There's this divorced guy at work who has tried to convinced me to make out with him for two years now; he is in the middle of a divorce, he's great looking, funny and I even think there's chemistry between us. However, I'm happily married to someone else and very much in love with him; the guy at work says he would never sleep with me because he respects my marriage but he doesn't consider kissing on the lips cheating; I DO think making out with someone else is cheating and I don't want to ruin my life and marriage just for simple curiosity or physical attraction, Unfortunately this guy is one of the most persistent people I've ever met, and he just doesn't give up; I must say he doesn't handle rejection very well, and we've had a lot of problems because of that, which I hate because we used to have a nice friendship. Anyway, I'd like to have some advice on that matter, thanks.
2006-12-10 15:03:23 · 13 answers · asked by Marisa 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Stay away from this guy! He sounds like a creep. You have to be firm; the best advice I can give is say a firm "NO". You are right to want to keep your marriage by not kissing him.
No matter how many times he asks, don't let him wear you down.
2006-12-10 15:08:05 · answer #1 · answered by Ravenna 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First thing - "divorced guy at work." Alarm bells! He's in the middle of a divorce...that can be big trouble. He's seeking satisfaction, and has a new-found freedom he's dying to try out. I'm thrilled to hear you say that you're happily married to a man you're crazy about, because this yahoo at work is cruising on the edge of stalker here. You say that you used to have a nice friendship, but it seems pretty rocky now. If you had a true friendship with him, when you told him no, he should have backed off. Instead what he's doing now is harassing you, and if he's doing it at work he should be reprimanded at the very least.
If I were you, I would try one more time telling him to keep his filthy paws off your silky drawers, and give him all your reasons, starting with the happily married part, and ending with the "I'm feeling threatened and you're sexually harassing me" bit. If he doesn't listen to reason, you can let him know that the friendship is over and a restraining order will be visiting him soon.
I hope you're as indignant and horrified as I am over this. He's not respecting you as a friend first of all, and he's certainly not respecting you as a woman. Tell him to shape up or ship out.
2006-12-10 15:38:40 · answer #2 · answered by bibliophile_1976 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you haven't already, you need to tell him that you consider making out cheating. You have to firmly tell him that it's never gonna happen and he needs to stop asking. You said that there's chemistry between you two and that he's great looking and funny... well if he knows that you think that, he might just think that you're teasing him when you won't make out with him.
If you don't want to end up cheating on your husband, I would say the best thing to do is to stop talking the guy so much. He'll keep being persistent as long as you're really friendly with him because that tells him that there's a chance you'll give in.
2006-12-10 15:09:15 · answer #3 · answered by F.J. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were you, I would tell him that although you are flattered, you need him to stop making advances towards you. Tell him it makes you uncomfortable and that you are happily married. Conclude by letting him know that you value his friendship which is why you are giving him the opportunity to stop the inappropriate behavior before you talk to HR.
I would also email this to him so that you have it written proof. You can be nice about it, but let him know that he has crossed the line. I would also advise you to tell your husband about the situation if you have not already done so. You are right to not act on his suggestion and to remain faithful.
2006-12-10 15:13:58 · answer #4 · answered by Jennifer S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
say your insulted as a wife of a man to think that kissing isn't cheating. As you as a wife of another man would not like your own beloved husband to be kissing a woman so right there his values of commitment is f- ed up. Say thanks but no thanks. He is on the rebound and this happens during the course of all divorces to some. They have a detachment withdrawal from their spouse and they doubt their manhood all kinds of things.
2006-12-10 15:08:10 · answer #5 · answered by gypsygirl731 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he needs to learn to take rejection well obviously you are happy with where you are in life. Tell him no if he keeps bugging you then I guess painful or not you have to get him out of your life before you have a moment of weakness and forget about all your principles.
2006-12-10 15:07:42 · answer #6 · answered by Rocky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your married, and you say happily? Give me a break. If you are, then do you really need to ask this question? Tell the guys to stop bothering you, or you will report him to HR. If he doesn't stop at once, then report him to HR. You owe it your spouce. Now, wake up, and start acting like a married woman, why you still have time.
2006-12-10 15:10:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You should tell him that your husband doesn't think it would be a good idea and if he has to he can come by and convince him of the fact.
If your co worker cannot accept the fact that you're not interested, then you can always have him fired for sexual harrassment.
2006-12-10 15:08:03 · answer #8 · answered by James B 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
in all likelihood as while your scared he sees it as a oppertuntiy to experience manly and proitect you...purely watch it and lay up o him...that is going to prob make his day!!! additionally compliment him continuously approximately how manly he's like your so ft and stuff...wish this facilitates. L x
2016-10-18 02:22:47 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him very firmly that you're married and that you want him to stop because he's being disrespectful to you, your husband and your marriage.
Then tell him that if he does it again you will tell your husband....then do it.
You cannot be friends with this guy and you're playing with fire if you think you can.
2006-12-10 15:08:34 · answer #10 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋