Iv been with him for 13 months, and all he has ever brought me is a white gold ring, a silver necklace and two red roses!!!
He works for god sake, and i am quite high maintence, i like to be wined and dined, but he never takes me out, and when we do, i usually end up paying most of the bill!!
I mean im a student and i manage to buy him the odd gift like expensive aftershave and a gucci tie, but i dont buy him anything now because i think he should buy me something first! BUT his excuse is that i dont buy him things so i dont deserve it either!!
For our 1st anniversary he didnt buy me a gift because he said he didnt get paid on time, but i have yet to buy him a gift because i have been busy with uni and i have had many assignments, but im thinking should i buy him something???
Am i being selfish??????!
2006-12-10 22:40:59 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
well.. everyone seems to think that im in the wrong, i must add that he has not got a car, so i have to drive him around, and he never phones me, i always phone him!!! and im a 20 yr old student and hes a 25 yr old working man! so dont i deserve to be treated?
2006-12-10 22:48:46 · update #1
No, you need to move on, have some fun and be treated the way you deserve to be,
maybe telling him that you're thinking of finishin it will spur him on to show his appreciation a bit more....sounds like you're being taken for granted...
2006-12-11 00:40:42 · answer #1 · answered by ReD eYe ReCoRdS 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I think he might do not have plenty money or he saving for something else (does he has a house with mortgage). Perhaps he is not a natural giver, a lot of people brought up saving pennies. If he is like that, do not expect anything from him, either except him as he or find someone else. He won't change no matter how much he loves you. Not buying a gift is one thing but not paying a meal in a restorant? ... that is not common even in this era (as you are a student as well ).
2006-12-11 06:50:52 · answer #2 · answered by Lilu 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you give gifts all the time, they become meaningless. You've only been together 13 months and already he's bought you jewellery and given you flowers. You need to start looking at his good points and stop judging your relationship by how many gifts you've accumulated. Is he there for you? Does he make you feel good? If he does then you have more than a lot of poor women out there. Sounds like maybe you're not happy though and that you're looking for an excuse. Or maybe the honeymoon period has worn off and you're just not ready for the hard work it takes to make a relationship work..which is fine, you've got your studies to think of. Just ask yourself if this is really what you want.
2006-12-11 06:47:54 · answer #3 · answered by Velvet_Goth 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
well, think you may need to chill out a little bit first and see things through. from what you have mentioned in your question. i understand that in your relationship, you are the only one who is giving out (material, money), and he is a reciever.
well, is i am right, then two things:
1) if you really like him, then why are you moaning? do u be with him cuz he has a job and u expect him to buy something nice for u every after and then? Yes, a relationship should be giving and recieving, bla bla bla. but if you really like someone, you wont care!
2)if you are this fuss about him not giving you material stuff, then break up with him and get on with you life! But you choose to be with him, for 13 months! are you waiting for something in this 13 months? waiting for him to change or something? well i guess 13 months is long enough, and you should know who you are with by now..
good luck
heartless
2006-12-11 07:09:28 · answer #4 · answered by heartless_916 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well i can kind of sympathise - ive been with my boyfriend quite some years now and he hasnt ever bought me a birthday present or xmas present!!!!! But he does take me out on special occasions and he buys things like take aways when we stay in - always buys my drinks when we're out etc etc.... to be honest i have gotten used to not expecting a present lol - its a bit rubbish but u DO get used to it!!!! Oh - he once nicked a red rose outta someones garden on our way home from my birthday P*ss up.....does that count???? I think alot of men find it hard to buy gifts - let alone original and unique gifts so maybe leave catalogues open (pages of things u like - circled with highlighter pens lol) at appropriate times - ie a week or so before birthdays...??! oh and dont buy him a gift - why not suggest to him that cos u both didnt get chance to buy pressies etc for ur anniversary, you could pool funds and go out for meal, night out etc???
2006-12-11 06:56:13 · answer #5 · answered by *~_**_Jester_**_Girl_**_~* 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My ex millked me for thousands over a three year relationship, and I was stupid enough to do it - now she's walked away with a hell of a better life than she ever had at my expense and being taken for a ride leaves you feeling very empty and bitter!
I'm not criticising you for wanting recognitition or even possibly equating love / feelings with gifts but if you feel as you do now, then nothing is going to make it better and you will feel bitter and twisted - get it sorted or walk away!
Trust me, there's no middle ground on this one - both people need to be appreciated and money won't do it for long!
Good luck!
2006-12-11 08:18:02 · answer #6 · answered by coslindasaid 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
listen. it doesn't take money to be loved. he cant buy your love and if that is the case then maybe you shouldn't be together. i have now been in a realationship for 3 years and we love each other very much. he drives as i dont have a car and he buys me the odd occastional CHOCOLATE BAR!!! what do you want from him a limo. he isn't your personal bacn account that you can access whenever you want. what are you, spoilt??? maybe he wants to show his love for you in different ways and not by buying you things!! grow up and realise that you can be having things bought for you all the time. and yes you may like being wined and dined so do alot of people, but maybe JUST MAYBE, thats not his thing??? ever thought about that!!!!
sorry but no sympathy, if its just money you want from him then i dont think your relationship will last!!!
2006-12-11 07:19:28 · answer #7 · answered by Kirsty N 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think to be honest your expecting far too much, if you can afford to buy him all those things why not buy yourself a gift. If you are basing your relationship on what he has or hasn't brought you then I think your probably not ready to be in a relationship, sorry I do wish you happiness though and merry christmas
2006-12-11 06:45:54 · answer #8 · answered by joanna b 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Gifts are worthless without meaning behind them. If he's a nice guy, be grateful you've got him, rather than moaning about the fact he doesn't spend loads of money on you. Gifts are much more fun to give, if you feel the recipient appreciates rather than expects them
2006-12-11 06:48:09 · answer #9 · answered by Tom :: Athier than Thou 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
a relationship is a two way thing not who buys who what...you sound very materialistic the idea is to go out with someone who will love you and make you happy not buy you the most expensive things
2006-12-11 06:53:39 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋