I used to babysit her kids for 2-3 years until about 3 years ago when I went back to college to pursue my Master's. I have been gone 3 years and have seen her maybe 2 times in the past 3 years (my schedule is pretty busy and I can't travel back home often). While i was gone, my brother took over the babysitting duties-the first time he met her was 3 years ago after I left for college. She recently remarried and invited my brother and all the other family members however I was not invitied. A family member told me later that it was because her husband supposedly "doesn't know me very well". I think this was exceedingly rude, especially considering she has known me longer than my brother but he was invited! Am I being unreasonable? Or was this rude and uncessary not to invite me. (They have PLENTY of money and everyone knows this wasn't an issue in not inviting someone).
2006-12-10 12:10:19 · 17 answers · asked by RacW 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Well I read some other answers first. I agree with it is their wedding and it is there choice on whom to invite. But yes I do think it was very rude. If you are right and there was no issue of money and keeping the guest list down then yes it was extremely rude. There isn't much you can do about it though. Do you really want to be invited now?
2006-12-10 13:16:24 · answer #1 · answered by melodi_jean_99 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you wont like my answer and I can bet the "best answer" you pick will be one that suits the answer you want...but yes you are being unreasonable, here's my take on why.
1. how you know her should not matter, its your relationship that matters
2. you have been gone 3yrs and only seen her twice (due to your schedule), so you aren't close anymore.
3. the groom didn't know you that well, and they probably wanted to keep the guests to people they knew better instead of having people they didn't know too well...it can be uncomfortable.
4. money doesn't have ANYTHING to do with whether they invited you or not. its their wedding and they invited the people close to them that they wanted there. weddings are for people you are close to that you want to share the joy with, not people you hardly see or talk to.
5. its a wedding not the end of the world!
6. move on...its done and over with..if you care about your friendship with her then move on...at this point that's more important then what happened in the past...and the wedding is in the past now
7. send them a small gift and wish them luck in their marriage...that will show no hard feelings.
2006-12-11 03:27:48 · answer #2 · answered by Get_R_Done_n_Dallas 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can understand why your feelings are hurt but I am sure she didn't do it to be mean. The fact is that many weddings have a certain amount of people that their place can hold. That means, they cannot invite EVERYONE they would like to. They probably had to come to an agreement on who they would and would not invite. You have to have a cut off....
They probably decided that they both have to know the friends they invite. Or, maybe they had it where they were only inviting friends that live in a certain area or friends they see on a daily basis.
We have a HUGE extended family and so everytime we have a big event it is very stressful figuring out who is on the list. We did it so that all of my parents first cousins were invited and their children who were stilling living at home with them. That meant that sometimes one sibling got invited and the others didn't. We did make it clear through word of mouth how we chose who to invite. It didn't mean we didn't like one more than anohter but you have to have a cut off!
Don't feel bad. :) :) :) SD
2006-12-10 13:14:11 · answer #3 · answered by SD 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is not the kind of friend you want to have. That is going beyond being rude. She has crossed over to Bitchdom. I mean come on she knew you before your brother, yet invites him. Come on, no matter if her husband didn't know you, she did. So that is a lame excuse. Sounds like she may have an issue with you. I mean she is strapped with kids in tow, no matter if she has money or not. You are pursuing a Master's and moving on with your life. You never know she may harbor some resentment towards you for that. Have you thought about talking to her about the situation and why she didn't invite you but did your brother? Why not ask her.
2006-12-10 12:21:15 · answer #4 · answered by ncamedtech 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know this isn't what you want to hear and that you are looking for someone to agree with you rather then someone who will give you an actual opinion on this matter, but I am going to tell you what I think anyways!
there could be multiple reasons for this
1) she doesn't like you, so you're not invited
2) she feels estranged from you and now you are a stranger to her, so your not invited
3) they don't want a huge wedding so therefore they try to only invite people that they are close with
4) they have a maximum amount of people that they want to invite and you didn't make the cut
whatever the case it is irritating that one is supposed to invite everyone that they know even if they don't feel close to some of them just based on the fact that those individuals will get offended.
It is her wedding and if she doesn't want you to go then she shouldn't have to invite you just because it is the courteous thing to do.
2006-12-10 12:30:37 · answer #5 · answered by That Girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Chances are they were trying to keep their guest list down. As a Wedding Planner, when I am helping a couple with their guest list, I tell them that the general rule of thumb is if you see them more than once every 6 months, than invite them. If it is longer between visits, send them an announcement. Now, this is just a guideline and by no way a hard and fast rule so it comes down to the couples choice. It's unfortunate the way they handled this and their explanation for their actions, however, it is in the past too.
2006-12-10 13:48:47 · answer #6 · answered by Patricia D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I might invite them and deliver them a alternative on in the event that they wish to come back or no longer however no less than you furnished and that's all that issues to make anyone's day. It is the inspiration that counts and you recognize that they already recognize approximately the marriage ceremony given that they're your mom and dad nice peers. I invited a few of my mom and dad peers those I have identified given that I used to be more youthful additionally and those I paintings with. Alot of my aunts, uncles, and cousins aren't invited on account that I am no longer just about them and I am in the direction of my mom and dad peers extra. Good good fortune and feature a laugh however such a lot of all congrats!
2016-09-03 08:46:18 · answer #7 · answered by pointdexter 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont know much about weddings but
its seems somewhat rude being that she invited your family and not you.
Oh well.
if she doesnt invite you because hubby doesnt know you well then that tells me the marriage may be on the rocks sooner than we think,its bull that she knows you and money isnt an issue but hubby doesnt even want to get to know you at a wedding or reception.
how many months do you give them? I say 6 maybe?
2006-12-10 22:11:57 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are being Unreasonablie, and i will tell you why.
If you dont get invited to a wedding, then Who cares. Its NOT YOUR wedding, its her wedding, She can invite and not invite who she pleases.
Im getting married in a week and I didnt invite everyone I know!
People get to sensitive and need to stop getting so upset when they are invited when they think they should.
2006-12-10 12:23:14 · answer #9 · answered by Encouragement 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you are being unreasonable...but I wouldn't stress over it. It could have been an oversight or if the reasoning given was true, she is not as close of a friend that you thought. Just think of it as one less gift you have to buy!
2006-12-10 13:34:55 · answer #10 · answered by D M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋