How to love myself? How to improve my self-esteem?

Question

my problem is that i have very low self esteem. i am 20 yr old gal. i am a gud student, quite pretty, tall, slim, n stuff like that. my family is quite rich n i current studying in uni, 2yr law. i m quite satisfied with my life. but i still i m a very depressed person. wen my pals dont call me, the guy i like dont bother calling me i feel so depressed. i always hold myself reponsible for things like this. i always feel shy n always manage to identify faults in myself no matter watever i do or however i do it. i just dont respect myself n instead of concentrating on my achievements i always focus on my failures. wat can i do? i have been like this ever since i can remember n i think its getting worse. could anyone plss help me by sharing their those little pearls of wisdom? tnx.

Answer 1

I really would suggest therapy or group counseling... I would imagine there is an underlying problem. And it helps to know youre not the only one. This is the first step.

Also, daily self affirmations... look in the mirror, and tell yourself these good things. Write love letters to yourself. Talk POSITIVE. When you find yourself thinking negative-- correct yourself.

Lastly, we must learn to look at things differently. THe more you look at the negative, the more the negative increases. The more you focus on failure, the more you will. THoughts have that kind of power over you. Beyond that, belief follows action-- at first, you may not believe the things you say and do, but the more you implement it, the sooner you will find yourself believing as you act. Thats basic psychology.

If you would accept it, a good program like alcoholics anonymous can also help. Hey, its a place where you learn to live, not to stop drinking. And IT WORKS>

Good luck, and chin up...

Answer 2

The best thing you can do is to get out and volunteer yourself to a good cause (or two!). Feed the homeless, teach someone how to read, read to the elderly, just get out and help someone! Depression and self-loathing are very self-absorbed states (oh, me! poor me!)...you need to make yourself so busy helping others that you don't have the time or the energy to overanalyze your boring self. Also, you will be around other dynamic people who will more than likely enrich and encourage you. And, worst case, you will see that you don't have it so bad off (especially after you feed homeless).

Also, daily physical activity, such as a brisk walk outdoors, or something else you love, is a great mood elevator.

At least you have recognized the issue and are asking about how to change it. Self-esteem comes from a series of small accomplishments over time. No one can ever "tell" you the words that give you self-esteem. You have to earn it.

Best wishes for you!

Answer 3

well, you have to start small. you must point out positive things about yourself and learn to like, then love them. it is about changing the way you see things--- looking at the positives more than the negatives. it might take quite a while to really make such changes, but it is well worth the wait! you WILL still have your moments of insecurity & harsh criticisms, but all humans feel that way from time to time.

sometimes, depression exaggerates lower self-esteem. in some cases, medication/counseling is necessary. depression has no prejudices. money and success do not buy happiness. happiness does come from within. i would suggest a real mental make-over. perhaps a few therapy sessions with a professional would help you to work on a fresh outlook on life.

good luck!

Answer 4

Pick up a book called the Your Erroneous Zones by Wayne Dyer, he also wrote the Power of Intention, but I would get the first book. I read it and it was great, it helped me recognize, realize, and change the negative self talk that I was having. It made a real difference, and I believe it can make a difference for you too.
When you change the way you think, you can change your feelings. Good luck!

Answer 5

God would not choose you till you study to end your suffering for your self! existence is a experience and it teaches us instructions continually. And those instructions are many times disguised as painful circumstances or painful recommendations. So i'm (VERY) sorry on the subject of how you're feeling good now, besides the undeniable fact that that's going to pass, that's going to! All i will recommend is which you do what many human beings do while confronted with emotions of low self-nicely worth and that's here... * end comparing your self to others, * settle for your self, * save a mag, and checklist your recommendations (stable and undesirable) and * Set some objectives do this lower back and lower back and you will locate that your computerized recommendations of negativity in the direction of your self will slowly start to recommendations of appreciation. have faith me, once I inform you which you're unique! :-) And God is pleased with you, as you're! :-) stable success, and take care! playstation And in case you're extreme approximately 'ending issues' i've got published a link to an quite inspirational link stated as 'Suicide... examine this commonplace'

Answer 6

It sounds to me that you have very high standards - which is a good thing. Those standards are what drive you to accomplish and to succeed. Snag is many others have lower standards, so are prone to disappoint you. Finding flaws in oneself is difficult for anyone other than the arrogant to avoid, harder for you than most. In my University days, there were counselors we could go to over issues like this. Seems you may just need a teeeeny bit of help to achieve a healthy balance is all.

Answer 7

I suggest humility. Low-self esteem is, in some cases, a misplaced form of self-righteousness in which you beat yourself up each time you see that you do not match the perfect image you think you are. The problem is the self-righteousness, though, not the faults.