First Christmas Story of the Season
A Christmas Story
'Twas the night before Christmas... Old Santa was pissed.
He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.
Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks. I have a good mind to scrap the whole works!
I've busted my *** for damn near a year,
Instead of "Thanks Santa"... what do I hear?
The old lady bitches cause I work late at night.
The elves want more money... The reindeer all fight.
Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids.
Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS.
And just when I thought that things would get better
Those assholes from the IRS sent me a letter,
They say I owe taxes... if that ain't funny
Who the hell ever sent Santa Claus any money?
And the kids these days... they all are the pits
They want the impossible... Those mean little shits
I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds
Assembling dolls... Their arms, legs and heads
I made a ton of yo yo's... No request for them,
They want computers and robots... they think I'm IBM!
Flying through the air... dodging the trees
Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees
I'm quitting this job there's just no enjoyment
I'll sit on my fat *** and draw unemployment.
There's no Christmas this year now you know the reason,
I found me a blonde. I'm going SOUTH for the season
2006-12-10 12:25:51 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Haha cute.
2006-12-10 12:29:32 · answer #1 · answered by Katelyn 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Thought you said "first Christmas story of the season". This exact same one has been on here already this season. Try again.
2006-12-10 20:34:36 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Not sure why Miz Val has her panties in a wod tonight, but I thought it was funny as hell-o...I am gonna send it to my friends and family...
2006-12-10 21:10:42 · answer #3 · answered by ~babes~ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Now thats funny!
2006-12-10 21:23:23 · answer #4 · answered by Richard Serenity 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Loved it, hope u don't mind if I put it on MySpace.
2006-12-10 20:36:13 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sucks to be you and have to quote old jokes from 2 years ago.
2006-12-10 20:29:38 · answer #6 · answered by Miz Val 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Loved..it....hope you don't mind I sent it to some other peeps.
2006-12-10 20:33:03 · answer #7 · answered by amhbas 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
LOL. Best piece of crap literature i have ever read.
2006-12-11 09:20:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It cusses too much!
2006-12-10 20:34:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
SANTAS PISSSSSEDDDD
2006-12-10 23:31:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋