I have a problem...I'm so afraid of myself?

Question

For some reason, I am not happy unless I am in a relationship....my gf and I split a week before I was going to propose and since then I have been jumping from relationship to realtionship. I feel worthless and alone and the only way I feel better is if someone is near holding me and making me feel wanted and loved. I'm jumping straight into things with people even though we are not a good match, things fall apart, and I am back fo square one feeling more hurt then before. I am finding myself overanalyzing everything and am having panic attacks. I am taking paxil, but i don't know if it's helping. All I know is that I am incredibly depressed, I have finals the next two weeks, and am having thoughts of harming myself to stop the pain, but I won't because I don't want to hurt my friends or family. I am so miserable...I am addicted to being in love and I feel like I can't function without it. I want to feel loved and wanted so badly and am scared that it is never going to happen.

Answer 1

You need to be alone and build your self confidence. You shouldn't need someone to function. It does feel nice to be in love but it's not necessary to live.

Answer 2

I am the same kind of person as you. As a teenager and into my 20's I felt like I always had to have someone there loving me or I just wasn't happy. I am now happily married and have been for almost 6 years and will be forever, he is the perfect man. This is my advice to you. Start focusing on things that make you happy, other than women or relationships. Find a hobby, go out with friends, but not to bars or any place like that, this will only make these feelings of needing someone stronger. You HAVE to tell yourself that you are fine and that you don't need any other person to make you happy. In fact these feelings that you HAVE to have someone to be happy is probably what is destroying your relationships. Most women want a man who can live without them too. See a doctor for these feelings and thoughts of hurting yourself, especially since you are taking Paxil, this drug can sometimes make these feelings and thoughts worse or stronger. I am also on Paxil and it really works well for me but it doesn't work for everyone. My husband is deployed to Iraq right now and staying focused on other things is what gets me through these long deployments. You have to find things that make you happy other than women. Other than that the only other thing I can offer is that waiting and looking for the right woman to spend your life with is the worst way to get her. "GOOD THINGS COME TO THOSE WHO WAIT" And it's true, it truly is!!! Good luck

Answer 3

You mentioned that you take Paxil but you did not mention if you are getting counseling along with it. You definitely need help talking these issues over so you can get some clarity into your thinking patterns. It concerns me that you are dealing with all these issues at a very stressful time with exams. Try to calm down and concentrate just on your exams now. Work at some positive self-talk and put yourself in some situations that you enjoy (I'm not speaking about relationships). At the same time, make an appointment to reassess your treatment plan because you definitely need some talk therapy as intervention and help with thought patterns. Take care of yourself and remember a lot of people deal with this type of situation as difficult as it is. If you are taking exams, you have something going for you right there-you have the capability to be in school and you are thoughtful to think of your friends and family. Good luck.

Answer 4

Love happens in God's own time. It is easy to say don't rush things although that is good advice but you may need more than Paxil, etc. Why not avail yourself of a counselor or psychologist along with the medication? I understand where you are coming from and feel your hurt but can only suggest that you seek someone close to you such as a caring minister or counselor who is near to you.

Whatever you do, don't DON'T stop taking your Paxil without your doctor's direction as not using this and other antidepressants suddenly and without assistance can result in death causing results,

Please seek counseling at once. I'm praying for you, son. Don't forget, many of us have been through the same thing. I know it's hard, but you can beat this.

Answer 5

Don't harm yourself. You won't always feel like this. Relax - you're 20. You can screw up the next five years and still have a great life. No need to panic.

First of all - be nice to yourself. Life can be tough and it's not all peaches and cream for anybody - we all have rough times, we all get insecure and anxious. It's just your turn right now. It's temporary - hang on - you will get through it. Trust me.

Get a therapist and get to the root of the problem. You will never find real love and approval in anyone until you find it in yourself first.

Answer 6

You need to take a deep breathe and relax. Instead of jumping into one relationship after another, why don't you try just hanging with your friends for awhile until you get your bearings. There is nothing wrong with being between gf. Without the pressure of trying to find someone, you will be able to concentrate on you and get your finals under control.

Answer 7

Thats normal. You`re on the rebound and you`re depressed because the relationship with your girlfriend didn`t work out. Stop jumping from relationship to relationship, even if thats hard. You need to recgonize your skills, values, and everything else that makes you orginal and unique. You need to appreciate yourself for that; thats the first step to feeling better. As stupid as it may sound to you, you need to start loving yourself before you can expect to be happy. Try to focus on goals in school and future career goals instead of relationships. Start trying to be honor student instead of focusing on finding the perfect relationship. You`re not ready to be in a relationship right now. Don`t try to move on too fast. Let yourself be sad, and let yourself be angry. Loosing someone you love is not something you will get over right away. Mourn this loss and give yourself time to heal. Time heals all wounds. Focus on yourself for a while and try to confront your feeling about your ex-girlfriend. All of this is important, but I can`t stress this part enough: no one can expect to be truly happy until they learn to love themself.

Answer 8

Sometimes anti-depressants can give teens suicidal thoughts --(but they are just thoughts, it doesn't mean you'll act on it). Just take things one day at a time. Realize that you've been through a lot so take care of yourself. Call your doctor and tell him/her that you are having panic attacks, etc because your symptoms might be aggravated by your medication. If your finals are causing you added grief than maybe your teachers will take your situation into consideration and give you the finals at a later date. I hope what I wrote has helped you.

Answer 9

I suggest you see a counselor very soon to discuss these issues. You seem to describe being needy and addicted to love. There are reasons for this and you need to find out why. Working this out will ease the pain and put you on a healthier road in relationships.

Answer 10

Maybe you need to learn how to love yourself by yourself. It is always nice to have someone in your life, but when u have that needy, dependant feeling it isnt always best, it might even be co-dependancy you have. Try to face your fears and challenge being alone. It isnt easy, but you will be happy that you can feel independant one day. We all want to be loved, its only natural. Try to nurture yourself and to figure out what your emotional wounds might be if there are any.

Good luck.

Answer 11

Sounds like you miss the 'routine'. You have to re-learn to be alone and how to cope on your own. Being too needy will only destroy anything new to come along. Give your heart sometime to heal. Learn to be alone and enjoy it. Take up a hobby or sport, like snowboarding...TimberRidge in Alamo township is awesome!