I have been married for 5 years. I have suffered great emotional and mental abuse from the man who I believed love me up until recently. He perfectly matches the abuser profile and shows no mercy when it comes to me and the children. He is Pakistani and claims he is a muslim, but he acts nothing like the Quran and hadith orders. Before certain events took place, he kept cursing me and calling me a whore for having women friends and kept calling me a lesbian. He also keeps trying to force me to quit my job which is perfect because I can set my own schedule and the kids can go with me. He is also angry that I am graduating from college and only "allowed" me to go because he was sure I would fail or quit because "you never finish anything you start".
How can a man treat his wife so wrongly and refuse to show any kind of love for her or their son? He does everything for our daughter, but becuase our son has a seizure disorder he hates them. How can a "muslim" husband treat his
2006-12-10 17:16:24 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
wife so coldly? I did end up cheating, but becuase I was sick of being accused of something I never did and figured I might as well go ahead since he was just going to keep it in his head I was doing so anyway. I don't understand why men are so threatened by a woman's success and the fact that a woman will not die if they are not with a man. What is it with Pakistani men that they have this need to act like they hate their wives? Not just my husband, but the majority I saw. I have been to Pakistan, it's like having a wife is shameful and embarassing.
2006-12-10 17:18:17 · update #1
Another thing, I did tell him that if he wanted to act like he was in Pakistan with a Pakistani wife, then he should take his sorry behind back there and get one and stay there. He said he was going to make OUR country a "little Pakistani". I told him I was reporting him for terrorism.
2006-12-10 17:23:04 · update #2
it doesn't surprise me that he treats you and the boy this way. he is a coward. you guys are a threat to him and all he has to defend himself are words that hurt. don't take it. leave him. take your children and go to a safe house. you can find one in your area in the phone book or a newspaper, perhaps even on line, but probably just a phone number. no matter what you do, leave him. abuse starts verbally and escalates to violence. believe me. please. do not let him know you are on here, no matter what. keep it to yourself. he will not approve. he will make you pay. get help, leave him. God speed.
2006-12-10 17:25:15 · answer #1 · answered by iwondersoiask 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is really sad, my dear young lady.
Why do our English ladies get fooled by the Pakis, I'll never know. This isn't the first case that I've heard about and I'm really beginning to support the movement to remove them from England.
Please leave this man immediately, young lady.If he's living in your house, like most of these Pakis usually are, call the Police and have him evicted and file for a divorce. If he hasn't already been naturalized, I've no doubt that he'll be deported.
I'll pray for your son and you, my dear.
May God Bless you.
2006-12-10 17:43:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are obviously stuck with an abuser who thinks nothing of you in particular and women in general.Such men are basically devoid of any morals or finer instincts and the only thing they pursue is their own ego.They are so unsure of themselves that they constantly try to oppress women or even children in their immediate vicinity only to tell themselves that they do not lack stregnth.Manhood for them means oppression of those they consider weaker.
But what such men as your husband do not realize is that women are by no means weak.
And you need to prove just that like many other women have time and again.
Pull yourself and your children out of this oppression.
Dont bring religion in the matter.
People like your husband have nothing to do with religion.Infact they only use religion to prove their own baseless points by offering interpretations of religious laws and ordinances which suit nothing but their own petty selves.
You are at a job which makes you financially independent.
Just walk away with your children.
They will thank you someday for it.
2006-12-10 17:47:26 · answer #3 · answered by Isha 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The first part you added there later, it does seem as though having a wife in Pakistan is shameful! One thing: move your butt as far away from him as possible! You don't need to be stuck with him! Move and go somewhere else in the world and do what you know is best!
2006-12-10 18:59:27 · answer #4 · answered by -♦One-♦-Love♦- 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
we look for love and find something else.
he will say sorry soon enough, but you cannot trust him ever again.
Sometimes relationships can work out because people do change, but sometimes it just gets worse. I'm sorry about your boy. I hope he gets better. Your daughter will probably miss him. But its up to you. Sounds like in your heart and body you have already left him.
marriage is about belonging, but it is first and formost, and act of will. one or the other of you no longer wills it, then there is nothing the other person can do to change that person's will.
2006-12-10 17:26:22 · answer #5 · answered by Shinigami 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i've got been on your place many situations previously. Please do no longer enable it become a habit, you're incredibly unlikely to like it. Self-harming solves no longer something. it would desire to alleviate some emotional stress even though it incredibly is temporary. in case you sense the urge to do something, each so often i might positioned on a hair tie around my wrists and in simple terms flick it or rubbing an ice cube on your wrist/pores and skin each so often relieves your self of the would desire to self-harm. attempt to take a seat back ideal now. Take a deep breath. perhaps you may hear to three music or in simple terms relax, to take your suggestions off of regardless of is making you sense the would desire to self-harm. in case you have a counselor at school, I tremendously advise you pay them a pass to, it would desire to incredibly provide help to out. in the experience that your mum and dad are comprehend-how, i'm particular they does no longer suggestions sitting down with you to talk approximately it the two. stay good.
2016-10-05 03:59:42 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two words: Divorce court. Send his sorry a** packing back to Pakistan and move on. Life is too short to suffer such fools. Love might conquer all, but it has yet to completely conquer self-loathing on his level. Best to get out from under and get him deported while you're at it.
2006-12-10 17:20:54 · answer #7 · answered by weary0918 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
LEAVE u shouldnt ever have to accept being treated like that.. im sure there are plenty of men that are interested in your... you should stand up for yourself and get ou b4 things escalade to a point to where u arent in control of the situation
2006-12-10 17:21:46 · answer #8 · answered by bdbdub 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Only you can help yourself. You need to get out of the situation but only you can do it.
You have to understand that in the Muslim religion, women are seen as lesser. Though I don't think that has anything to do with this.
You need to get out. No one can do it for you. You have to pick up and leave.
2006-12-10 17:20:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to lay down some ground rules! Simply tell him that his behavior in your country is not acceptable and if his treatment of yourself does not improve dramatically you have grounds for divorce and moreover if he abuses you physically, you will involve the police
2006-12-10 18:16:20 · answer #10 · answered by mandbturner3699 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋