Name and shame an Absent Father?

Question

We've all seen the latest news about naming and shaming absent fathers which they invisage happening within the next 2 years!

I'm thinking of setting up a new 360 page specifically for my daughters father. Who has been near on invisable since my daughter was born.

What do you think?

Savs - The man in question has been in and out of my daughters lfe for 9 years. My daughter is verging on anorexia through the stress of his comings and goings.

He did not leave me, I left him because his was a woman beater. Please do not judge me.

I simply do not want other women to fall prey to him.

Answer 1

Yes, name and shame.

I pay my Child support month in month out (circa £400 pm) and have my children at weekends. Ok I moan about the amount the CSA take as I think it is too high with a second family to support. But I DO pay and see them and it p1ssess me off big style the guys who do neither.

What kind of a 'man' doesn't want to see and support his children? They should be exposed for the spineless, good for nothing sh1ts that they are.

Answer 2

Such vindictiveness no doubt will be appreciated by the children who unfortunately carry the genes of the 'absent fathers' you want to 'name and shame'. Can you imagine the kid trying to find a job and the employer says, 'Ah, right, so you're the daughter of the 'deadbeat dad that was on the list some time ago.'
You shame the dad you shame the child. And you shame yourself, for you were the fool who rolled around in the hay with a deadbeat.

Answer 3

I'm all for it, girl. My 2 daughters grew up w/o their father in their lives because he was a male whore that I finally caught. That's the nicest way I can describe him. He would show his face every 2nd or 3rd year, promise them everything, then drop out of their lives again for another 2 or 3 years, and then do it all over again. And, of course I was the bad guy because he kept leaving. I never took him back into my home, but I tried to have a decent relationship on a friend level for the girls, but then the whore gene would kick in, and I wouldn't, so he would start calling me names, tell the girls it was my fault, and drop out again for another 2 or 3 years. He hasn't been able to have a real relationship with anyone, and I just want him to leave me alone. I'm tired of the grief that he's brought into my life.

Answer 4

As long as their is legitimate reasons for him to be named and shamed. I'm an absent father myself although not through choice, i have tried so hard but couldn't get things to work out and I'd hate for me to be named and shamed when i want nothing more to be part of my daughters life. Some blokes though do need it maybe just to be brought down a peg or two and face up to their responsibilities. good luck. xxx

Answer 5

Good for you as long as you know that it is what you want, that it is in your daughter's best interest and that you know that everything in life has consequences. I'm not being negative, my point is that in case he finds out and wants further contact, legally he might, and consequently do more psychological damage to your daughter.
My sister had the same with her 3 children, that was 13 years ago (when the youngest one was born), her ex didn't pay one penny for them, but to her, the hard work and sleepless nights are paying off with 3 fantastic children, whom see their mum as their friend, mum and dad.

Answer 6

I say more power to you! My daughter father was a woman beater to as well as an absent jerk that doesn't help at all. I'd at least start a list you can search by name.

Answer 7

My daughter's dad treated me pretty badly and then dropped me altogether, so I know how tempting it is to want to shame him. But I also want my daughter to grow up as whole as possible, so I resist the temptation to say anything negative about him anywhere she could stumble on it at a later date.

Don't do it, for her sake.

Answer 8

seriously i dont think it helps when mothers make it seem like their children NEED some deadbeat father... okay so if the father is an *** and doesn't want to be there, then make it seem like it's HIS loss, not the childs. Every child should ideally have a mom and dad, but one parents love is enough...and just b/c one parent is absent doesn't mean u'll lack love or anything..
so quit telling ur child "i'm sorry baby, blahblah pity crap" just acknowledge the fact that the father is gone, and move on. nothing makes a kid feel more like crap when they think that their father SHOUlD want them but doesnt...makes them feel inadequate!!

Answer 9

Why waste your time and energy? He obviously didn't want to part of your daughters life, but she has you and i bet she doesn't need him in her life anyway. I bet you make up for her having a mum and dad anyway.

I would get on with my life if i was you, i know it is hard your bringing your little girl up while he is doing nothing to help or support her. But when she is older it will be you she has to thank not her father. Be glad he isn't a part of her life because one thing she doesn't need is someone who cannot be bothered to see his daughter.

Answer 10

I was thinking the same ;) yes they should be named and shamed..but only if theyre maintenance dodging and not taking any care of their klds. some absent parents do all they can for their kids and still get unfairly strung up for maintenance.