If this happened to your child what would you do?

Question

I was informed from my 7 year old daughter that a couple of the girls from her second grade class have been calling her filthy names like f*****g b***h and other ones. I have made a call to the teacher. My daughter said that they still haven't stopped. They just quit doing it to her face. My daughter is a very sweet child. Everyone of the adults at the school says that she is one of the best behaved children in the school. I also know that my daughter would not lie about the words. She didn't even know that they were bad until she told me what was said. We don't use that language in our house.

So, my question is this... How would you handle this situation if you had already gone to the teacher? Should I contact the parents? I don't want to make it worse for my daughter with these girls. I know that when a parent gets involved the kids really do harder damage to the child that has been picked on. Some one please help.

Answer 1

Have you talked to the principal or the superintendent? I would talk first to the teacher (which you did) then to her supervisor (which would be the principal) then on up. You might also talk to the school counselor. I would be a little nervous about talking to the children's parents if I didn't know them. These girls may be learning this type of behavior at home, and if so you may not want to deal with their parents. I would definitely keep complaining to the school. It is their responsibility to make sure that children are not bullied while at school

Answer 2

Since the teacher is evidentally unable to control this situation, the Principal would be your next step. If the Principal becomes involved the teacher will "try a little harder" to control this situation. The parents of these children (at this age) have to be using the language or watching programs of that type for the children to be using that language. If the Principal is unable to stop it then either the Superintendent , a school board member, or a change of classroom teachers. I hope that this helps in some fashion. Have a great holiday and remind your child that MOST PEOPLE DO NOT treat others this way!!
Eds

Answer 3

I would go straight to those little girls first opportunity I got I would, with my child at my side tell them exactly what you 'know' and that some other kids in the class told you (other kids you know outside of school) that way it doesn't come back on your daughter. Tell those mean little girls that you do know their parents. Tell them how ashamed you are for them, that you cannot understand why such seemingly nice young ladies would ever do such a thing and be so mean. How pretty girls are nice and mean girls turn ugly. All in a matter of fact, disappointed in them, authoritative kind of way. I have used this technique in similar situations, it works great!

I have to say right here and now, this would NEVER continue to happen in my kids school, just not an issue, There would be a stop put to this right away. I am surprised to even know this was allowed to continue, 2nd grade? I thought schools were more aware now a days than they use to be. As a parent in your situation, I'd be JUST A BIT ANGRY! I'd let the school know too!

Answer 4

I think that you need to go straight to the principal and the principal needs to get the other parents, you and the teacher together for a meeting. I have had experiences with other kids parents thinking their child can do no wrong and that the other child must provoke them in some way., so depending on the parents and how they think, that may help or may not. But that definitley needs to be done. You should always get involved with that type of thing, because if you dont it can escalate to worse things as your daughter gets older. It doesnt do harder damage. It will help. Trust me.

Answer 5

If it were my daughter I would talk to the principal and tell him/her that you talked to the teacher and it still hasn't stopped and ask if you could set up a conference between you and the parents in the principals office. Explain to the parents that this has been going on for quite some time now and that you want it to stop and to inform them that their daughters are talking this way. They had to have heard it somewhere usually from the parents or someone else in the family. If for some reason it doesn't stop or gets worse let the parents know that your going to file a harassment suit if it doesn't stop because your poor little girl shouldn't have to be afraid to go to school because of these two little devils.

Answer 6

I think I would call the teacher, and request a meeting with the teacher and Principle. Explain to the Principle that you have already talked to the teacher, and have not gotten the response you needed. Put the ball in his court, let him give it a try. I would let him know that your next step is the school board, and no principle wants to be reported to the school board for not doing his job. Part of the teacher and princples job is to protect your child, and it sounds like they are failing. The principle should bring in the parents of the kids who are doing this, and work with them. It does make it difficult on the child who is being picked on, but these kids are young enough that maybe this can be prevented from them harassing children in the future. I hope so for your daughters sake. Good luck and best wishes for a Merry Christmas.

Answer 7

it is time to go to the principal explain that although the children are not saying it to her face that they are still saying it. He can then go to the parents and say that it has been brought to his attention from some concerned parents that their child is saying these inappropriate things on school grounds and that if it doesnt stop they will be suspended. If this doesnt work then go over his head to the school board. Make sure that the principal does not mention your or your daughters name to protect her from being called a snitch and making things worse. He should just say that some parents of students in the school have come to him about this situation.

Answer 8

If you've talked to the teacher and nothing has happened, then I would go to the pricipal. I would hold off on going to the other parents until after you've had a chance to talk with the principal, but that would be my next step if that didn't work. Of course, as you said, going to the parents could make matters worse.

My son had some issues like this and we found the best remedy was just to give it a little time. Tell your daughter to ignore these other girls, don't talk to them, don't react to the name calling and don't hang around them. They will eventually move on to someone else. If she sits near them in class, see if the teacher could move her away. This would best be done by rearranging everyones seats so that it doesn't look as though she is the reason for the move. In other words, if your daughter is the only one moved, this would look obvious to the other girls and give them something else to tease her about.

Hope this helps. Good luck.

Answer 9

I have confronted parents before, and got good results and bad results. So the best way to go is over the teacher's head....to the principal, and inform him that if nothing is done about the girls filthy language, you will go to the school board.
They do not want the school board involved!!

Answer 10

Honestly, I would take a different approach than contacting the teachers and possibly the parents. I think you need to sit down with your daughter, trat her like an adult and explain to her what the words mean, why you shouldn't use them, and then let her know that this is standard child behavior, everyone gets picked on, and that they are only using the words becuse they are immature and think it is funny, not a personal attack against her.

The best behaved is always going to end up being a target, until she moves over to the "dark side" and joins them to avoid being the target, then you have bigger problems.

Let her know to just ignore them, and that nothing is meant by the kids saying them, it will be over soon, since children tend to quickly migrate over to new taunts as they learn them.

This is the time when you need to brace her for more taunting, such as when she becomes a teen.

I would just pull on your childhood experiences, let her know that right now it might be hard, but in no time she will be off to college and working a job with the same type of people that have finally grown up.

This is a crucial point in her life where she is going to learn a lot of social lessons. You might even want to teach her some whitty comebacks if they do get in her face, something to really stump them.

Really, this is quite minor, as opposed as to what could be heading her way in the next few years, so really prepare her to handle it.

I think this is the best advice I can give.