If you are at a party and your host offers you food, which is more polite, to accept or decline?

Answer 1

Hi Abby,

Thanks for your question. And a complex question!

Here's what makes it complicated: the U.S. isn't made up of one singular culture with one uniform set of etiquette rules. In many sub-cultures (Indian, Asian, Greek, etc) it may be considered very rude if you decline what the host has prepared. For some, there is even a way of complimenting the meal that is required. Food is all about relationship for a lot of cultures, and declining it can sometimes equate to declining any relationship with the host!

However, for many parties you encounter in the U.S., especially if the food offered is not the entree, your host will not be offended if you kindly decline. If he or she presses you ("no, no, try this!"), you may smile and simply repeat yourself and move the conversation on - or - you can state a palatable reason ("they really look delicious, they make me regret that I'm allergic to shellfish!") for rejecting their offer.

It is rude, however, to be outright reject their food or to give a "righteous" answer to not accepting. I was once at a cocktail reception with a few Catholics and while everyone else was enjoying the meatballs, a woman loudly responded, "No. Thank you. I'm Catholic and we don't eat meat on Friday. It's not appropriate." What's not appropriate is shaming either the host or other party guests, no matter your reason for declining.

Keep the mood fun, let the host know you are grateful for their generosity, and know that the host will certainly invite you back - no matter what your decision.

Good luck!

Answer 2

By all means please accept her/his offer food, most hosts go to alot of trouble to make sure they serve great snacks etc. Just don't eat tons of the food take a small amount and be sure to say thank you and compliment on the food. It would seem rude not to accept an offer of food from your host, unless your allergic to something. But even then when your'e invited to a party/get together and you have an allergy be sure to advise them so they can prepare something for you. Everyone wants to be a good host/hostess and they really work hard at being creative and pleasing their guests, I know I do. And after the invite be sure to send a thank you note with some personal comments about how nice the evening was and how much you enjoyed it. It's also in good taste to bring some sort of gift for the host, a bottle of wine or flowers. Make an offer to help the host if it looks as if they need it, but if they say they have everything under control, leave it at that and enjoy what you have been offered and above all have a nice time.

Answer 3

Be very polite, and have some. A lot of people are offended, even more if you decline. They usually put a lot of time and or money into hosting a party. When I host a party, I enjoy offering friends something. If they don't except, I wonder why. So yes, accept and everybody will enjoy themselves.

Answer 4

It is more polite for the host to accept whatever decision is yours. The party is for you, the guest, not the host.

A host will be most gracious because she will understand for myriad of reasons why someone may eat or not eat.

Of course, she will be most pleased if the guest ate, after all the food was made for them and a lot of work is involved, believe you me.

So, with this understanding in mind, it might be good for you to do a little of both.

Answer 5

I don't think one is more polite. If you want the food, accept. If you don't want the food, decline. But I'm sure that your host will expect to give you food, so don't decline because you're worried that it will put the host out if he/she feeds you.

Answer 6

Eat. Even if you don't like what is offered, have a little taste. You don't want to insult the host/ess, because they went to the trouble of providing food in the first place. Just don't gorge.

Answer 7

if you do not like that kind of food then you have the right to say no thank you . thank you for offering.
if you are pressed to eat some of this food and you don't want to then again repeat no thank you .
that is the proper thing to do if a problem should arise from this then you can just relax you don't have to answer any questions from this person or anyone else regarding this matter.

Answer 8

It would be more polite to accept, unless you have a food allergy, or the food or drink being offered is against religious beliefs.

Answer 9

You know I was wondering the same thing. Someone once offered me a slice of cake at a party, and I declined with a simple "No Thank You", maybe later. and she gave me a dirty look. The next time she came around I took the dang on cake. I personally would'nt think its rude, as long as the person said "No Thank you". I actually thought it wa rude to gve me a dirty look. That was rude, and unhost lke:)

Answer 10

I think it's best if everybody brings something or nobody does (you provide it all). If the one guest is just offering out of courtesy, I would tell her she doesn't need to bring anything. If all the guests are bringing food, then give them a selection; A bring a dessert of some sort, B bring a side dish, C bring a salad, etc.