Should I go to my mother in-laws for Chritmas?

Question

I am married and I have two wonderful kids. I have an 8 year old daughter from a previous relationship and we have a 4 year old son. My mother in law is pissed because I can't get my daughter for X-Mas eve. I have her X-Mas day instead. The thing of it is, my husbands brother, his gf, and there son and her two daughters are coming home. My mother in-law does X-Mas eve every year. I alternate holidays with my daughters dad and this year I get her X-Mas day. Any way my mother in law came to my house and in front of a bunch of people sat there and was like well are you sure you can't get her and was rolling her eyes at me and makeing me feel about the size of a pee!!! You should really work on getting her etc. I am just sick of the drama that they bring to the table and I really don't want to spend X-Mas with them at all. My husband understands and says I can stay home. But I don't want to feel like I am hurting him if I don't go. Please help.

Answer 1

She sounds like a drama queen for sure. I would go ( i mean your 4 yr old will be there, and you dont want to miss being with him on christmas eve). Its possible that she just really wants everyone to be together and doesnt realize she is acting like a big ol buttock. Maybe you could "overnice" the mil just for your own laffs. Youre not alone, theres lots of her kind out there. good luck.

Answer 2

I understand completely!!!! I've been going though the same thing with my mother in-law for 4 years. I've been going to their X-Mas parties every year. This year I'm not going because.....my wife and I are back together after a 4 month separation and possible divorce because of her mother. Now, I don't have to deal with the fake BS from her side of the family. I've always known they all hate me. Now, I don't have to even be around them. I'm just glad they're all pissed off that we're staying married. LOL!!!! I don't care if I get a X-Mas eve to myself ya know? Should be nice. I get to watch the games and be a slob for a day. Maybe do some last minute shopping for the kids? Whatever.

Answer 3

I think there's other issues besides where and when you celebrate Christmas. That should be dealt with. However, Christmas is about spending time with family. Your daughter has a father who wants to spend time with her and she should. You are obligated to stick to the decision. If your mother-in-law is not understanding, maybe you should just stay home with your own little family. Your husband should make his mother understand that he has left his parents and is "cleaving" to his wife. And this can be done in a nice way, surely.

Answer 4

i think you will just have to go, noone likes christmas at the in laws but if we want to keep the peace we just do it, thank god its only once a year , i dont understand why there is so much pressure on christmas it is one day out of 365, and it is quite meaningless if your not religous, it think it should be about relaxing have a drink if you want to and eating way to much. When you go there make sure you tell the mother inlaw to get of your back you have done your best and you dont need one more thing to worry about, good luck

Answer 5

I read that your husband says it's alright for you to stay home, but is he willing to stay home with you? Whatever the case, the two of you should pose a united front. Don't stay home and have him go alone because you really will look like the bad guy. If you are going to stay home, it should be a family decision, one that works for the entire family (you, your husband, and your children). A lot of the problems with mothers-in-law is that they tend not to know their place. What business is it of hers if you are locked into custody situations and can't get out of them? She should learn to stay in her place, maybe her husband should help you out in that matter.

Answer 6

Your husband said you could stay at home but you didn’t say whether he is going to stay home with you or are you going to stay home alone.

My advice to you would be,
If he’s staying home with you. Pack in a picnic basket and go somewhere where no one can contact you.

If he’s going without you. Rather go with. But compromise. You go with, but you both leave early.

Remember she is your husband’s mother and if the two of you fight it automatically puts him in the middle. So whatever you decided, just remember to tell him you love him and don’t want to hurt him.
But I’m really not the right person to be giving advice as I myself have a major problem with my mother in law’s attitude.

Answer 7

who says that he has to go anyway if he were any kind of man he would stand up to his mother and make her stop making you feel bad . I know that my mother and father have tried before to make my husband feel bad and I put them in their place . Your husband needs to put a stop to his mother . yes spend christmas at your house with your husband your son and forget what everyone else in his family thinks . good luck and god bless and happy holidays.

Answer 8

Other people can't make us feel a certain way...............we allow them to make us feel a certain way.

You should be glad she's wanting your daughter there! Alot wouldn't.

Anyways, why would you not go because of her rolling her eyes?

She'll just have to learn for future referances, that your daughter also has a life outside of your home.

GO............don't be a baby.

Answer 9

After 24 years of attempting to smile while i might somewhat "b*tch-slap" her, i eventually advised my spouse, i'm not gonna take it anymore. to evade a scene, I refuse to pass to her abode or any amassing that incorporates her. i've got faith so plenty greater relaxed having made this determination. subsequently, i are not getting to work out any of my spouse's kinfolk with the aid of spouse's mom undertaking. different than for my brother-in-regulation and neice, i don't omit them the two.

Answer 10

Since your husband understood and said so,stay at home