My fiancee and I share a small 2 bedroom home together with my 6 year old daugther. His mother and her boy friend had their own place until they lost it in a flood and they been renting and rooming with their friends and now that they broke up she has decided that she is moving with us, and I sympathise and I always have liked her , but just dont see how the living situation will work out, I think they should have had flood insurance, she is 63 years old and dont have a car to even get around any more and in my opion I just think she needs her own life and peace of mind, I feel for her, but she just seems so independant and I want to have my own personal life , have you ever been in this situation, how did you handle the situation or how did/ would you deal with it?
2006-12-10 18:31:39 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Look I know this is not an easy situation for you. But thats your husbands mother and you have to respect his wishes. Your in law is going through tough time right now. If it was your mother you would want the doors of your house open wouldn't you? Be patient and think of this as a temporary thing and take it day by day. Try not to be judgemental because maybe one day the tables might be turned and you will need help.
2006-12-10 18:52:50 · answer #1 · answered by ♪♫♫♪ 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I had a terrible mother-in-law. So, in my situation, I would make sure that the barn was semi-clean, so she could spend most of her time out there with the rest of her family, the a**es. I don't think it would cost much to keep her out there, just a little fresh hay every once in a while. She could get her some water from the faucet and fill one of the buckets out there for her drinks. She acts like an animal most of the time, here's her chance to live like one.
On the other hand, if you get along with your mother-in-law, you are one of the lucky ones. I would make sure to tell her that your place is really small, but if she doesn't mind, you certainly don't. Tell her you will do everything you can to help her move in and get as comfortable as she can. It really sounds like her life h as changed so much for the bad lately, she just wants to be around her family for support and love. If both of you or all of you work at keeping everything at peace, you could all have a great life living together. You could have an instant baby sitter and I'm sure she would love it. Just don't take advantage of that situation too much. . And your daughter could grow up getting to really know her grandmother. How often does that happen these days!!!!???!?
2006-12-10 19:08:22 · answer #2 · answered by country girl 006 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
no, i have never been in that situation and pray it never happens, though i admit i have thought about it from both ends of the stick so to speak. i would never want one of my family or my inlaws family to live with my husband any me. i would never want to live with any of them. the answer why is because of the exact same reasons you describe. it makes me feel selfish and ashamed but i'm sure that other people feel the same way. i can't help it. i have survived this life so far on my own, one way or another, and i don't want to be responsible for anyone elses anymore. i have raised my children, my parents and inlaws are alive and well, but things in life change, so i cannot rest assured that things will stay this way because i could not put them in the street if they had no where to go...the answer is not easy. all you can do is follow your heart, do the right thing. there are senior citizen housing options for her and you can make sure she is close to transportation. most senior citizen and retirement homes have some sort of transportation options. you don't say if you are able to help her financially or not, but if you can, it is a good beginning. you say she has a boyfriend. he should take care of her and leave your life up to you. you could help them with a new start, but she is not a child to be supported. you have a daughter. take care of yourself and her 1st!
2006-12-10 18:47:42 · answer #3 · answered by iwondersoiask 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think she deserves the help right now.Just think of your own mother.What if your mother was in the same situation,you wouldn't let her be homeless,would you.?It helps that she is nice and in depended.That means she would also want to get on her feet and have her own life.As long as she doesn't interfere with your life,i think it wouldn't be a such a bad idea.Some day god will repay your kindness back to you.
2006-12-10 18:42:21 · answer #4 · answered by avavu 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
put crime scene tape around the yard throw a bunch of old newspapers in the yard and stuff your mail box full of old letters then stay with the neighbors for a while until she gives up and finds a place of her own if she moves in your marriage is over trust me the symbol for trouble is 2 women under 1 roof
hey what can I say my mother-in-law and I got along great until she moved in with us "temporarily" then there was the time my own mother came to visit my live in girl friend and I this leads me to the conclusion that it will be a day when a guy with a long tail carrying a pitchfork and sporting a permanent sunburn puts in a order for about 20 billion pairs of ice skates before I will EVER let that happen again !!!
2006-12-10 18:38:56 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
Well,she could stay with you for a little while until she finds her feet. If she is still fit and healthy, there is no reason why she should stay with you for too long. Im guessing that your fiance would really appreciate it if you could be as accomodating and helpful as possible. However, after a while he is going to want his space too.
Maybe check out what her options are before she comes to stay, so that you are ready when it comes the right time (the right time being what is best for your fiance and daughter) for her to leave.
All the best!
2006-12-10 18:39:09 · answer #6 · answered by its_just_me 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
i think of which you're able to desire to have a communique on your destiny husband and tell him the way you experience. If he loves you sufficient he will comprehend the place you're comming from and out of understand will then could desire to talk together with his mom (your spouse's mom) on the subject of how you experience. yet i could desire to furnish you with a warning it will be incredibly demanding when you consider that he's a mama's boy and there is not something you're able to do to interrupt that.
2016-10-14 10:50:51 · answer #7 · answered by rosen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to feel for everyone but you also need to let them know how you feel. But one day you need to think that you might be in the same way and need her so be kind
2006-12-10 18:39:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I would move out
2006-12-10 21:21:44 · answer #9 · answered by Terry H 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
STOP BEING SELFISH AND HELP THE LADY OUT
2006-12-10 20:45:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋