how do we get a 20 year old to move out and get his own life?

Question

I am the Mom, but his Dad provides all the financial stability, or liability, in his life. In other words, he owes his dad money

Answer 1

Tell dad to take his losses.

Son you have 3 months to find a job and get your own place.

Stop buying luxury items for him. Give him 3 hots and a cot. No spending money at all. Unless he is going job hunting or apartment hunting.

Answer 2

my dad gave me the hint of a lifetime when at 18 all he bought me for christmas was household items like pots pans, kitchen items, and bedding items. The dad needs to cut the finacial cord or your son will never learn to survive on his own and will forever call you guys when he needs money.

Answer 3

Change the locks....lol

no, really give him a time table....tell him her has 3 months to save up and that point if he isn't out on his own you're going to start charging him rent and the cost for food,water,electric all of it....itemize it....make it clear....have him sign a contract....make it legal....
Then tell him he also has house rules to follow....being in by midnight and by all means....a chore list....(he'll love this-not)

Another thing......Stop doing for him.....don't cook him dinner, don't do his laundry, don't pick up his room.....it may be hard, at first....but trust me it will work.


Best wishes....

Answer 4

What's the hurry? Charge him rent, let him kick in for the groceries & laundry. As long as he is be a responsible adult and you don't need the room let him stay - but if he stays he abides by your rules.

Answer 5

All the while daddy is stupid enough to keep supporting him he will be there for good u need to sort him out first. Good luck

Answer 6

tough love hunnie...my brother is 23 and barely got his own job...i mean u gotta do it even if it hurts. otherwise they will think its ok and think u guys will always be there with money and things to provide for him.