Why do people insist upon always going to the abusive types?
I have a friend for example who is so obviously being led on by a girl with a boyfriend [in his defense he was dating her and she ended it to be with the boyfriend], and yet he goes forward, een to the point of denying himself sex as to, "Not hurt her"
Then another friend, was trying to cultivate something with a girl who was out of an emotionally abusive relationship, yet she's pining over her ex, and ignoring him, unless it's to cry about her issues and insecurities.
I think the reason I'm perpetually single is in direct relation to the fact I am not dumb enough to do these things. Seriously, I get to be the "Fix my relationship, *****," and I'm fairly good at it by now, but I never get one. Why is this the case? Is it because I refuse to let myself do the same thing over and over, or be an asshole?
sorry if this is unnecessarily long.
2006-12-10 15:49:56 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I like what I've gotten thus far, but I'd like to add a bit more, since some things that I forgot [I know them, I accidentally expected peripherals to be known, it happens :P ]
I'm not looking for a fairy tale, that's silly. I'm looking for touching [non-sexual], and someone to let get close. I'm no fool, I'm too young for love. Everyone has flaws, gods know I do, and without them I would not be me, therefore i assume the same for everyone else
It's just that the more I look around, the more I realize that maybe, just maybe, I'm too mature for others. Which sounds arrogant, but I'm not intending that.
2006-12-10 16:09:03 · update #1
Well, in the case of my brother, who sounds significantly like yourself...he was just as bad by being attracted to the kind of girls that like "bad" men. They are usually very attractive...but came with a ton of emotional baggage and were not altogether bright. He has had his share of heartache over it.
I am 28 years old and married to the perfect gentleman. He's adoring, sweet, gentle and generous. I'm with him because I am very careful about who I date, purposely avoid men with problems, men that are too confident (egotistical) and the biggest thing...I avoid macho men because they seem to have an abundance of unstable members.
So, I have to say that while it might take some effort to find, there are women out there that are looking for nice guys. And you probably don't want a woman that isn't looking for a nice guy...because she is probably going to get bored by your nice attributes and do something very stupid.
Anyway, that is my take on things.
2006-12-10 16:01:16 · answer #1 · answered by Lunasea 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Probably what you said combined with a fear of being like them. A legitimate fear, certainly, but don't let it hold you back. As hard as you try, you can't have the perfect relationship, which i'm sure you already know. If you're as intelligent as you come off, you should be able to pursue a good relationship. Sometimes the circumstances just aren't too fruitful, but you'll snag someone in due time.
2006-12-10 23:55:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Most people are not dumb, just ignorant. LOL, they have yet to gain the knowledge and experience that you do. Give it time and the right person will come along for you, until then just sit back and enjoy the soap opera and try to not be the pillow that everyone cries on.
2006-12-10 23:54:51 · answer #3 · answered by Ofie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
some people let their emotions rule them. they are not dumb. you get to see a lot of failed relationships that you become jaded. not all girls/ boys are abusive as you think. you are just around people who are. if you get to meet a person you like try to get to know her/him. if things dont work out then move on. fairytales are found only in books. there is no such thing as a perfect ever after.
2006-12-11 00:01:13 · answer #4 · answered by luvdoctor 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the definition for insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results, don't think of it as being an asshole, some people think of it as tough love!!!
2006-12-11 01:10:07 · answer #5 · answered by masterflagman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's because ppl are stupid as fuc* and they don't like dating ppl who have half a brain this is why ppl with brains don't get to date. sorry it sucks i know but lifes a bit** and we just have to learn to deal with it
2006-12-10 23:56:44 · answer #6 · answered by kat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love is Blind!...
2006-12-10 23:52:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋