when i had a bf, i had met this other guy(guy B) and i realy started liking him, so i told my bf tht lets take a lil break so tht we can go and experience others..so thats what we did..so i started hanging out alot with this guy B and we got close(had sex even)..and i realy got attached to him..and i think he also likes me..cuz he wud keep callin me and said he wantd to go long term and even came all the way here to texas frm NY to spend time with me..but the problem is..behind my back hes chatting with hella girls and flirting wit them..and telling them the same stuf he wud tell me..and i really like this guy and even told my bf lets break ..just for him..and what hes doin..being flirty and all..is really realy making me Depresesd..im realy hurt..and SO VERY SAD..and on the other hand..my EX..to who i said lets go n experience other ppl .told me yesterday thta he gets attacted to outgoing ppl..and even likes someone now!
2006-12-10 09:44:28 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
im in sucha state of sadness and depressiion..and wats worse is that i dont even have any good friends that i can talk to about this :((( i am crying everyday..the guy that i realy like..that i left my bf for..is going behind my back and flirting with others..why wud he do this? and what shud i do about him? and mY ex...is actualy going out n liking others..of course I only told him that lets meet others..so why am i taking it sooo hard?? PLS TELL ME HOW TO HANDLE THIS!! and SHUd i let go of that biatch guy B the one whos being a cheat to me..even tho i like him so much??? and wat shud i do about my ex..shud i get back with him or wat???
2006-12-10 09:44:52 · update #1
You get in close with guys, learn you can't keep their interests and then get depressed when they leave/show interest in others... OK. Time to stop. This...what youre doing here... not working. You are not happy with this, so there's no point in continuing... Let's take a good look at some things here...
1) You broke up with a guy to date another guy. So, logically speaking, its ok for your current BF to break up with you to date another girl? I'm not saying its an evil sin to do this, I'm just saying, if you don't want it done to you, then you shouldn't do it to others, especially those you want to be close to/love.
2) You hung out, got closer and had sex with Guy B. Now, fundamentally speaking, sex is glue. You can match up two completely relationally incompatible people together, have them develop a sex life and they WON"T BREAK UP, until one or both get tired of living a lie. Sex is great in its own right, but it honestly only equates to intimacy if youre married to the guy, (because otherwise he's just doing it with you to feel good). Its a hard habit to break and I won't even begin to tell you how, but holding off on the physical stuff is absolutely necessary if you need to know first if you and him are going to be able to work things out.
3) Your guys are now looking at other girls. Whats that mean? It means beyond the sex, there's something missing there between you two that they are still apt to find. It might be that he only wanted a few thrills out of you and then wants to move on. Women can sometimes be "butterfly" junkies wanting always to be wooed by yet another dashing man, while men can be sex junkies which is pretty self-explanitory.
4) Relationships aren't always there to make you happy. They can test your sanity, your resolve and your view of what life is supposed to be on this little planet. However, they are not here to make you feel disrespected, used nor depressed. You might not accept all of what I say as truth, hon, but believe me when I say, this... this way of "getting a man" isn't working for you... for a reason... Its not because you aren't worth having... Its not because there are other women sexier than you in this world... Its not because men suck and are the root of all evil. Quite frankly, its because this way of dating where you get close physically to get your kicks in before you find out whether or not you are compatible JUST PLAIN DOESN"T WORK!!!!
You are living proof that it doesn't work and instead of something being an absolute blessing to you, it makes your life more complicated.... more painful. Its not supposed to be this hard, hon. Its time to pull in and just hang with the girls for a while I think. Be friends with the guys and wait for a man to come along who wants to get to know you for you before slipping into your bed covers. Make him wait a little and see if he's there for love or he's there for making love (followed by making a quick getaway).
Its your choice, whether you feel this pain or not.
2006-12-10 10:20:54 · answer #1 · answered by guardian707 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok this other guy seems to be not so nice and is not perhaps taking things to heart as you are. It appears he wants to have fun and see what else is out there... not really to committ. Try not to lose any sleep over it.. The more you hold on to this guy the harder it will be believe me!! Its hard to walk away but it will be harder and more hurtful for you to stick it out and see what happens... If your ex is seeing someone.. let him see what is out there.. perhaps he is just trying to find himself and see what he is really attracted to. i have found it.. that the more room you give a mate.. the more likely they are to come back to you.. if you keep on them,.. they know they got you right where they want you and then they will toy with you. Take a deep breath go hang out with friends or just go take in a movie or two.. dont keep at home waiting for this guy.. move on.. You will be alot better off in the end hon.. Keep your chin up.. if you need to talk more. i will be happy to lend a ear :)
2006-12-10 09:56:10 · answer #2 · answered by ~Raven~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your no longer cool adequate to try this, yet you ought to assert, celebrate toddler, smiling and waving with out tear on your eye. What the heck are you crying for? Your nevertheless alive and robust looking. he's no longer the final guy on the earth. He had an excellent time, yet so did you, that's why you sense undesirable. After he leaves, sense undesirable no longer previously. pass abode for an afternoon and have your cry and recover from it. in any different case he incredibly does win and has left, dare I say the cliche, yet another broken coronary heart... it is so previous, drained and off. human beings do no longer try this anymore different than contained in the movies. existence is in simple terms too short.
2016-10-05 03:30:15 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Shashi, I know its hard very hard to have to go through this but let me tell you at least you found out that this guy B likes to play games in re: to relationships to keep his options open. He is not a sincere guy and you truly do not need that in a relationship.
Sure the time you spent with guy B was wonderful and you have great memories however, you need to forget him. I tell you, I was dating this guy once who was too good to be true but there was somthing I sensed that showed he wasnt committing to me like he said he wanted to. Dont forget saying one thing and doing another two different things. Actions speak highter. Alright so I did a wrong thing but worked to my advantage, I checked his emails in re: to what he was saying to his friends about me and I found out that he was in love with this girl from his neighborhood growing up to came back into town. I would have never ever known and this is why although he said he loved me and talking the talk was truly in love with someone else. I was just someone he could have a good time.
Now when I tell you this its because, you at least found out what Mr. B is all about and truly better now than later. Of course you might revert back to Mr. A since you gave each other space but if he is for you and no matter who he dates if you are the one that he wants you guys will be together. You cannot just go back to Mr. A because Mr. B is not worth it . Love yourself and occupy your mind on other things, hobbies, new endeavors, challenges, group activities, church, pilates, yoga.. Do not let your life be consumed by those that do not deserve you. They dont know how to appreciate you than they are not for you.
I dont know if you pray to (which ever god) but do, pray for the exact kind of guy that you want in your life, even in details, tall short, funny considerate sincere. Thats how I got my husband and yes it took me several months of praying to get it but suddenly we met and it all clicked. It was meant to be.
You are a wonderful soul who needs love yes, and so please see yourself as a unique and loving individual who deserves the best so dont give up on yourself just give up these losers.
Of course Mr. A is still in his zone of liking others but it has nothing to do with you messing up and losing him. If he truly loves you he can be with Heidi Klum and not care, because his heart belongs to you. Only you.
Plus your young and your main goal now is to ensure your safety, happiness and future. You can make it something great so focus on you for now. Mr. Right not mr a or b will show up when you least expect it.
2006-12-10 10:13:26 · answer #4 · answered by Saena 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow that sux. you need to let go of the idea of boy b because he is obviously a skeez. as for ex boy, good luck with that but as you said he may have moved on. chalk it up to experience
2006-12-10 09:49:42 · answer #5 · answered by Carrie H 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
to begin with...........i think you left your boyfriend b/c of not getting enough love from him.... and here you are with this person that makes you feel good but can't be faithful...............well, i don't want to point my finger with the mistake you did when you left your guy for the other guy but (what goes around comes around) all you have to do is clear your mind stay busy and tell your self every thing will be fine... you better off with out him and ...see a therapy that will help you big time
2006-12-10 09:56:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he (guy b) sounds like a player. You can tell him how you feel and that you like him alot but you dont want him messing around and give him one chance and if you find out he is messing around then dump his a.s.s
or dumb him now and go back to the ex... it is a very hard situation
good luck
2006-12-10 09:50:40 · answer #7 · answered by heather_766 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your ex asks you back...ok. If not, you had your chance! Guy B sounds like a player---leave him alone. If I were your ex, I would not go back with you.
2006-12-10 09:49:06 · answer #8 · answered by CM 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you gave up A to have B who has C-Z....sounds like you wish you could go back in time and change what has become, to what could have been....now that the shoes are on, you dont got much choice but to walk in them
2006-12-10 09:51:42 · answer #9 · answered by do_sctc145 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you're really feeling bad, don't be ashamed to talk to a psyciatrist. they can get you a perscription for prosac/other SSRIs which will help your depression.
2006-12-10 09:50:38 · answer #10 · answered by will l 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋