Is it true, the longer your single, the more content you become with in yourself and by yourself that it will harder it is to let some in?
2006-12-10 19:01:25 · 9 answers · asked by denise 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It's not difficult to let someone into your life, irrespective of how long you've been single. The big change is the boundaries that you place: whereas a young (or old, but recently single) adult that jumps into relationship after relationship will be willing to let each contact become a significant part of their life; adults that end up spending some time alone have to learn that they are responsible for their own happiness and success.
Being single isn't about contentment, but rather acceptance, and it's usually a very hard lesson to learn. Most people jump into and out of a few relationships, some ending badly, making mistakes, working through fixer-uppers, users, and doormats before learning that you have to be comfortable in yourself before you can be with another human being, but that comfort isn't contentment, and it doesn't limit your ability to connect with another person... in fact, it increases the depth and scope of the commitment that you can offer.
2006-12-10 19:30:08 · answer #1 · answered by Sage B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People do get more settled in their own ways and it becomes harder for them to share and compromise. But that doesn't mean someone new can't/won't be able to break through. Like a lot of things, it will just take work on both parties part.
2006-12-10 19:46:55 · answer #2 · answered by Radio Diva 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont think so... being single for a long time doesnt add any feelings of contentment for yourself.. because how can you be contented if you are lonely right? the things that add contentment in a single person might be his achievements in life that he got when he's single...
and its not that you are really contented being single that it is hard to let someone in... maybe you're just scared of getting hurt in love thats why its hard for you to accept and let someone in.. thus, making you a sinle for a long period of time..
...just my opinions.. .. this is a really good question.. thanks
2006-12-10 19:10:10 · answer #3 · answered by pamz~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you said is true, because a person who's single for a long time can get used to having her own way, doing whatever, whenever she wants, but it still depends on the person. Some get used to it and liked it, some hate it and get more desperate.
2006-12-10 19:09:03 · answer #4 · answered by stormsandblues 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Denise, yes it is harder to let people in but it also gives you a chance to apologize things, how i know I've been single for the last 21/2yrs, and its hard for me to trust people cause i feel they ll only hurt me, i really hope thisll help you out a little.
2006-12-10 19:21:19 · answer #5 · answered by ish 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe it is true. I have been single all my 45 yrs. I have grown so independent that I think it would be hard to change my ways. As far as letting someone in, it is hard, a person gets set in their ways.
2006-12-11 04:44:07 · answer #6 · answered by T_I_GG_E_R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do think you become more content within yourself, I also think it's more about the older you get, the pickier you become. You are wiser and can see through peoples BS sooner and are less likely to tolerate it.
2006-12-10 19:15:31 · answer #7 · answered by The Charmed One 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, definately not. At first when I became boyfriendless I wanted to be single and just hook up all the time (which i love doing) ... now, i kind of want stability again--a boyfriend, someone whose always there to care... haha
I still love my hookups though. :P
2006-12-10 19:26:27 · answer #8 · answered by coolchick 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't think so....when the right one comes, you'll let them in naturally i think.
2006-12-10 19:05:46 · answer #9 · answered by Doc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋