and i have been talk to my friend chris from high school and i have been getting these feelings that i like him alot. is it wrong to be engaged to someone and have feelings for another? dont get me wrong i love josh so much,but i also like chris. is it wrong?
2006-12-10 16:39:41 · 17 answers · asked by s_stim2000 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Not wrong. Attraction is chemical and we have little or no control. It is only wrong if you are considering doing anything with chris. I am attracted to a lot of my male friends, and have occasionally felt bad for it, because I love my fiancee and I don't want to jeopardize what we have. If you want to pursue something with Chris, give a lot of thought to why you got engaged to Josh, what you like about Chris and why you are feeling this way. If you feel like Chris is your man, work that out with Josh FIRST. It is respectful to break the engagement BEFORE you pursue something with someone else.
Bottom line though, if you are happy with Josh and have no intention of falling in love with or doing anything sexual with Chris, then you are in safe waters. Go with your gut. If you feel wrong, you might be wrong so think about it, but don't beat yourself up if you feel wrong but aren't
2006-12-10 16:46:42 · answer #1 · answered by Julia Star 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it's not wrong as long you don't act on the feelings. Married people meet people they like all the time men and women it's only human. These feeling are temporary Chris represents the best time of your life your just reliving your past. especially at this point in your life your past is familiar and looks pretty good. Your starting a new life, marriage is a big step. Chris brings comfortable not a care in the world times back. but Chris is just there for fun josh is there for the long run.But he real question is would you want josh doing this to you. Answer that question honestly don't say no just so you can feel better about being with Chris and you'll be fine. good luck to ya!
2006-12-10 16:56:21 · answer #2 · answered by T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well to start with - It is best that you found out you have these feelings now instead of after you get married...BUT-
If you are having these feelings about someone other than the one you are engaged to -Then just think about it... How can you have any room for someone else to be able to come into your heart? All your heart is suppose to be filled with love for your fiance....So how could you possibly have even a dought about your feelings...If you have left enough room for another one to come into your heart - then you are not ready for marriage...
Maybe it is just the thrill of you and this friend getting to know each other all over again and it is all so exciting to you - and this feels like love for you because it is so new and fun...BUT
It will get back down to a normal level when you have over come the getting to know each other excitiment and thrills of the chase...And then you will be right where you are now...And you will also have lost the one that you were engaged to to start with ...
So think about this very long and very hard...
Just ALWAYS REMEMBER that the grass is NEVER greener on the other side.....................
Don't hurt the heart that loves you...But do not let your heart be hurt either...
2006-12-10 19:20:07 · answer #3 · answered by D Coy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have read many of the resonses and I agree with Julia Star and others. In my situation however, I was engaged and was attracted to another guy. He never knew it though as I hid it well. I was also slightly attracted to other men. This sent off warning signals in my mind but I still got married. A year and a bit later we divorced. I just wasn't attracted to my husband at all - I know I made a mistake. I loved him, but only as friend love... Now I'm actually seeing the guy I was attracted to whilst I was engaged. I didn't actually see him or make any contact at all whilst I was married because I was attracted to him. We met up with mutual friends and hit it off instantly (this was way after I was divorced) and I've never been happier!!
Make sure you are 200% sure you want to marry Josh, as I've learnt that sometimes love just aint enough...
2006-12-10 17:51:53 · answer #4 · answered by Snoopy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not wrong, but you need to be careful. For example, people that normally cheat on their boyfriends/girlfriends usually think that when they get married that will all change. It is the same with attraction. Unfortunately, you are only human and that means that you will find many people that you are attracted to throughout your life. However, the next thing is to realize that you need to be careful. Because you are engaged means that you have made a conscious decision on committing fully to your husband, so make sure not to let seemingly harmless attractions turn into more. Good luck and congratulations!
2006-12-11 03:02:46 · answer #5 · answered by Future Mrs. Beasley 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you should not be talking to someone if you have feelings like this for him nor should you be getting married you will be thinking have I made a mistake maybe I was to marry Chris. I would find out in your heart who makes you the happiest and go from there.
2006-12-10 17:18:52 · answer #6 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will always have feelings... attractions... for other people as long as you live. Congrats -- you're very human.
Part of the difficult part of being married is that you have to DECIDE to limit your activities (both sexual and emotional) to your spouse. You might always have a soft spot in your heart for Chris, and he for you... but you've decided to have your primary relationship with Josh.
Remember, "marriage" is a state of mind... the wedding simply celebrates that fact. If you don't feel married to Josh already, then you really need to postpone that wedding!!
2006-12-10 16:49:48 · answer #7 · answered by geek49203 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This sounds like serious **** or should I say real life. Think of how miserable you are going to feel knowing that the person who you truly felt connected to will be lost in a memory forever. If the guy that you are going to marry does not make you feel like you should be with him, then don't, cancel the whole parade and tell the real one how you feel. Its better to confess now that you still have time because later when you are in the middle of your marriage and life, you are going to cause great deal of pain and tears. Don't be a fool and make mistakes that you will regret later in your life. Its sounds easier said than to be done, but its for your own good and the sake for your happiness. C'mon go and tell the real one where your heart is heading.
2016-03-29 02:47:17 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a go slow bell. If you can't enter into your marriage 100% then your spouse will sense the difference and invest the same #.
What is it in Chris that attracts you? Chances are the friendship is part of it - are you good friends w/ your fiance?
2006-12-10 16:53:53 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have a friend who is convinced she is absolutely in love with her fiance, but whenever someone else looks at her for more than a second, she consideres handing him back the ring. an ex of hers showed interest and she gave him the ring back telling him she needed time to think. if that happens, i dont think you are ready to be engaged. realize that getting married is a forever thing. and you shouldnt go into it thinking 'well i could always get a divorce' so if you are having feelings for someone else just from talking to them, think about calling off your engagement or about learning to find deeper reasons to get attached to someone.
2006-12-10 16:47:04 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋