Is it normal for your life and self to seem lame and fake?

Question

I was bullied for a few years a while back, and I changed alot because I was so desparate to fit in. Now it seems like everything I do is lame, and acted out in a way because I feel stupid being myself, nothing seems to come naturally anymore. Its like I don't even have an identity anymore, I'm just some screwed up teenage girl. Is it normal to feel lame and ashamed about your behaviour, identity and life?What should I do to feel natural again being myself, and reforming my good self-image?

(I don't do shrinks, they scare me!)

Answer 1

Congratulations, you are one step closer to figuring out a great mystery in life: The majority of fashion, popular music and activities, etc. are manufactured by corporate interests in order to turn an ever-increasing profit. In other words, there is absolutely nothing useful or worthwhile about being popular. The high school years are hell when you try to live according to such principles, though. However, if there are even a few people who also see this, then you can be greatly strengthened by having a few friends who understand.

I wish I had more material written available (I have only begun to write), but I have two small websites that are probing into the problem you describe:

http://www.laboratorymike.com
http://activismlabs.mgtow.net

There is also a group known as the Men Going Their Own Way (http://www.mgtow.net/), but it is mainly a men's thing. If you can find one of the MGTOW forums, they are a pretty good group and I recommend them. You can send an email to [e-mail] if you have questions. There are likely other good groups of people you can get to know, if you look for them.

Apart from that, I would also recommend reading through, say, the books 1 John and Romans from the Bible also. I'd also recommend going to church somewhere, but it is so difficult to find a good church that I am also wary about making such a recommendation. What I can say for certain, though, is be wary, and do not be blown over by the world or the popularity contests therein. It's a scam, and if you manage to find a few others who realize this also, things can go surprisingly well.

Good luck on your searching. The only other thing to say is... there is no "yourself" to find. You are the sum total of influences upon you, and your beliefs, and you will never find yourself if you try to "find yourself."

Hope that wasn't too cryptic.

Answer 2

When you're young all you want is to fit in so you try things that will make it happen...everyone does it so its nothing to be ashamed of. How old are you now? It's never too late to be the person you really want to be...if your in High School it will be hard, but maybe distance yourself from your "friends" and when you get to college (if you decide to go...) then make a name for yourself...act like yourself and you'll be happy. Don't worry about what anyone else thinks of you...what matters is how you feel.

I suggest just thinking about the things that make you happy and concentrating on that...eventually things will come naturally...maybe for now just work on school. But don't let anyone tell you how you should be...be who your most comfortable with and you'll be just fine. The only friends worth having, are the ones that like you for who you are, not someone you pretend to be.

Answer 3

First of all, try to forgot of your past and start new. It's pretty much expected that you'd feel "lame"- who wouldn't be after being bullied? Try to find a new hobby- maybe a new sport, learning web design, or something that will take your mind off of stress, even if it's just temporary mind reliever. Find an area of you that can make you proud of who you are to make your self esteem higher.