Can you help me?

Question

I got pregnant at 16. I had the baby and my boyfriend lives with me and my family because he got kicked out of his house when he told his parents. I'm 17 now(in high school) and he's 19 and he still stands by my side. He has a part time job now and he goes to college part-time. Nick(my son)is 1month old. Should we keep him or give him up for adoption? My mom takes care of Nick while I'm at school and my parents support me. What should I do?

Answer 1

I think apparently your boyfriend loves you and your son or he wouldn't still be by your side in all of this. He apparently cares alot about both of you and if a child has loving, caring parents why would you give them up for adoption?

Answer 2

I think this is something you should really think long and hard about and discuss with your boyfriend before you do anything. It sounds like you love your son very much and like you guys are doing your best. If you don't see where you will ever be able to provide a good life for him, look into an open adoption with a couple who will still allow you to be able to see your son and watch him grow up and keep communication open. These adoptions happen all the time and there are plenty of parents willing to do this for mothers in your situation. My husband and I actually have been looking into adopting a boy through open adoption eventually.
If I were you, though, I would keep him. It sounds like you and your boyfriend are great parents- you just are having a hard time right now. I have a plaque on my wall that says

100 years from now, it won't matter what kind of house we lived in, how nice my clothes were, or how much money I made. The world may be a little better, though, because I was important in the life of my child.

Whenever I feel inadequate I read that plaque and think of my daughters and know that I'm doing the best I can and that it's enough.

If you ever need to talk, feel free to e-mail me and I'll give you my messenger id. Best of luck to you!

Answer 3

I got pregnant when I was 15 and had my daughter when I was 16! It's a child, a life that you have brought into this world as your responsibility. I'm now married with 2 children and my hubby/then boyfriend is still at my side 5 yrs later.


Do you love your baby?

You should have thought about this sooner.
But it's not too late.
Good luck with your decision.

Answer 4

Honey a child is a wonderful blessing. You have parents who stand by you which is terrific, the child's father is standing at your side (In some cases they are too much of cowards to face it). In the long run you will regret giving your child up for adoption. The child is your own flesh and blood, you may have times where you don't want to be around your baby when you get stressed, but to give it away and to never see again is the one most thing you will never forgive yourself for doing. Its all up to you, don't feel pressured always talk to your parents and your boyfriend and good luck and god bless.

Answer 5

if everything is peachy keen, keep him. if you all are having money issues, then you should probably give him up for his own sake. you should have a part-time job too. im 16 and im working part time at target 4-8 on weekedays and 10-6 on weekends. and at 7.25 an hour working 21 hours a week pulls in about 260 dollars every two weeks. and Nick will still have at least one parent around each day

Answer 6

You can give him up for adoption. There are always people looking for
babies. If you feel like this would be the best idea you will have to make
sure that your boyfriend and your parents are okay with it too. They have
an interest in the situation. If you decide to keep him your life will be
very different. It is a big decision. Talk to your mom. She has your best
interests at heart and she will have some good wisdom. That's what
moms do.

Answer 7

do what is in your heart. giving your child up for adoption would have to be the hardest decision a person could ever have to make. do you feel you can support the child with a loving family and their daily needs... and a FEW wants along the way? if you and your boyfriend honestly feel that the child would be better off with another family... well, then that is what would be best. but this is a HIGHLY personal question that you will need to do some soul searching on. life is hard for a teenage mother... but harder for a child of a teenage mother (at least in the begining).

i wish you the best of luck in searching within yourself for the answer to this question. PLEASE REMEMBER, the only persons living with your decision is YOURSELF, the child, the child's father, and of course your mother... don't let ANYONE else's opinion sway YOUR decision.

Answer 8

While your life is tough now you both are working hard to get on your feet,you have the support of your parents,none of you is any life threatening danger(being out on the street,starving etc.) By all means keep your son. I would suggest strongly going to a Justice of the Peace and get married(don't need a fancy ceremony,for now). Live with your parents until you both have jobs and can support yourselves. Then get out on your own. I hope you all do well in your lives.

Answer 9

You already had him for a month...gave him a name...can you ever forgive yourself if you give him up to complete strangers??
Only if you think that there is NO WAY that you OR your family can take care of him the way he deserves to be taken care of, then you should consider it. I hope you make the right choice!
Just don`t expect things to be all peachy and great once he`s gone and out of your life. Your boyfriends parents will still be the ones who kicked him out, that won`t change anything.
Good Luck

Answer 10

You are the only one who can answer that... with the help of your bf of course. If he is going to school and so are you and you both have the support of your family I say keep him. I had a baby at 17 and she is still so important to hubby and I. I couldn't imagine having given her up!!