I broke my six year old daughters heart, her cat?

Question

We just recently moved into a new home and my daughters cat, that she has raised from a kitten, suddenly was uncontrolable. Peeing and crapping all over the house. We had tried everyones suggestions but she just would not behave. So this weekend we gave my daughters cat away. She is heart broken and I do not know what to do? I offered to get her another pet pet, but she is not ready to do that. Any ideas would be helpful.

Answer 1

Moving to a new home is a tough transition for animals. Everything has changed, and it takes alot of time for them to get use to their new surroundings, and some are not ever able to make that transition. This cat was destroying your new home, and as a responsible parent, you did what you felt that you had to do, and sometimes that means hurting our kids feelings in the process. You offered your daughter a new cat, and she is not ready, so let her know that when she is to let you know and then you can begin the search for a new one. Kids are resilient and bounce back. Some take more time then others, but she will. It's so sweet that you don't have the 'too-bad-so-sad' attitude! I know a lot of parents, especially dads, that have that and don't feel for their kids. But she will come around, and you'll have your little girl back. Your a good dad, and your daughter knows it, so don't fret. This soon too shall pass.......

Answer 2

That was a mean thing to do. I think you should have let the cat get more used to the new house. You should have confined it to an area like the basement so it wasn't overwhelmed. Can you get the cat back? I hate to say it but your daughter will resent you for the rest of her life. My Mom gave away one of my cats because she thought 3 was too many when I was around 8 and I still haven't forgot it. You could get another pet but my concern is that if it doesn't work out right away, that you'll give up and end up breaking your daughter's heart again not to mention being very unfair to the animal. You raised this cat from a kitten and just gave up on it. This sends a horrible message to your daughter. She'll be scared to death if she ever wets the bed! Try everything you can to get the cat back and this time be patient! This is the only way to remedy this situation.

Answer 3

I feel for you. I had the same thing happen when we moved. We put up with it for 6 months. I tried everything. I took her to the vet, I got different litter, I moved her litter box to a different location, I tried to punish her, I tried to use sprays that deterred her away from the areas she was going in, i tried locking her in a room with her litter box - that worked until she was allowed out and then she started going everywhere again. Nothing worked. My daughter was 4 at the time. I told her even before we got rid of the cat that she was going to go to a new home because she was really messing up the house. The day we got rid of her (I took her to the humane society. I felt like crap, but I didn't know what else to do) She cried (I cried too). It was bad for a week or so, but I just kept reassuring her that the cat was happier in her new home. She still (She's 7) brings up that cat every once in a while, but she brings up the fact that it went to the bathroom everywhere. In time your daughter will hurt less. Just don't try to force another pet on her until she is ready. She needs to grieve the loss of her cat, and she will and life will return to normal.

Answer 4

Did you move into a brand new house, new construction, or was the house only new to your family? I ask because I wonder if your kitty was reacting to a smell. The smell of paint or carpet underlayment in a new home will be wrong to a cat, very offensive. If the house is an older one, there may have been cats there, male cats who sprayed, or even female cats, and if they wet on the carpet that urine would have soaked the underlayment and the cat can still smell it, even if you don't. There had to be something there that caused a spaz reaction. If your cat is 'fixed' it may be trying to mark the new territory and finding out that it isn't working the way it ought...very frustrating for her.

Most cats, when moved into a new (for them) will go into hiding until the excitement wears off. The spaz thing is rare and reactive to something adverse. Even a set of stereo or computer speakers pointed in a strange (to the cat) direction is offensive to her sensitive ears. Don't make a bad decision and blame the cat until you know for sure.

Answer 5

First of all, when you take on a pet you take on a pet for life.
You should be ashamed of yourself.
When you say you tried everyones suggestions, what did these people suggest?
The person you should have asked for help from was your Vet.

The cat was NOT uncontrollable the cat had been moved from it's enviorment....cats don't take well to change and it takes a while for them to adapt to a new home or any change in the routine.

What you can do is get HER cat back and take the time to introduce the cat to the new house...keep it in one room with food, water, litter and toys for a few days then let it out of that room for a couple of hours the first day then add a couple more hours the next day.
When the cat is finally out of the room full time then SLOWLY move the litter box out of that room into the room you want the litter to remain in.
My Vet recommended moving the littler box NO MORE than 5 feet per day.

Please get that child's pet back!

Answer 6

Well its normal for cats to do that when they move - usually it takes about 3 weeks or so to get used to the new home.

But what's dnoe is done. Just be sure to explain to your daughter that her kitty wasn't acting like himself anymore - and he was making the house unsafe for her because kitty poop isn't safe for kids - so you had to keep her safe. She will be upset, probably for a while, just talk to her about it when she needs to and let her know when she's ready you could get a new pet.

But be sure the next time you get a pet to be in it for the long haul - most behavior issues that are caused by something like a move can be reversed.

When I was little I had a pet rat that my sister gave me (yup, a rat lol) and my Dad worked in a lab where they had rats and other rodents and he couldn't have one at home because of opssible cross contamination so he gave me about 1 day to find it a home and then when I couldn't he brought it out back and broke its neck. I'll always remember that my Dad killed my rat... I was 13 or so. I'm 27 now.. I'm not mad at him anymore but I still remember. We ended up getting a kitten right afterwards and my parents still have her "babies" this many years later.

Answer 7

Was this the first move for the cat? It was definitely traumatized with the move. You have to let a pet get used to its new surroundings. At least for a month. Make sure it knows where it litterbox is newly located. What if your daughter changed and started acting different after the move, who you have discarded her that quickly? Kids get really attached to pets and never forget them, no matter how much time passes.

Answer 8

I hate to tell you this, but it is probably going to stick with her for life, especially since it sounds like you gave her no choice or other options - that can be quite traumatic. The bonds children have with pets are deep and not something to take lightly. The sudden change in the cat's behavior sounds like it was temporary and just needed some TLC and patience.

She will never forget how you when the going got rough you threw the loved one away instead of working through it. (Would you give your daughter away when she acts difficult? To her its the same thing) Atleast let her grieve all she needs to and respect her feelings, let her express them. Trying to force her to move on just so you won't feel uncomfortable or guilty is the wrong thing to do. In time, she will get better, but I recommend you think more deeply about giving pets to children and the ramifications to her emotionally next time around.

Answer 9

This is the number one reason why most cats end up in the shelter, of which, 71% are estimated to be euthanized.

There's nothing you can do to replace to hurt in your daughters heart. A new pet is NOT an option. This is a hard lesson that all kids must learn, the loss of a pet (although hers was given away, she still 'lost' her pet).

Only time can heal.

Answer 10

Please empathize with her and let her know that it was a decision that was made unfairly. This is something that should have been addressed in a "family meeting" setting. It's too bad you didn't sit down with her BEFORE you made the decision to take her pet that she raised as a kitten. She was a responsible, loving pet owner and you gave no regard whatsoever to let her in on the decision. If it was a health issue and one that you weren't willing to negotiate on, that's fine, but she's aware enough to be able to discuss these issues with you. On top of losing her pet, she may have lost a little trust in you. So show empathy, share a story from your childhood when something similiar happened to you. She won't think any less of you, she'll feel bonded with you, if anything. Be sad with her. That's the best way to feel connected and cared for.

Answer 11

My mom and elder sister did the exact same thing to me when I was 8. I never forgot and it colored my relations with them ever after... I never trusted them completely (and that is stating it mildly). I hope that your daughter does not react the same way I did, but I'm thinking it is only fair to warn you. To children, pets are not JUST pets - they are BEST FRIENDS. You should have gone the distance becuase the cat was young and would have settled down eventually in the new environment. All that peeing and pooping were signs of stress. Instead, you've just communicated to your daughter that your house is much more important to you than her. I'd hate to be in your shoes.