #2 · answered by kerrberr95 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So many people who get bypass surgery do this. They think that they are free to eat what they want and that they'll never gain weight. The problem is that the little pouch they leave behind for your stomach can stretch back out over time to accomodate a normal or larger than normal quanitity of food.
I'd say that if I were in this situation I would gather up all the family members I could, and have an intervention. I wouldn't worry about making her angry. Her life is more important than worrying about making her angry. You all need to sit down with her and tell her that you KNOW what she is doing, and you know she's binging on junk, and she's undoing all the good that she had done with her surgery. Let her know that you know she's trying to hide it. Let her know that her tricks aren't working and that she needs to get real and realize she's behaving in a selfish, greedy manner. She's been given the second chance that THOUSANDS of people in this country would love to have. She's now squandering it and that is not Ok.
Be tough with her, don't let her play games. She needs to see that people will no longer enable her behavior. Best wishes.
2006-12-11 03:13:45 · answer #3 · answered by kherome 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't convince her to eat correctly by just telling her. She already knows what she is doing, she will just become defensive if you say anything. Then she will probably become depressed and eat even more.
Instead of giving her advice, give her some of your time. This is a person that eats because of emotional issues. Make a set time at least once a week to go do something with her. It doesn't have to cost anything but your time. Go walk around the mall, walk around the lake, or simply go shopping (a lot of walking involved there).
If you plan this every week she will have something to look forward to, she will get out of the house (and away from that stocked refrigerator), and she will get some exercise.
2006-12-11 02:43:52 · answer #4 · answered by maamu 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's an addiction. Realize that she can't control it. Then ask yourself if you can get a junkie off crack? It's the same kind of addiction but worse b/c everyone must eat! Telling her to stop eating will make her want to eat more. She needs to want this for herself. You can't help someone who doesn't want help. She needs to see a professional psychologists to talk about her mental health. She's probably eating b/c she's depressed. You could help by being positive and supportive. I know you're worried but she is probably more aware of her physical and mental state than you are.
2006-12-11 02:44:24 · answer #5 · answered by amy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can not help somebody do something they don't want to do. You need to STOP telling her she needs to slow down or that she is killing herself because that will only upset her and make her depressed which causes over eating. You need to get her outside and away from the food or the thinking of food. Do things with her we all know it is better to use the buddy system than to face it alone.
2006-12-11 02:45:34 · answer #6 · answered by c0mplicated_s0ul 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
why dont you educate her and show her what overeating can do to the human body, putting her down will get her on the defensive and stressed out which can lead to more eating. Show her the process of the body and the functions and how overeating can cause the body not to function properly. she should then realize that she is hurting herself and try to seek help
2006-12-11 02:44:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you could throw all unhealthy food away in her pantry and buy her a more healthy selection of food, you might have to make it for her to start with. she might just be lazy and the junk food is easy to just throw in the microwave and get comfy on the couch.
2006-12-11 03:11:41 · answer #8 · answered by Samantha 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could go to counsling. But maybe if you giver her information on her lifestyle, and other healthy lifestyles. An support her in her habitats, and push her along. You'll help her get healthy. But it is up to her.
2006-12-11 02:43:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Offer to exercise with her. While you take a walk maybe you can talk and help her through her emotions.
2006-12-11 02:51:45 · answer #10 · answered by Professor Maddie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋