every time my youngest gets her self caught in a lie or when she let her kids go it is all my fault. I did the best I could raising her taught her right from wrong yet she just told her oldest sister it was my fualt she let her kids go with her ex in laws. If i wouldnt have let them take them she would still have them. I begged cried and even got her a lawyer but its all my fault. I cant keep taking the blame for something i didnt have control over. the stress is going to kill me. my left arm starts to hurt and my jaw. I know its stress and just want to know how to tell her i am not at fault.
2006-12-10 10:00:27 · 10 answers · asked by furby_lost 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
does she only decide your at fault when she can't cope with her own blame anymore? you know that you did everything you could do for her and her children so you need to take a step back and let her accept the blame for the way things worked out. Its time for you to tell her to quit blaming you, tell her to look at the big picture and see who really is to blame if that don't work tell her you would rather not see her until she can see the whole picture. I am a mother also so I know that it isn't easy to turn your back on one of your children but when it is a choice between the child and your health your health should come first.
2006-12-10 10:07:24 · answer #1 · answered by siera_summer75 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why are you letting her control you? No one can make you take the blame. If its that stressful for you, you might have to cut her out of your life by keeping contact with her at a minimum. Just plain out tell her if she cant be postive around you that you dont want to hear anything she has to say. Then stick to it. Shes a bully plain and simple and you have the choice on either allowing this bully in your life or not.
2006-12-10 18:05:29 · answer #2 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some times kids crave attention in odd ways even meaness. Sounds like her issues are deep but their not your fault and don't let her blame you for every little thing that doesn't go her way. Tell her that she's he reason she lost her kids not you if she would of had her life together she would nevr lost them in the first place. She has a lot to settle within herself before you can expect her to apologize or settle her issues with you! hang in there she'll grow up eventually
2006-12-10 18:06:15 · answer #3 · answered by Lovin life 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your daughter has a hide trying to blame u for her f**k ups. Having kids comes responsibility. It is not your fault dont take it on board your only going to damage your health more.
2006-12-10 18:40:43 · answer #4 · answered by wildpalomino 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a younger sister just like that. It's not your problem...it's theirs. They want to be treated like adults but then they behave like children. Everything is everyone's fault but their own.
Don't let it stress you out. Stop trying to be so helpful and let her make a few decisions on her own. I know it will be hard when you know she is making a mistake...but let her make a few. She will eventually figure it out. Create a little distance. Enjoy your own life. Don't let her control your feelings.
2006-12-10 18:06:22 · answer #5 · answered by TTerrell 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The problem with society is that no one can take blame for what they do anymore.
You get raised badly by your parents... when you grow up... just blame them. (not saying that ur a bad parent, just example)
I'm not sure what you should do but you need to take it easy... go see a doctor... let her know your not well and that you can't handle it.
good luck
2006-12-10 18:04:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
lol @ myself. boy did I get this one wrong. after having a look at some of your questions I think I see now where she came up with the blame game. Looks to me like maybe she sets herself up for failure and then expects you to clean up the mess. Wonder where she got that from.
You seem to have a habit of incenuating what answer you want to get by the way you ask the question. Yeah she's miserable. And I don't know who necessarily but SOMEONE taught her how to live miserably and then use that misery for manipulation. I guess when/if you ever get tired of the misery you'll get yourself a counselor and work thru your own issues instead of getting her a lawyer to work thru hers.
Instead of trying to convince everyone else that she needs to wake up and smell the coffee, maybe you need to wake up and turn your coffee pot off because the coffee is way past burnt lady.
2006-12-10 18:07:11 · answer #7 · answered by Meatball ;) 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
First thing you need to do is go to a doctor and get checked out and tell him what is going on mentally and physically and ask for a referal to a counsellor in which i am sure he will be happy to oblidge once he has all the information....good luck
2006-12-10 18:06:15 · answer #8 · answered by blue_eyed_woman_of_3 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
sounds like she just cant accept the responsibility for her actions, tell her you love her, her actions are not your fault, you did the best you could and that you will not accept any more of the blame, it is not yours.... :o(
2006-12-10 18:03:53 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
your sister knows it's her fault she just doesn't want to admit it. don't stress yourself out because of that because she's trying to make you feel bad about yourself. you did your part, that's all that matters
2006-12-10 18:04:28 · answer #10 · answered by jdukenumber1 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋