I have a beatiful 1 year old daughter with a not so great ex. He and I got into a tif about 7 months ago that turned phyisical on his part and he accidentally struck our daughter. Ever since then (although it was an accident) I haven't had much to do with him. DCF is involved and he is only allowed to see our daughter 1 hour a month with supervised (by Safe Childrens Coilition) visitation. He can get more visitation, he just has to complete the tasks they have asked him to...until then if he goes near her without permission he will be put in jail. Anyways, I am getting married in two weeks to a wonderful man and father. My daughter absolutely adores him and likewise. My fiance' is really the only father she has known. Her real dad has had 7 months (with no provail) to get his act together and nothing. He pays me no child support and never buys things for her because he has no job, but he does always give me a hard time. Is there anything I can do?! has anyone been where I am?Even a lil
2006-12-11 01:59:49 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
First of all, congrats on your wedding!
Second of all, you did the right thing with your ex. There is no "accidents" when it comes to physical abuse. Maybe your daughter wasn't the target, but he purposely was swinging to begin with, which is always wrong. If he'll hit once, he'll hit again, and again, and again...
While you wait on the jerk to get his act together (if he ever does) enjoy your life with your soon-to-be husband and daughter. If your ex is harassing you, take his sorry butt to court. While your at it, you might want to consider going to court for the child support he owes. The court can (and will) order him to get a job, and pay you X amount per month to help support his baby. If he doesn't comply, he'll go to jail.
Or just see if your fiance would be willing to adopt your daughter, and if your ex would sign away his parental rights. This would get him out of your, and your daughter's, life 100%. She could grow up with the loving father she knows as her only, and legal, father. You would no longer have to put up with the guy, and be able to live as a happy family. From your exes view, it would relieve him of any financial and legal obligations on a daughter he obviously cares so little about. If he did, he would have complied with DCF sooner than 7 months to be able to see his daughter.
2006-12-11 02:10:58 · answer #1 · answered by welches_grape_jelly 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Enjoy your wedding & your daughter for now and then once you're setlled in, let the lawyer handle the rest. A good lawyer should be doing the work & reassuring you that everything is going to work out
If your ex doesn't get his act together in the alloted time, I'm sure you can go back to court and tell your side of the story. Does your fiance have the desire to adopt her? If so, that will be another legal battle, depending on if your ex would rather give up his rights to her or go to jail for not paying child support. You and your fiance do what you feel is best for the 3 of you. I wish you a lot of luck...be sure you have a lawyer on your behalf..
2006-12-11 04:51:30 · answer #2 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I make this a short as possible... onced I married my ex backed off for a while... the next time he called and started something my husband handeled it... my ex new then with me being married there was a man in the picture to deal with... my new husband put the fear of god in him...
As far as fathers... you ex has to sign away his rights... we have here whats called the friend of the court... they go after fathers for childsupport... once he in debt to you several thousand and he facing jail time for not paying... I assure you he will sign his rights over to keep from going to jail and maybe your husband will want to adopt her.
You can get a attorney now but... that will cost $$$$$$... let it run its course he will sign his right over when he's facing jail time...
2006-12-11 02:24:35 · answer #3 · answered by Sandy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. Step back and take a deep breath
2. Congrats on your upcoming marriage
3. 7 mos--no support, no improvement---Its time for a court hearing to sever parental rights
4. Let soon to be hubby, adopt her
5. Breath alot easier
6. and again congrats and good luck
2006-12-11 02:38:30 · answer #4 · answered by HappyGoLucky 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take a really deep breath and RELAX...
these problems are behind you...really/ hopefully he will fade and go away....
But think about what you do have, great guy, great future, great kid...boy are you lucky!!!!
You can't change the past and you can only deal with it as it comes up. 'Stop stressing, carpe diem. Everyone has some crap in the background...just enjoy and appreciate what you have now...you are a lucky girl. Don't get in touch w/daddy, my take is he will go away...have a great love and life w/ your new man...sounds like a good guy.
2006-12-11 02:15:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Turn him in for no child support,, after a while he will get his drivers lic. took away and do jail time. When he gets all this mess thrown in his face and your still happy with new husband and daddy, ask him to sign his rights away. Good luck
2006-12-11 02:04:45 · answer #6 · answered by blwatson41 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cut his a$$ off, do you want that influence in your daughters life?
I vote "no".
Take him to court to see if there's anything that can be done about child support, but sometimes people just don't pay- they even avoid getting hired becuase eventually federal starts automatically deducting it from their pay check. Been there.
2006-12-11 02:07:26 · answer #7 · answered by throughthebackyards 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Blackmail. Put the no child support over his head until he signs away his rights. Just be ready to carry it through if he doesn't sign.
2006-12-11 02:09:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
get a lawyer and have his parental rights severed have the new husband to be adopt your child
2006-12-11 02:04:12 · answer #9 · answered by just_me_1955 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your doing whats right for you and for your baby... keep it up... let go of the loser...
it sounds like you got a wonderful person who loves both of you...... so just move forward....
2006-12-11 04:02:00 · answer #10 · answered by ﺸÐïåMóñdÐôññåﺸ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋