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my 6 year old daughter wakes in the middle of the night to climb into my bed. i want to stop this before it becomes a habit. i've tried gentle talking, threaten to take her treats away and lectures to no avail. if i insist she does not get in my bed she has a major tantrum waking the 2 year old up then i'm worse off!!
any genuine ideas?

2006-12-10 20:04:57 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Family

28 answers

I was a nanny for 7 years. I found the best way to get kids to stay in bed is to put up a star chart. Tell your daughter that once she gets up to 5 stars (5 consecutive nights staying in bed), then she'll get a prize. The prize does not have to be big or expensive. Get her something that she enjoys..for example a colouring book, crayons, paint, a dress up outfit or instead of doing a full 5 nights at first, perhaps start with 1 night and work your way up, so do 1 night in bed..prize is the wings of a fairy outfit, then she has to stay in bed for 3 nights..then she gets the skirt, keep adding one extra thing on with each extra couple of nights she stays in bed. Children are always testing their limits with their parents and you HAVE to be consistent.

If you'd rather not do the 'prize' thing, then as soon as she comes into your bed at night, you need to take her back to her bed...she will scream her head off for possibly a couple of nights...and the 2 year old may be upset aswell, but in the long run, your daughter will realise that you are being serious, the limit has been set for her and she will know that she cannot keep coming into your bedroom. It will be hard for you AND her for a while, but it WILL register with her that you are consistent and that this is the new way things are going to work and she will realise her limit.

Be prepared to stick to it and when she is crying and you feel sad for her or you are just too tired to get up for the fifth time in the night...stick to your guns!! It will work!!

I wish you all the best!!

2006-12-10 20:16:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5 0

She's already got the habit of coming into your bed at night. Keep to a going to bed routine to reassure her, if she gets up take her straight back to her bed and explain to her that if you don't get your sleep, you'll be a grumpy mum the next day. If she has a tantrum, explain to her that it's ok but it doesn't change anything. Don't give in and don't give the tantrum any attention. She'll tire herself to sleep. She will soon get into the habit of sleeping through the night in her bed.

2006-12-11 06:23:59 · answer #2 · answered by Stef 4 · 0 0

My 3 year old daughter does this most nights too and we always take her back to her own room. She has a tantrum too but luckilly she goes back to sleep fairly quickly. When we put her back in we always give her her favourite toy to cuddle. The worse thing to do is and shout as this only makes the tantrums go on for longer. ( won't do that again).
I hope that you will be reporting the answer that you got from Satan. I'm sorry that some people are that sick to write things like that.

2006-12-10 20:27:22 · answer #3 · answered by evs 3 · 2 0

have u got a little nightlight in her room....or try a reward chart for if she is still in her bed in the morning, then a gift at the end of the week....the only other thing is just keep putting her back without talking to her.....it could take a few nights, but it will work. I had the same with all mine, and they are 15, 13 and 11 now.....i think the 11 year old stopped around 6.
good luck

2006-12-10 20:08:07 · answer #4 · answered by tizzy 5 · 2 0

you need to be firm and try to ignore her tantrums. you could sit with her until she goes back to sleep and then each night she does it sit further and further away from her bed until you are out of the room. it's obviously harder as she is waking up the younger child. do not let her into your bed as you will be stuck doing this for sooo many years. My mum made the mistake of letting me in I did it until I was about 8!!!! No matter how tired you are dont let her in - get in with her if you need to. Perhaps when you are putting her back in bed you could give her something interesting to keep with her. My son usually wants a little car or his tennis ball. If I think of anything else I will add some more to this later.

Best of luck!!

2006-12-10 20:11:47 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Maybe you should find the cause of this behavior. Try to talk to her about it on her own level. Be smooth about it, if the subject gets too loaded she might cramp up. Slowly work up to that subject. You could also ask her to make a drawing about it for mommy.
And don't punish her for her behavior too much. Try to reward her if she stays in her own room for a full night. And be persistent about her not coming to sleep in your bed, even though it's hard at first. It will pay off later.
I hope it works out.

2006-12-10 20:18:45 · answer #6 · answered by StormyWeather 3 · 0 0

Make sure that there is nothin in her room that is frightening at night. Keep her room interesting. Do not make afternoon naps a habit. Do not threaten becaus children hate it when parents sound superior. Try locking your door. Or maybe even hers.Do not give in to tears. Get her a teddy bear or something to keep her company.

2006-12-10 23:40:01 · answer #7 · answered by Morningdew 3 · 0 0

you need to stick to a routine. as in. if you decide she isnt coming into your bed then she isnt coming into your bed. this may take a wk or so, and if she wakes the little one up then its summat you have to live with. talk to her in the day and ask her why she needs to come to bed with you. is she doing it out of fear of something? does she want your attention if she feels the little one gets more? this mite help. but whatever the reason, you need to be firm and stick with it. if you give in after you start to be firm then it wont work and youll be in for a long ride, stick with it and she'll learn. try the sticker chart thing. for each nite she stays in her own bed she gets a sticker. but and i cant stress this enough. be firm. it does work, i've done it myself

2006-12-10 20:18:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

rigidity ought to nicely be a terrible element; she feels maximum mushy in her mattress. it truly is her secure position. What you want to attempt to do is get to initiate feeling "save" some position else. Having her bounce from her save position each and each and every of the time to say the coastline or park or mall is complicated. purely have her go into the residing room for somewhat on a daily basis. carry her pillow and blanket and lay on the settee; no longer lengthy purely an hour or so in the initiating. Then slowly amplify the era of time she spends off the mattress. tell her your plan and clarify to her that she does have a call yet in a way she doesn't both. She will be at liberty in her mattress yet there is circumstances she probable needs she had extra of a social existence or extra of a existence outdoors of her mattress. it truly is purely operating at the same time with her to get that. And going to a set isn't the first step both; going from being by your self virtually each and each and every of the time to being with a set of strangers is a large step too; see in case you need to get her into one on one counseling. initiate small; some circumstances a month. it truly is all about operating at the same time with her to modify the popular of her existence; to make her favor to have a existence outdoors of her mattress. tell her that she will't stay in her mattress always, she needs a existence and he or she needs a existence. no longer that she doesn't have one she purely needs one out of her mattress. it truly is purely significant that you do not rush issues. artwork at the same time with her to create a time-line the position she will sometime surely go out of the abode and favor to do it. infant steps.

2016-11-25 20:19:41 · answer #9 · answered by wilcoxen 4 · 0 0

Keep taking her back to her own bed, leave a night light on, don't shout, keep calm it may cause a few sleepless nights but she will get the idea, and by the way i am disgusted with Satan answer, he should be banned. good luck

2006-12-10 20:43:14 · answer #10 · answered by Sue C 2 · 1 0

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