my mom and dad fight CONSTANTLY. whenever my parents are around each other my dad yells at my mom about stupid little things like how he does all the work around the house (which he doesnt because he is hardly ever home because of his job). and I am getting sick and tired of seeing my mother put down like that. My dad has only been doing that for the past 2 year or so, and that's when he started drinking more...
what do I do?? let them fight it out?
2006-12-10 10:58:28 · 24 answers · asked by Quin G 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Dont get in the middle! You could ask them not to fight in front of you!
2006-12-10 11:00:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anarchy99 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are in a tough spot. It sounds like your father may be under a lot of stress. He has started drinking as a way to deal with it. It sounds like he is spending more time at work, so he has to spend less time at home. Talking to him, asking him to stop, probably won't do any good, he may even think your mother put you up to it and get mad at her again. As far as helping your mom around the house etc. it's a good idea but your father will only find another reason to fight. I don't know anything about your home life, family, etc. Parents do fight, but all the time is wrong. If they start fighting, go for a walk, put your headphones on or go to a friends house. If he starts throwing or breaking things etc that could be a sign that he may hurt your mother. If you are scared during one of their fights call the police.
Are his parents still alive? maybe talk to one of them about what's going on and they could talk to him.
You can contact support groups for children of alcoholics. But that won't stop the fighting. Why don't you talk to your mom, ask if you can help her, tell her how you feel, and ask her why your father drinks and puts her down all the time. She may tell you, she may not know the reasons, Ask what you should do when they are fighting. There are also crisis lines you can call anytime too.
2006-12-10 19:31:41 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your mom about it. I don't know that I would risk talking to your dad. He sounds pretty unpredictable. Sometimes parents stay together and put up with a lot of things because they think it would bother the kids for the parents to separate. Maybe if your mom knows she has your support, she would have the courage to change the situation. Good luck.
2006-12-10 19:01:02 · answer #3 · answered by donnabellekc 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No I think you should talk to your mom about it it sounds like your dad is an alchoholic. If you don't know what that means it's when someone can't stop drinking. It will get worse if he is, he won't stop drinking untill he's lost everything. There is a place that can help it though, its called AA. That stands for alchoholic anonomis. I'm not saying your dad is an alchoholic it just sounds like it.
2006-12-10 19:04:28 · answer #4 · answered by Rikki-Bobbie 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
No. You need to let your feelings be known to both parents. They may not realize how their fights affect you. You also need to let your dad know that you want him to stop putting your mom down. They really would benefit from marital counseling if you could get that point across. Actually, you need to be included in family counseling too.
2006-12-10 19:05:15 · answer #5 · answered by RBRN 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well dear, u can't allow that. I was in ur shoes when I was younger. If u can speak with them do, if u can't pray that they find a common ground. It is not the best especially when u are a growing kind. I have no great answer but, use this to gain ur confidence. No one is perfect. You are thier problem and the quarrels to. Find a way to make them see that, so that it can be sorted.
2006-12-10 19:03:12 · answer #6 · answered by Lady Bella 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Write a letter to both of them how you feel. Leave it where they both will find it to read when you know you will be gone for a long period of time. They will think about it, and maybe make some new decisions about how you feel.
Just an Idea...I think this way, they won't start crap with you, and give them time to think about the affect of their arguing has on you.
I hope the suggestion I made won't make things worse.
Good luck.
2006-12-10 19:08:09 · answer #7 · answered by just4fun20034 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you feel safe doing so, you can provide your Dad with some information as to how he can get help for his alcohol problem. And I recommend you hightail your butt to an Alanon meeting in your area. There you will learn how to deal with this and more importantly, how to take care of yourself in the midst of it. You are your own first responsibility. And if your Mom wants to go with you to that meeting, great. If not, still go. You'll be glad you did.
2006-12-10 19:01:55 · answer #8 · answered by Samslou 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
This is something your parents need to work out for themselves. There is nothing you can do except to tell your parents how you feel about them fighting so much.
2006-12-10 19:37:56 · answer #9 · answered by Gypsy Girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ignore it until the fighting is about something serious because thats when it means you need to get concerned and tell them to quit fighting when my mom and da fought they fought over stupied things ask them to take part in family conseling and tell them to get more involed with there family siuations unstaed of fighting my mom and dad fought for 4 years and they ended up getting a divorce and i hope that doesnt happen to yours so all my luck is with you and i will pray for you.
2006-12-10 19:05:01 · answer #10 · answered by kristyisaacs2004 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Is there any physical abuse? If there is, you have to tell somebody. How old are you? If you are still in school, maybe you could tell a teacher, someone you can trust, like an older sibling maybe. Don't try and do anything yourself, it only makes matters worse. Trust me, I know.
2006-12-10 19:05:32 · answer #11 · answered by mama3 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋