Why after I'm intimate w/my patner,I feel sad?

Question

(bad part is we haven't been together very long)I'm 34 and he is 29,not sure if this has anything to do w/it.

Answer 1

I think after girls have sex they have really strong emotions. I think I read that somewhere, but I'll have to try to find it again. I used to cry after I had sex but I wasn't sad at all. And other times I would feel really sad, too.












I found the article! Here it is: http://love.ivillage.com/lnssex/sexorgasm/0,,drpatti_91n,00.html

Answer 2

I don't believe that the emotional ties that bind you have you convinced. He is empty and you can feel it most when you are close to him. When emotions have not been ultimately qualified by a mate then a person can sometimes feel cheated in anything they do, like it's either not enough, or it just feels fake. A woman that is 34 usually needs someone older as they're at the age of understanding, whereas a man who is 29 is still trying to figure things out. This is why women are usually with an older man. Perhaps dating (just one date) someone whom is older and that you trust may help give you perspective.... even it this person you go out with is just a friend, go out with him on a real date. I don't think you're being given what you deserve, which is a rope of consistency and love. email me if you need anything as I feel your pain... be well, Jack

Answer 3

That's funny.. I go through the same thing. I dated this guy who was 27 and I'm 32, and it was pretty recent. We had great sex, but we hadn't been together very long when we started. I think I didn't feel like he totally knew and loved me like I felt like it should be... also I sensed somehow that he had some issues of his own that I wasn't privy to. I don't know... all in all, I just had sort of an empty, unloved feeling sometimes after sex. Maybe you guys should open up a little more verbally, and feel a little more intimate emotionally and maybe sex will be more gratifying. I wish you the best.

Answer 4

Cynthia, you may have some sexual issues within yourself. First of all, you may want to invest more time nourishing your relationship outside of the bedroom until these feelings subside. Your sadness may be a sense of something that's missing. This could be with your partner or you. Something inside you may not be connecting with your partner. Get to know him more. Do more things together. Be less intimate. Try to focus on caressing, kissing, and holding each other as suppose to making love.There may be some emotional/sexual trauma in your life that you may not recall. An abortion or miscarriage can accompany feelings of sadness for some women in their sexual relationships.I also recommend that you let your partner know that this is happening with you. He may also be a contributing factor in your emotions. Does he remind you of someone who may have caused you pain in some way? A deceased friend or family member,maybe.

Answer 5

I don't think that age has anything to do with it. I think it may be because your heart is not really in it. You may be feeling that this person you are with is using your body but yet not really caring about your mind and your feelings. I would say that i think you should refrain from sex for a little while to sort out your thoughts. A long time ago I had this feeling way before i was married. Your body is like a rare diamond and you certainly can not extend that to someone that has not earned the right in mind,body, and soul. Best wishes and hugs.

Answer 6

There are so Many issues to address in that one question that it will be really hard to talk about that one alone. A question that I would have to ask in return is whether or not you enjoy the sex, or if you just participate in it. I wouldn't be suprised if you were left feeling unfullfilled; even somewhat used. What you really need to do is look deep and figure out what your motivation for having sex is. If the sex that you are refering to is casual then I would say that you have a need to be liked, or "similiar" issuse, and are under the unfortunate assumption that having sex will make people like you. If you're in a relationship the problems become myriad and all I will say is that you need to get out of the relationship.

Answer 7

It could be that being so intimate makes you vulnerable and taps in to memories etc that you may need to release. Counselling, or writing in a journal could help. It's a good idea to really connect with your own sense of power and beauty when you have sex, and connecting emotionally and spiritually with your partner is an integral part of that. Have you tried Tantra? It's very empowering, and has helped my partner and I so much. There's some good books: Divine Sex by Caroline Aldred, and 'Tantric Sex' by Dr Judy Kuriansky if you are curious. Good luck.

Answer 8

look at how you feel when you are with him outside the bedroom. Does he make you happy then. If so, try to figure out the reason. Have you had other sexual partners. How did you feel with them afterwords. This could be a sign that you two aren't right for each other, or it could be a woman's crazy body.

Answer 9

Does he give you an orgasm or does he not hit the right spot? He might not be your type. Your relationship might not have any meaning behind it. You might not be satisfied with him and you might not be happy with your self. Only you know what is going on. I don't think that your age has anything to do with it. It just depends on what you like.

Answer 10

You may feel that the relationship is transitory and shallow, and that sex alone will not sustain it. You may be sad, because the link may have little or no future or point other than exercise.