don't want to... for instance, one time she made NY steak for my roommate and i .... i told her it was delicious, but i am exercising portion control, so i cut it in half and told her i'd eat the other half for lunch tomorrow... she keeps insisting that i eat the other half... and her portion that she cut... i told her nicely that i'm full, and i'll save the other half for lunch. she gets mad and said that it's cooked perfectly and it won't be good tomorrow and i eat it all.. and even tries to force feed me by putting it in my mouth... this is constant at the house... where it's driving me crazy and i'm thinking about moving... i know she is being nice...and motherly...and i should be grateful and appreciative... but i really want to control what i eat... and it's getting annoying... a couple times, i have snapped at her that i don't want whatever she is feeding me....am i over reacting?
2006-12-10 10:57:33 · 16 answers · asked by bigmak1125 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Allow me to correct you: Force feeding, or any attempt at physical control, is neither nice nor motherly. EVER. Don't let her do it again, even if that means you have to move.
Control freaks can't stop on their own -- they have to be stopped by someone else.
2006-12-10 11:01:13 · answer #1 · answered by ? 7 · 6⤊ 0⤋
You might try having a real discussion with her. When it is not mealtime, ask if you can have a moment of her time. Tell her very politely that you greatly appreciate her wonderful cooking and her kindness BUT you are trying to eat a well balanced, properly proportioned diet and her attempts to feed you more than you want are not helpful. Tell her you don't want to seem unappreciative but either she can accept that you choose how much or how little to eat or it will no longer be necessary for her to cook for you. There's a member in my family that is the same way. She got mad but she got over it and I no longer need to aviod family meals. Good luck.
2006-12-10 21:26:09 · answer #2 · answered by hairdvs 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your neighbor is worried that you aren't getting proper nutrition and is trying to make up for that. My personal policy is that nobody should force anybody else to eat anything, ever. So I disagree with what she's doing.
I think since she hasn't picked up on your subtle indirect hints already, perhaps you could have a more direct talk with her. It's important that this happens at a time where she's not actually currently trying to feed you. Maybe you could just go over to her apartment and say something like, "Jean, first, let me just tell you that I really appreciate all the cooking that you've done for me. I think you have realized that I'm away from home and I think it's nice of you to want to cook for me. But it really makes me uncomfortable when you try to make me eat all of what you've cooked. Sometimes I just don't want to eat any more. I'm happy for you to continue cooking for me, but would it be all right for me to not eat everything you give me every time?"
It might take a little bit of psychoanalysis on your part to figure out what need (of hers) she is trying to fill by doing this for you. But once you've figured it out, you can acknowledge her efforts and perhaps agree on another way of addressing that need that doesn't involve coercive feeding.
2006-12-11 04:25:47 · answer #3 · answered by drshorty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's her way of controlling you all. She snoops around when she comes over, and makes sure you're not putting holes in the walls.
And honestly, I believe that when you eat the food someone else prepares, you absorb some of their intentions.
See if she's so eager to eat food that you prepare, and you'll see what her motives are.
2006-12-10 19:08:09 · answer #4 · answered by ThatGuy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No you certainly are not. You are not paying this woman rent to be your mother. SHe probably wants borders because she wants someone to take care of. This is not an over reaction at all..its best if you move.
2006-12-11 12:58:38 · answer #5 · answered by jennyve25 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no just tell her you'll eat what and when and how much you choose to sometimes older people take control meaning no harm and not realize it just tell her you know her intention but your trying to eat a more well portioned diet
2006-12-10 19:03:43 · answer #6 · answered by Young and Wise 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, your are not over reacting. No one should force you to eat. I would consider moving.
2006-12-10 19:02:41 · answer #7 · answered by StormyC 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
She's the one with the problem. She needs to get a grip! Y is your landlady cookin' for you anyway?
2006-12-11 19:34:18 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get her a hearing aid. Stop showing up for meals.
2006-12-10 19:03:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
she's probably lonely and longs for someone to cook for.. it'd be nice of you to indulge her.. I'd say go ahead and eat it and then exercise really hard to burn off those extra calories..
2006-12-10 19:06:27 · answer #10 · answered by Byakuya 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋