As children, we were taught to...?

Question

...lie? Children are so honest, and say whatever is on their minds. But most parents have criticized and sometimes punish their children for these words, so over time, they learn to lie or keep quiet (also lying by way of omission). So are we really not able to handle the truth?

Answer 1

I wasnt taught to lie, I was taught to think before I spoke. A valuable lesson.

Answer 2

I never lie to my children even though the truth can hurt sometimes. It is never done in a malicious fashion. I have long believed that to tell children that "Santa Clause" is the one who brings them gifts on Christmas is a LIE. My kids appreciate that mommy & daddy , aunts etc... all work hard and love them and think of them and that's why they send them special gifts during the holidays. (Along with the spirtual reasons). We tell them that "Santa" is a wonderful Christmas character to enjoy during the season but that he does not exist. They accept this. It is the reason they were not traumatized and disappointed finding out he wasn't real since they have known this truth their entire lives. We teach them to thank the person who has given them the gift and to also give of their time as well as their gifts and they love the appreciation and happiness they receive from those they gift.
If there is something that we don't want the children to accidentally repeat then we keep that conversation private. We don't lie about "not being at home" when an unwanted call comes in. In short we make this a practice in all things and the children have learned to be honest and are secure because they know they can rely on mom & dad to do what they say they will do. Our yes means yes and our no means no.

Answer 3

I agree with you. However learning "how" to lie is an integral part of a successful society. You can't go around saying what you feel all the time, (ie, telling people they are ugly or fat or smell bad). Parents teach tolerance by teaching children that pointing out someones flaws is a bad thing. Also, when a parent asks a child not to mention a subject it is a way to teach trust and instill a pack mentality (the pack being the immediate family unit).

Answer 4

In the past, children were meant to be seen and not heard. Unfortunately as of late we live in a "ME ME ME" world. Everything revolves around ME. We are lazy as parents. Instead of "teaching" our children and/or correcting them we confuse them. We demand they be honest with us, yet we make white lies to friends and family and our Children see this. They only know what they are taught. Especially with divorced parents who have no one else to talk to. They must realize children are not adults and divorced parents need to quit pitting the children against the other parent. People are too quick to name call and say bad things about others without realizing, children are not and should not be a part of Adult conversation. Being lazy parents, they tend to treat their children like adults and not as innocent children. In this world of technology, it is easier for an adult to converse on line rather than in person taking the "Personal skills" out of the picture, therefore many have lost the skill of communicating face to face, which explains why companies send employees to school to learn this once-came-naturally skill all over again. Lazy parents also as a means of "Explaining when it is ok to lie", impart to their children well you aren't really lieing if you don't tell the entire truth, you just didn't tell the whole story.

Parents these days need to keep their mouths shut when discussing adult matters around children. They may get upset when their children repeat things but the children are only reflections of the adults they live with.

Answer 5

I was never taught to lie If I was to lie my father would be angry. Always tell the truth even if it hurts People will learn quicker from the truth than lies. However if your parents tell you to say nothing from a conversation that you have had about somebody and they ask you what was said be curcmspect and only mention the good points they uttere.That's not telling lies ok. I hope this answers your question

Answer 6

Kids can also be cruel and obnoxious.
Tact is something you learn.
And let's face it any politician that says the truth is immediatly slammed by the press, so is truth something you can even tell anymore?
I still remember being in major trouble for telling an aunt of my Dads that I hated her. I mostly hated our weekly trips to her home where I was bored to death but when your a kid it comes out a little too concise. I was so yelled at and told what to say to get out of the situation on the phone. Then I had to really make up for it in other ways over the year. I still didn't like her and I can't remember seeing her much after I was an adult.

Answer 7

We are taught conflicting lessons, to lie and to not lie. We're told to not say insensitive things and we eventually lose the frank-ness we had as a child. That is not exactly lying...but it's not honesty either. However, fables like George Washington and The Cherry Tree stress the point that honesty is necessary.

So are we really taught to lie? Or is it just human nature?

Answer 8

That is a very interesting point. Even though people generally say to their kids that they shouldn't lie people's actions kind of teach kids the exact opposite - that sometimes it's better to lie than to tell the truth. I've never thought about this before, but now you gave me food for thought...

Answer 9

most people have a hard time being this open because of all the ideas the media puts into our minds, making us have a false view of what is normal and not normal, right and wrong, and so on, if a parent enforces these views, sadly there is little hope for the child to grow up and be completely true with themselves and others, the world needs more of these people,
KEEP IT REAL

Answer 10

I don't believe that. As a child I was taught to always tell the truth and my mum (even now) can always tell if i do attempt to tell a lie. Parents who don't teach their kids the difference between right and wrong are the ones who produce liars.

I think this all boils down to how much respect we have for our own parents. If you don't respect them (and lie to them), then you are not going to respect anyone else and be honest.

Answer 11

My parents did not teach us to lie that is the reason I'm so blunt and honest that people think I'm rude sometimes when I ask a question and answer to question.