I have been self harming 4 1 yr now wot can I do?

Question

Whenever my parents find out they go mental I try and avoid them and hide my cuts or cut somewhere they won't c them wot can i do i need advice!!!

Answer 1

Don't cut yourself and tell them that what they are doing is causing you to hurt yourself. You need to talk to someone about it, like your best friend, your parents... somebody.

Answer 2

You need to stop self-harming. You need to replace it with other coping mechanisms, for example writing down how u feel or talking to a friend so u can release the feelings that build up inside you. Going to counselling is also a good way of building up other ways of coping. Self-harm really isn't a solution in the long run, you need to work out why you feel you need to self harm and then deal with the root cause - counselling is a good way to get to the bottom of things.

In the meantime, make a note of how long you go without self harming, then if you lapse, try to make the next period even longer. You can also try several methods to release the immediate need to cut: the 15 minute rule (when you feel the need to cut you tell yourself you're going to wait 15mins and then see how you feel, at the end of 15 mins you can decide to cut if you still feel the need or you can decide to go another 15 mins or you can decide you dont need to cut after all), try holding ice cubes until they melt, or pinging an elastic band against the area you want to cut, or just drawing red lines across where you want to cut.

I hope this helps :)

Answer 3

Go to your GP and ask if you can be reffered to counselling, There is plenty of help out there, but sometimes you have to nag and nag and do your own research about what is near you that you feel can help. Look up some sites also on coping with people who self harm and maybe print a few things off for your parents to read, try and tell them how you're feeling. I went through this when I lived with my parents and I have self harmed for 6 years now, I think it would have been helpful if my parents knew how to deal with it, I don't think there is enough information out there for people and parents get frustrated cause they care and don't know how else to deal with it.. There is a lot of distraction tips on some of the self harm sites as well. Everyone is different though, a site I really like is www.recoveryourlife.com there is an online chat room and many helpful pages.
Good Luck and God Bless.. Take care of yourself

Answer 4

Okay.
Well, firstly, do you want to stop self-harming?? That may sound like a silly question to people reading this, but most self-harmers out there will know what I'm talking about. You need to honestly be able to say that you want to stop, FOR YOURSELF. If you do, then that's great! Good on you for making the first step.
I know that you will get a lot of similar advice from people - this is just what my opinion, so don't feel you have to agree with everything I say.
A good idea is to speak to someone you know really well...your parents would be a good idea, but if they go mental I can sympathise with you, it can be really hard to approach them. But what about a friend?? Is there someone who you could talk to who, tell about it, who would try to understand?? They might be angry at first (I know mine were) but they do get over it if you're patient, I think it's just because they don't understand how someone could do that if they've never felt like that themselves. Just getting it all off your chest can help enormously.
I don't know what your situation is, I'm guessing you're still at school, sorry if I'm talking rubbish!!! If you are, it's not really recommended that you speak to them, because although schools are different, nearly all of them will want to have a "parent-pupil interview" which can be really uncomfortable. If you're really serious about fixing this, you can go and speak to your GP, or any doctor that you feel comfortable talking to about it. If you are under 16, however, they can still contact your parents. You can ask them to keep it confidential, some will, some won't, it just depends on your circumstances. I'm not trying to freak you out or anything, it's just that I found all this out the hard way. You can ask to be referred to a counsellor, as it's been going on for so long, or they may want to send you to a psychiatric nurse. The NHS waiting list goes on for about 10 years (or near enough) but they could refer you to a young people's service which will be much faster (mine was 10 weeks).
As for the actual cutting, there are several things you can do. Try distraction methods whenever you feel like cutting, like phoning a friend, going for a walk, any other kind of exercise, pinging an elastic band against your wrist, squeezing ice cubes in your hand (this is pretty good) using a red pen to leave "cuts", popping bubble wrap, etc etc. Anything which distracts you from the cutting is good. Again, if you're under 18, childline are fantastic, I use them a lot, just a helpful ear.
The only other thing I would say would be about the possibillty of scars. Since you've been cutting for a year, the scars, if you have any, should stilll be treatable. They're generally fixable for about two years after the cut has been made, although this varies. Try rubbing cocoa butter with vitamin E into them, when they have healed from scabs. Also using antiseptic when the cut is first made helps.
I'm not going to tell you just to stop cutting, I KNOW it dosen't work. But I wish you all the luck in the world and I know what it feels like. If you have enough determination you will get through this, and your parents will come round eventually. Please remember that YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Emily x

p.s - feel free to drop me an email [e-mail] if you want to sound anything off. I'm 17 by the way.

Answer 5

Oh my god, you're brave for admitting this on here!

Well I'm presuming you're not doing it in an obvious place if your parents haven't found out yet so you don't seem to be doing it for attention like most people.

Please go to your GP, a councellor, someone you can trust. Talk to them. It's a coping mechanism but it's not the best one to have. You could get an infection. It could get nasty, you'll have scars. You'll feel alone and strange because nobody else does it, but they do.

I hope you get better but this will not happen if you leave it. It won't sort itself out because it is habit forming and you need advice to get yourself out of the cycle.

You don't have to tell you parents, but I'm sure they'd be more worried than angry. Please just get help, or call childline if you have issues that you are frightened to discuss with someone face to face.

Hope you are okay. x

Answer 6

i was self harming a couple of years ago but i managed to stop. How i did this was go to firstly the school councillor, however she then refered me to go to my doctor and get some specialised councilling, which i then did and talking to her put my problems and issues into perspective. It was all done without my parents knowledge. Although they know now i can understand with the way you are feeling that you don't want them to know but atleast talk to someone being your sister, friend or your cousins aunties uncle! It doesnt matter who just to get thier support. But good luck in all you do and i hope you can get out of this place because it is not a nice place to be xxx

Answer 7

Well, you've already taken the first step by realising that you do need support and advice. Good for you! I am not going to pretend that I know what you are going through or why you are self harming because I don't. However, the best way forward is to see your doctor who can refer you to a specialist. Your doctor is not there to judge you but to help you so please don't worry about what he/she will think.

The other thing you need to do is to tell your parents. They are only angry because they care and are worried about you. Tell them that you are aware of this, that you are seeking help and would appreciate their support because you will need it to help you through the more difficult times. Surround yourself with people who love and care for you and if you start feeling the need to self harm then go to them for support.

Good luck! You've taken the first step.

Answer 8

Well you can go to mental health and get some help, cause i am telling you if you have only been cutting for a year, there is a good chance that they can find out why, and help you stop it, before it get too bad.

Answer 9

You need professional help.
I can tell you that maybe they made you believe that there's something wrong with you so you chose to agree by self-destroying you, or that you are just trying to draw some attention...
But those are superficial answers and you need something deeper.
Much deeper...
As the cut you do to yourself.
So, go to a professional doctor and talk,
talk until there's nothing else to say.
Go girl
Go

Answer 10

Stop cutting. There will come a time when you regret the fact that your body is covered in scars. You think now that you will remember every one and that they mean something but they don't. Imagine your future partners face when they realsie you are covered n scars. It's not cool. Go to a counsellor if you are having problems in your life and talk about it. I used to do it and I regret it most days when I look at my arms now. Think of your future.

Answer 11

hey hunny, ur not alone!!!
i had the same problem...still kinda do. my friend told the skool nurse though (who happens 2 be my mums best frend) and things went on from there.
i obviously dont kno ur parents but once their anger has faded they'll realise things. they'll prob be more angry at themselves then for not noticing you being like this...mine were.
if you can't face your parents at least plz go speak to a friend (if u haven't alredy), teacher, counselor, nurse...or any1 you trust. you need help hun. you can try to get through by urself but u'll just keep cutting or if u try to stop it will be REALLY hard. ur not alone in this world. there are people out there who can help u. take it from living proof (i.e. me) most places (definitly counselors) things are confidential. if ur not sure if it is ask the person. i'm sure they'll be truthful. they want to help u!
don't you want to stop having to hide things all the time, worrying if sum1 will see them. dont u want 2 at least be able 2 relax (even if its just a bit) around your own house??

if u want to stop alone there r various different things u can try. for example:
1.hold an ice cube-pain
2. snap elastic band around ur wirst-pain
3. draw all over urself wif red pen- look like it..u can see wat ur doin
4. wrap elastic band on ur finger tight, then take it off quickly- bit of pain but mainly feeling of release
5. google: stopping self harm- lots of helpful sites out there
each method helps in different ways, depending on y u do it chose one or try many or them all out.
if u cant totally stop try doing it less and not as bad to start with.

i can't make a desicion for u but i'd advise u 2 try and find sum help. u can always come 2 me if u want.
good luck.
email me hun if want...i can help if u dnt wanna face sum1....i know how u feel.
xoxox *hug* keep on goin!