i've been sexually active for 3 years now. but i never have had an orgasm. I never told my bf, b/c i don't want to hurt his feelings. but doing you think by telling him would help me? We lost our virginities to each other, and we are still together. Would I hurt his feelings by telling him this?
2006-12-10 17:22:01 · 16 answers · asked by Deesa 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Masturbate. It helps you to figure out what you like and what feels good to you. Then you can tell your boyfriend to do those things. A lot of women don't have orgasms easily.
2006-12-10 17:27:14 · answer #1 · answered by Laura M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am assuming by "never had an orgasm", you mean "never had an orgasm during intercourse" - which is not exactly uncommon in women. Be honest and tell him. If he takes it the wrong way, then that's on him, but it's not anyones fault.
What you do after that is up to you. There are other methods (for women) to achieve orgasm besides intercourse. Do some solo research first, and find out what and where feels good. (I am told a long, hot bath is a good venue for 'self-help' sessions.)
Once you have an idea what's needed, it's up to you and your boyfriend to open up the lines of communication and explore some. Find some quiet time with your boyfriend in a relaxing setting and get down to instructing him about what makes you feel good. (And don't stress about it - you might be suprised how 'in the way' your brain gets when you're stressed.)
While you may get self-conscious about 'taking control', that will pass once your confidence grows. Trust me - we mere males don't read minds, and appreciate the instruction and feedback. To be honest, we love any excuse to get our hands all over a naked woman. ;)
2006-12-11 01:40:56 · answer #2 · answered by keltarr 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You would probably hurt his feelings.
My suggestion? If you have never had an orgasm, ever, not even, ah, during alone time, would be to get a good quality vibrator and try it yourself.
Once you are over that barrier and have had one, you should be able to help yourself achieve orgasm easier when the two of you are having intercourse. It will give you a better idea of what exactly it takes for you to come, what to ask him for, what state of mind, etc. If you can't achieve orgasm with a vibrator, you might want to consider talking to your doctor or a therapist. There could be a larger underlying problem.
Also? Get some more emphasis on foreplay, and perhaps oral every now and then. Most women do have trouble acheiving orgasm thru vaginal stimulation alone.
2006-12-11 01:32:12 · answer #3 · answered by Jes 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You poor girl! You are so missing out but that is perfectly normal a lot of women have this problem. I would tell him. Communication in a relationship is so important. Plus maybe he will try harder to give you one.
I would suggest Clitoral stimulation by yourself at 1st then try working up to this with your partner. Buy some Clitoral Enhancement gel and a silver bullet Rub the gel until you get a tingling and throbbing sensation then use the bullet on your clitoris. If you are not sure where this is get a book called Tickle Your Fancy by Sadie Allison. It has diagrams and pictures of where your erogenous zones are and how to stimulate your clitoris to cause an orgasm.
Then once you get use to that try to talk your bf into using a c-ring with a clitoral stimulator.
Ways he can stimulate you are thru oral sex and maybe you can get him to use a bullet on you. Also I can give you more infomation if you want to email me at kimmy9178@ yahoo.com. I do Athena's Home Novelty Parties my website is www.athenasbykim.com I can answer any questions you have and help you make the right choice if you are thinking about getting a toy. Also check out www.ticklekitty.com that is the author of Tickle Your Fancy's site and www.duckydoolittle.com she is awesome and she has great sex tips as well.
2006-12-11 01:40:32 · answer #4 · answered by kimmy9178 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would mention it. Try saying that you are not sure you have had one of those explosion orgasms you hear people talk about.... and dont come right out and say that you haven't had one at all. If you and him have only been with each other and you don't experiemtn much then the odds are there is alot more exploring to do until you find what gets you off. Good luck, have fun... and use protection!!!!
2006-12-11 01:25:10 · answer #5 · answered by Me 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a very sensitive issue but honesty is the best in this case. Yes, his ego may be bruised but if he loves you he will be willing to do everything to make you happy. You deserve to have a happy sex life. One way to tell him is that it is not his fault(and it's not).YOU are responsible for your orgasm hot he! How to have it is a different issue. It makes sense to have an appointment or two with a sex therapist together with your boyfriend and they will teach you how to do it. DO NOT WAIT! The longer you wait the more difficult it is to tell the truth. And truth will set you free!! Good luck!!
2006-12-11 01:47:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the problem is that maybe you do not know what makes you have an orgasm? I think you should get a vibrator or trying experimenting with yourself to see what makes you tick. Once you do that you will know what your partner is doing that is not helping you reach your goal-- (orgasm). Then you should talk to him or direct him. I know this will work.
2006-12-11 01:30:00 · answer #7 · answered by Denise G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it probably will but it shouldnt. men's egos are easlily bruised about sex. if you want to have an orgasm then you need to talk to him about it. not to be perverted or anything but you might want to try it by yourself because then you can understand your self better and know what you like so you can tell him what to do. that will save you from hurting his feelings. and he'll never know
2006-12-11 01:26:22 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
the exact thing happened n is happening to me we lost our virginities together and everything you said happen to me but one time i did tell him and it did hurt his feelings and i felt really bad i dont think you should tell him but you should try different things like role play etc to excite you, it worked for me i do still feel bad till this day about telling him because he felt less than a man n it hurt his ego so yeah dont do the same mistake i did cuz he still brings it up till this day
2006-12-11 01:27:05 · answer #9 · answered by 805 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes it would hurt his ego a bit but he gets his Now you have to get yours. Tell him and make him give you one before he can get his. My girlfriend likes to be on top and not on me down there if you know what I mean....
2006-12-11 01:25:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋