My wife and I will be hosting a Christmas Party the evening before Christmas Eve as we have for the past several years, and are in the process of finalizing our invitations.
The tradition of the party originally started with my wife and my mother-in-law while they lived together, and since our marriage, my wife and I have taken over as hosts and organizers.
My question is whose name should be listed first for RSVP purposes, since my wife and I invite several of our friends, and my mother-in-law invites several of hers. My initial conclusion was that since my wife and I host and pay for the party, that our name should come first and then my mother-in-law's.
However, my mother-in-law see's herself as and insists that she is the senior matriarch of the family, and even though it is not in her home, nor does she pay for any of the expenses for the party, that she should have her name headline the invitation.
For argument's sake, who should be listed first?
2006-12-10 15:55:56 · 10 answers · asked by Embattled Son-In-Law 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Yours, but look under Emily Post( she's the etiquette guru) on the Internet or library.
2006-12-10 16:00:54 · answer #1 · answered by sweetpea 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If it were me, I would defer to the Mother In Law...
it is really not about who pays for what...people reading the invite are not going to automatically assume that since the MIL is on top she paid for the party...
This party seems, if I'm understanding correctly, about getting together with family and friends and whose name appears at the top of the invite should be a non issue...
You and your wife know who paid for the party, let your MIL be the top line, she is correct, she is the matriarch of the family...it is really about perceptions of respect as far as she goes, I think...
If all else fails, let all names appear on the same line...
In the grand scheme of things, why let this small thing taint what is meant to be enjoyable?
Life is too short to think about whose name comes first, just have a good time and don't think about it!
2006-12-10 16:21:46 · answer #2 · answered by nackawicbean 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your mother-in-law is wrong.
The party is in the home of you & your wife, there for the invitations should ONLY state your names. If the mother-in-law wants her name front & center then she should host the party at her home & foot the bill.
Merry Christmas to you & your wife. Hope it works out, but don't allow her to take the credit for your efforts.....
2006-12-10 16:11:43 · answer #3 · answered by More Lies & More Smoke Screens 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why argue and what's the big deal---so what --- let her have it---as a silent christmas present. As long as she has the RSVP number and is taking the lead on persons attending or not attending, let her do it. The party is simply in the holiday spirit--a successful party is the goal no matter how it gets done or who does what-----if it goes bad, don't do it next year---go on a trip and have a MERRY CHRISTMAS
2006-12-10 16:01:43 · answer #4 · answered by fire_inur_eyes 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i would think that you are right BUT why can't you be the bigger person and give in to your MIL?
why did she stop hostessing the dinner party herself? is it because she is getting older and just can't do as much as she used to? if so, maybe you should be compassionate and let her have her name on the top line. it is at your house, i am sure the guests know that it is you that is actually giving the party.
i think that perfect solution would be that your name goes on the top for your friends and your MIL's name goes on the top for her friends.
her friends may feel more comfortable coming if it is her party.
it is Christmas! relax! :) SD
2006-12-10 16:36:24 · answer #5 · answered by SD 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
with the intention to cut back the probabilities of harm emotions, that's terrific to take the invites right away to the moms and dads as adversarial to giving them out at college. yet while she's insistant in taking them herself, it may well be terrific reachable them out after college-- that's while a brilliant number of the kiddies may well be preoccupied with the theory of going back domicile. in terms of invitation "etiquette" the main mandatory element is that the moms and dads of the babies you have invited understand bearing directly to the celebration--that way RSVPs will happen lots faster. i'm hoping this has helped!, terrific desires including your daughter's celebration :) , -WTK.
2016-10-18 02:24:37 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dude...i cant believe u guyz r fighting over such a small thing....i may not b an ettiquette guru...but some respect must b shown 4 da elders....if she is adamant on seeing her name first printed....let it pass! do u think dat the ppl who recieve da card read it aloud to their families to point out the correct usage of language? no!!! the will *** either way the name is printed!!i mean...*** on....it is just a printed name....and every1 will know that u guyz r hosting da party cuz it is ur house....so y the fuss? it is christmas after all!!! cheers!!!
2006-12-10 18:41:13 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
For argument's sake it should be you and or your wife's name. But, in reality I would give in and list mom if she is going to make a big deal about it. I'm all for minimizing conflict in the family this time of year ;-)
2006-12-10 18:05:49 · answer #8 · answered by BabyPaws 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
List your name and your wife's name first. It is your party, you are paying for it and it is your house.
2006-12-10 17:34:12 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Can't you just put: your two names and then your mother-in-law's?
For instance: John and Sue Jones, and __ (mother-in-law's name) all on the same line, invite you to ....
Wouldn't that be ok and not offend her? Sounds like she's hung up on pretty trivial stuff.
2006-12-10 16:01:38 · answer #10 · answered by 60s Chick 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋