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How come you never hear anything about the 10th reindeer "Olive" ?
Olive ?
Yeah, you know, "Olive the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names"

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Why are women's breasts like a train set a kid gets at Christmas time ?
Because they were originally made for children but the father wants to play with them.

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Why doesn't Santa have any children ?
Because he only comes once a year, and when he does, it's down the chimney.

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Why is Christmas just like a day at the office ?
You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.

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How are a Christmas tree and a priest alike ?
They both have ornamental balls.

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What do the female reindeer do when Santa takes the male reindeer out on Christmas Eve ?
They go into town, and blow a few bucks.

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What's the difference between snowmen and snowladies ?
Snowballs.

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Why did the snowman have a smile on his face ?
Because the snowblower was coming down the block.

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The three wise men arrived to visit the child lying in the manger. One of the wise men was exceptionally tall, and bumped his head on the low doorway as he entered the stable.
"Jesus Christ!" he shouted.
Joseph said, "Write that down, Mary; it's better than Clyde!"

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During the recent Karpov-Kasparov world chess championships they came to an adjournment and left for their hotel. In the lobby of the hotel several chess enthusiasts could be heard bragging, "I could beat Karpov with no problem".
"Oh yeah, I could beat both of them at the same time."
"That's nothing, I could beat both of them blindfolded!"
Finally, the hotel manager had had enough and threw them all out of the hotel.
But why?" a bystander asked.
"Because," the manager replied "I hate ..."chess nuts boasting by an open foyer!"

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A Sunday School teacher of pre-schoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas season emphasis on His birth. He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred a long time ago, that He grew up, etc. So he asked his class, "Where is Jesus today ?"
Johnny raised his hand and said, "He's in heaven." Mary was called on and answered, "He's in my heart." and Robert, waving his hand furiously, blurted out, "I know! I know! He's in our bathroom!!!"

The whole class got very quiet, looked at the teacher, and waited for a response.
The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long seconds. He finally gathered his wits and asked Robert how he knew this. and Robert said, "Well.....every morning my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells 'Jesus Christ, are you still in there?'!"

2006-12-10 21:11:30 · 16 answers · asked by Kizzy_ 5 in Entertainment & Music Jokes & Riddles

16 answers

good..i like them

2006-12-10 21:17:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2 0

(m)

here some more x'mas jokes

What did Adam say on the day before Christmas ?
It's Christmas, Eve !

How do you make an idiot laugh on boxing day ?
Tell him a joke on Christmas Eve !

What do you have in December that you don't have in any other month ?
The letter "D" !

What does Father Christmas suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney ?
Santa Claustrophobia !

What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Eve ?
Black mail !

Who delievers cat's Christmas presents ?
Santa Paws !

Why does Father Christmas go down the chimney ?
Because it soots him !

Who delievers elephants's Christmas presents?
Elephanta Claus !

How many chimney does Father Christmas go down ?
Stacks !

Why is Santa like a bear on Christmas Eve ?
Because he's Sooty !

2006-12-10 21:36:32 · answer #2 · answered by mallimalar_2000 7 · 1 0

Twas the night in the previous Christmas--previous Santa became into p***** He stubborn out the elves and threw down his checklist. depressing little brats, ungrateful little jerks. I also have a very good concepts to scrap the full works! i've got busted my *** for d*** close to a 365 days, somewhat of "thank you Santa"--what do I pay attention? The previous woman b******reason I artwork late at night. The elves choose greater funds--The reindeer all combat. And purely while i assumed that issues might get greater helpful those a**holes from the IRS sent me a letter, they say I owe taxes--if that ain't d*** humorous Who the hell ever sent Santa Claus any funds? And the babies presently--all of them are the pits they choose the impossible--those mean little s**** I spent an entire 365 days making wagons and sleds Assembling dolls...Their palms, legs and heads I made a ton of yo yo's--No request for them, they choose computers and robots...they think of - i'm IBM! Flying for the duration of the air...dodging the timber Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees i'm quitting this interest there is purely no amusement i'm going to take a seat down on my fat a** and draw unemployment. there is not any Christmas this 365 days now you recognize the rationalization, i stumbled on me a blonde. i pass SOUTH for the season!

2016-10-18 02:36:06 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0 0

I know this isn't a question and I'm not answering I'm just making sure I can back to this because it is so funny.

2006-12-10 21:16:22 · answer #4 · answered by Dreamer 4 · 0 0

Ho Ho Ho Ti's the session to be jolly and they were all jolly good kizzy 10/10

2006-12-10 21:22:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

lmao some funny jokes there

thats my girl xxxxxxx

2006-12-11 02:45:27 · answer #6 · answered by ploppy pants 3 · 0 0

Santa's sex life is virtually non-existent.
He only comes once a year, but when he does he fills your stockings.

2006-12-10 21:15:15 · answer #7 · answered by Roy S 3 · 1 1

You are full of Christmas cheer !

2006-12-11 01:05:31 · answer #8 · answered by Scotty 7 · 0 0

Some of them r funny bt not that funny. it only made me smile not LOL.

2006-12-10 21:16:46 · answer #9 · answered by tickgal88 3 · 0 1

Brill LOL

2006-12-10 21:13:38 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

... you have the true spirit of Christmas Love them!

2006-12-11 04:05:24 · answer #11 · answered by queenmackerel 5 · 0 0

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