what should i do?

Question

my boyfriend wants me to become a mormon so we can get married in the temple of his church if i dont become one we cant what should i do?

Answer 1

I went through the same thing. I just chose a different path. I learned about the gospel first before marriage was even mentioned. We dated for a long time while I learned about the faith. My bf was supportive and was there to answer any questions I had, but was nevery pushy about it. We wanted to see if we worked well together, and if I had any interest in the faith first. Eventually, I talked with the missionaires and prayed on my own, studied, learned, etc... it was a long process. But he stuck by me. I knew the gospel was true... for me. Not for any guy. That was just a bonus. I was baptized and have been a convert now for 4 years. I married that bf and have been happy every since. The temple issue was hard for me because with my family, not being members, I kney they could not enter. But I also knew that the only way I could be sealed to my husband for time and all eternity (rather than just until death do you part), it had to be in God's Holy Temple. Even some of my husband's family couldn't go in though because they were not active in the faith. We encorporated them as much as we could - even holding off on a ring ceremony until our reception in California, where I'm from. We had a wedding lunch immediately afterwards, and a reception the next day in Utah. Everyone had a wonderful time and in time, my family understood how important it was to me.

My point is that the gospel has to be important to you. Tell him you need to date him more, and that because you love him, you're willing to learn more about the faith that he believes so strongly in. Meet with the missionaries, go to church with him, read the Book of Mormon, and THEN make your decision. If it isn't for you, then you need to tell him. Then the ball is in his court. You two either break up and you find people who you have same beliefs with, or he marries you outside of the temple, but never enjoys the blessings of the temple with you and your future children. This doesn't mean that he can't be active in the church, even if you aren't a member. My uncle and aunt do that - he's a member and she isn't. But it isn't that way for everyone and typically, it just doesn't work.
If it is something that you find to be true in your heart, then do that first. Tell Mr. Ancy pants that marriage can wait. There is so much more importance to the faith that eventually leads to an eternal family. He should understand that - especially if he's ever served a mission. You can read this to him if you like.

I hope this has helped you some. Visit www.lds.org and read up a bit or click on "basic beliefs." Hang in there and good luck. :)

Answer 2

Have you actually considered WHY he wants you to become a Mormon? Have you went to church with him or even learned anything about the religion?
I am sure he wants you to get worthy to enter the temple because he wants to be eternally sealed to you - he loves you so much he doesn't want your marriage and family to end with death...
BUT - I would suggest NOT becoming a member just for him. If you do it for the wrong reasons, you will never understand what is taught in the temple and there is a very good chance you will fall away from the church because you will never gain a testimony if you don't want one in the first place... My guess though would be that if you are married, and don't become a member, temple marriage will always be an issue...so why not try it and see how wonderfully your life can be blessed.
Any questions, I would be happy to answer...

Answer 3

Sugertae,

No matter what you should only choose things that are right for you at the time they are right for you. I don't know you or your boyfriend obviously but if he is a good LDS guy he will respect and care for you regardless of what you choose. You guys can still be married even if it isn't in the temple if he's the guy for you.

I can tell you though that him wanting to go to the temple and be married to you there is a wonderful thing. The belief is that when you are married (or sealed) in the temple that you are eternally bound to your spouse. That you will live together forever, eternally. Being married in the temple your not just married until death due you part or until you die. You are married for all eternity and any children you were to have would be with you for all eternity as well. If you guys are truly in love and made-for-each other, he may just want to ensure you'll always be together, forever being married in the temple in the LDS belief is the only way to do that.

Again, only you can tell whether this would be right for you or good for you at this point in your life or even if he's the right guy for you. The best ways to find answers is to pray, if you have faith Heavenly Father will let you know what's right.

Hope that helps some on why he might be wanting you to go to the temple, but ask him yourself why it's so important to him. Communication is always key in any relationship. That's just my two cents.

Good luck!

Answer 4

Don't convert if you don't want to. I'm Mormon, and I'm telling you that I've seen some people convert who kind of did for a significant other, and you won't be happy unless you do it because you believe. You're boyfriend should respect this, and if he keeps pressuring you, maybe it is time to find someone else.

Answer 5

He wants to convert you? If you really love him, and don't mind becoming another religion, then go for it. But if it makes you uncomfortable, or you don't like the idea of it, tell your boyfriend that you want him to respect your choices, and that if you could get married not at a temple.

Answer 6

If you were to become a Mormon only to satisfy his church requirements, you would be a liar and a hypocrite, and he woould never respect you after, even if he was the one who talked you into it. You are worth more than that. Dont sell yourself spiritually.

Answer 7

You're going to rely on advice given by anonymous people in Yahoo Answers to answer that question for you?

Search your own heart. Do you what you think is right. Only YOU can answer that question.

Answer 8

If he insists on controlling your religious preferences, he might not be a good choice as a husband.....

Answer 9

You need to take time to think this through. Do not allow yourself to be pressurised into changing your beliefs. He has no right to blackmail you and thats what this is

Answer 10

run away from him. Don't marry a Mormaon unless you want to go downward in your spiritual life.