How do I explain death and dying to my 5 year old daughter?

Question

My daughter's hampster just died and she doesnt understand that he will not be coming back because he died. She cried a couple times and seems to think that he will "get alive again tomorrow". What would be the best way to explain death to a 5 year old child without scaring her and bringing more tears on. It breaks my heart to see my little angel cry.

Answer 1

My husbands dad just died a few months ago and on my husbands side we have 4 nephews. I had looked all over the web for a book to explain death to children and found quit a few on amazon.com. But what I am getting at is there was a book that a preacher recommended about death and it explained it with animals and nature, I don't remember the name of it but it had Dragon Flies in the title. I did look on amazon.com and I found this book for you MY PET DIED (LET'S MAKE A BOOK ABOUT IT) BY: RACHEL BIALE....It has 2 reviews that all have 5 stars So you could try that rout. And she should be told about death I don't believe she is too young, she isn't too young because it is upsetting her. She knows something is wrong and it will only make it worse to try to ignore the question, that will only bring up more questions like... Why isn't mommy telling me what is wrong? ect... ~ Good Luck ~

Answer 2

You can start off by speaking of lifecycles of things that are alive. Explain that flowers only live a very short time, some plants live a little longer, hamsters live only a few years, but people live a long long time. Depending one you beliefs, you may say to her that “Heaven needed her hamster to help with all of the baby hamsters.”

The best thing you can do now is to empathize with her about her loss. "I know it is really hard for you. I can tell that you're very sad about this. You must miss your hamster so much. You want it back. It’s hard for you that she can’t come back.” Let her grieve. You can even bury the pet and have her make a tombstone.

There are several good children's books that talk about death. Lifetimes-Bryan Mellonie, I Miss You-Pat Thomas, I’ll Always Love You-Hans Wihelm are a few of my favorites. Give your daughter a little extra love and support. Hope this helps!

Answer 3

We recently lost our son last year at 5 months, and it was hard on us all. explaining it to our daughter she didn't understand really but she knows that he is not coming back after not seeing him for a while. Your daughter will gradually understand after not seeing the hamster anymore. Just talk to her and be there for her. And let her know that he has gone to a better place, death is always hard on no matter what age you are.

Answer 4

There are children's books out there that help to explain in the way of a story. The hard part it trying to eplain how they went to heaven and the body is still here. I explained it to my nephew this way. I told him that people spend their lives inside of a body. This body is what helps them get around and do things. However, this body wears out and sometimes gets hurt where it cannot be fixed. That is when the soul goes to heaven. In heaven, they get a new body that never gets old, wears out, or breaks. It is perfect! He gave me that little looks that said, "????" So, being the teacher that I am, I decided to associate it with cars (which is what he was into). I said that bodies wear out like cars or break, and people have to get new ones.
If the car idea does not work, some of the books are wonderful. Best of luck.

Answer 5

When my daughter was four, she lost five family members/family pets in about six months. But, we just told her that they are now her angels in heaven. Get a helium balloon, and have your daughter write a note to the hamster. Then have her let the balloon go, and tell her he will get it up in heaven. We do this about once a year and write notes to everyone we know in heaven.

She is NOT too young, she understands completely. The more you reassure her he is ok, the better she will feel. My daughter says she sees her grandmother sometimes. I let her talk about it, I don't tell her no or freak out. IF it is possible, I don't want her to loose that abililty.

Answer 6

In the last year my daughter lost an aunt, a grandfather, and a close friend of the family. It has been really hard, as she is 5 too. The main thing we have told her is that they are in heaven with Jesus. The other thing we do is say a prayer to talk to our loved ones. She has gotten better about not crying, though all of us do cry for our loved ones.

Answer 7

It's a difficult situation....I explained the meaning of death to my girls before they experience a lost of someone....your daughter already experienced a lost.. it will be hard for her to accept death...
I think in your situation I would buy a new hamster and make a story up like ...your hamster is gone but it did not want to let you alone; so it sends you it's little cousin...you can compare those hamster ..talk about the old one etc. ... it will help her getting over her feelings while being busy with the new one...
Good luck to you!

Answer 8

Children below age 7 often do not understand death. Its is best to give them time, because this is something known eventually. if not from before. Your daughter is sad and wouldn't understand at this time.
Try not to force her to understand, what I did was saying something less hurting like " Its gone in eternal sleep, and it will not wake up". Something that is less hurting.

Maybe the article will help you.

Answer 9

There is really no way to tell her that will not make her cry more. But, she IS only 5, and this will pass. When she's older, she may not even remember this whole thing. Do it the best you can, even if she crys, she will get over it. (I hope that doesn't sound mean or anything)

Answer 10

You explain what is death by showing some incidents it may be even insects in your house.And explain relating the same with your goodness and comparing with God home or stars in the sky.She will understand.