Clean, cute jokes?

Question

I need a cute joke I can tell my day-camp kids tomorrow.

Answer 1

Why did Iowa outlaw round bales of hay?

Because they wanted to make sure the cows were getting a square meal!

How do you make a kleenex dance?

Put a little boogie in it!

Why did the snail paint a big "S" on his new sportscar?

Because he wanted people to see it and say "Wow, look at that S-Car-Go!"

Answer 2

I love CLEAN jokes. So here we go:

What is the most musical part of the body?? Your nose cause you can pick AND blow it.

What did the Whopper name it's daughter?? Patty

A man walked down the road one night with a Cat strapped to his arm and a glass of water in his hand. Seeing this an officer stopped him and asked him why the Cat was tied to his arm. "Because my watch stopped" "Well, what is the cat for" The gentleman took the glass of water and poored it on the Kitty. MMMMEEEEERRRROOOOWWWW, the Cat screeched. Immediatly someone opened a window and screemed stop that it's 3:15 in the morning.

Answer 3

A Counselor saw a camper sitting alone. 'Why don't you play with your friends?' he asked.
'Because I only have one friend,' the girl replied. 'And I hate her.'
Camper: There's a leak over my bunk!
Counselor: Don't complain. It only leaks when it rains.
Camper: There's a leak over my bunk!
Counselor: Shh! Don't make such a fuss. Soon everyone will want one.
Camper: There's a leak over my bunk!
Counselor: That's what we said in the camp ads. Running water in every cabin!
Counselor: A camper just swallowed a bullet. What should I do?
Camp doctor: Don't point him at anyone.
Counselor: A camper just swallowed a pen. What should I do?
Camp Doctor: Use a pencil.
Counselor: A camper just swallowed a roll of film. What should I do?
Camp Doctor: Dont' worry. Nothing will develop.
Counselor: Eat your spinach. It's good for growing kids.
Monica: Who wants to grow kids?
Counselor: How many times did I tell you to make your bed?
Jane: I can't answer. I didn't know I was supposed to keep count!
Counselor: Jake, why did you put that snake in Annie's bed?
Jake: Because I couldn't find a frog!

Number 2:

Counselor: Swimming keeps you fit and trim.
Don: I guess you never saw a whale!
Counselor: This is a dogwood tree.
Ben: How do you know?
Counselor: By its bark.
Counselor: Wash your face. I can see what you had for breakfast.
Henry: If you're so smart, what did I have?
Counselor: Eggs.
Henry: Wrong. I had eggs yesterday!
Counselor: Who gave you that black eye?
Camper: No one gave it to me. I had to fight for it!
Counselor: Why are you sitting up in bed?
Ruth: There's a mosquito in the cabin.
Counselor: But it hasn't bitten you.
Ruth: I know, but it came so close I could hear its motor.
Counselor: Why did I catch you grabbing an extra cookie?
Laura: Because I didn't hear you coming.
'I can't find my dollar bill,' Jane sobbed.
'Don't worry,' her Counselor said. 'A dollar doesn't go very far today.'
Lee: I just swallowed a fish bone!
Counselor: Are you choking?
Lee: No, I'm serious!
Lunch was just over. Brian was about to jump into the lake.
'It's dangerous to swim on a full stomach,' warned his Counselor
'Dont' worry,' Brian said. 'I'll do the backstroke.'
My Counselor doesn't now anything about kids.
She makes me go to sleep when I'm wide awake. And then she wakes me up when I'm fast asleep!

Number 3:

One evening, a Counselor saw Max on his hands and knees. 'What are you doing?' she asked.
'I'm looking for my dollar bill,' Max replied. 'I lost it down the road.'
'Why don't you look for it there?'
'Because the light's better here!'
Sarah: I dropped my watch in the river. But it's still running.
Counselor: Really?
Sarah: Oh, yes. The river keeps running!
Sonny: I can't sleep. What should I do?
Counselor: Lie near the edge of the bed. That way you'll be sure to drop off!
The Counselor was greeting the new campers.
'So you decided to come to camp,' she said to one.
'Nope,' the camper answered. 'I was sent to camp!'
The Counselor was talking to the campers about safety.
She said 'Don't climb any trees. If you fall down and break a leg, don't come running to me!'
The head Counselor gathered all the campers together. To get their attention, the Counselor called out, 'Order! Order!'
In a flash someone shouted out, 'Hamburger, coke and fries!'
The next day the Counselor saw Stan pulling at his pockets.
'What happened?' she asked.
'I lost my dollar bill,' Stan said. 'And I've looked in every pocket except one.'
'Why don't you look there?'
'Because if it's not there I'll kill myself!'
Wanda: A fish just bit my toe.
Counselor: Which one.
Wanda: I don't know. All the fish look alike to me.

Answer 4

OMG! Are you guys that dense? That is the punch line. The 2 little trouble makers are sent to the clergy who starts yelling, "Where is God?" They think God is missing and they are being blamed. I think it's a cute one.

Answer 5

you can say why did the turkey cross the road

because the chicken was on vacation

or
why did the boy through the clock out the window
he wanted to see time fly

Answer 6

there is this family of tomato's and the mom tomato says to baby tomato, -honey go get some ketchup from the store- so little tomato boy goes to the store and crosses the street, but then a car runs him over, when the mommy hears she runs to her kid, mommy -what have they done to you sweetie?- boy -ketchup mommy ketchup.-


moral always look both ways before crossing the street, or you will be made ketchup.


y mum loved this one when i was like 6

Answer 7

Question: What do Winnie the Pooh and John the Baptist have in common?

Answer: Same middle name!

Answer 8

Two truck drivers are taking a load of penguins to the zoo. Ahead of them is a car accident, the road is backed up for miles, it's going to take them hours to get to the zoo...

The Driver turns to his partner and says" Look, to get the penquins to the Zoo ontime, get out of the truck, get them out of their containers, and walk them to the zoo..."

"Ok" says his partner.

After hours of being stuck in the traffic, the trucker finally manages to get his truck back to the garage...Soon afterwards, his partner returns, with the penguins.

"What are you doing? Didn't you take them to the Zoo?!?"

"Yeah, and they loved it. Tomorrow, we're going to the park and then a movie!"

Answer 9

What do you call the worms that dry up on the sidewalk after a rain? Bird bacon

Answer 10

what do you call people who are afraid of Santa?
"Claus-trophobic"