Do other Moms feel this kind of stress?

Question

Are other moms as stressed as me? Sometimes I just want to give up! I know this is "Life" but come on now! My kids are always fighting - like cat and dog, the house seems like it's always a mess, no matter how long I clean it, then of course, there are meals to prepare, practices to take the kids too...then I am going to college now part time. My husband helps me with none of it, although I asked. AND...to make matters worse, I went to court the other day for a modification of child support for my son (i have two kids, one from a previoius relationship and another from this one) and all they could say is that I did not "work"? I WORK! The father of my son has NO kids and gets to do whatever the heck he wants. Why is it that us woman have to work - take care of the house, take care of the kids - be superwoman while the men can just sit on their butts? I'm sick of it! And very overhwelmed. I am working hard all the time.

Answer 1

I know where you're coming from! Maybe it's time for an intervention so to speak. Step back and just figure out what needs fixed and fix it. Start getting the kids AND hubby involved in chores so it's not all on you. Have them help with meals also. Work on getting the kids to play better together so they aren't fighting as much. I think kids tend to pick on each other more when everything else around them is stressful. Mom running around cleaning, trying to get other things done, running them to practices, etc. The stress isn't just on you, it can rub off on everyone a bit and I think when the stress goes down everyone will be happier and "Life" will be much easier on all of you.

Answer 2

Even though I come from a stable household, my mom had much of the same stress. She was an accomplished dental hygenist with great income, but when she had me, she decided to quit her job and allow my father to rake in all the income. Seeing as how I am the only surviving child out of three pregnancies, I can understand her decision. However, she still had to help my dad with the financial aspects of the family business in addition to parenting me. My father works 12 hour shifts, so he really doesn't help that much around the house. Keeping a business alive in California is extremely difficult, and she was often pulling all nighters. As a son, it is my duty to get a great job and allow those two a retirement where they have to do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. No working at Wal-Mart for my parents.

However, in your situation, I hate to see this kind of thing. Not enough value is put on the work of a good mother in the house. Money can't be put on it. I think the best thing you can do is when your son is old enough make him help with housework. Just make sure you reward him for it (not bribe, reward). It will develop a good work ethic, and take just a little of the load off your shoulders.

Answer 3

I think all mothers can relate with you. I have 4 children and some days I just want to throw my hands up and say I Quit!!! But If I did that then who would take care of them who would clean and cook and make sure everyone is where they need to be at the time they need to be there.
I know it is hard, but stick in there for your children. Good luck to you....And me also =) If you get to stessed out maybe you should think about talking to a counsler or someone in that field...because Ive heard stories of what stressed out mom can do and they are not pretty! So Just take a deep breath and keep on going...It will get better some day right.
God Bless

Answer 4

Yes, all mothers feel this stress to some extent. The important thing is to remember that it won't last forever, and to savor the good while you can.

It is never too early to teach your children to help around the house (okay, maybe newborns are a bit young...). I know when my husband is deployed that it feels like each of my kids is making two messes when I am cleaning one! Would I trade it for my friend who lost her son to brain cancer? No WAY!

Try to find something to be grateful for every day, it will change your perspective.

Hang in there, one day you'll have grandchildren to spoil!

Answer 5

You must require your hubby steps up to help you. He is not doing anything because he knows that you will... even if you complain about it you'll end up doing it (because someone has too).

You don't mention how old your chiildren are... but perhaps they could start doing chores (age appropriate stuff) like cleaning their rooms, helping to set the table at dinner time, helping to fold the laundry, etc.

It's give and take in a healthy relationship. Sometimes one will give more than the other at times... but it has to balance out. Your husband is obligated to help out his wife and family when he has time. He cannot use the excuse that he works... because as we all know... staying home with the kids and taking care of the home IS HARD work.

The way it works in my home is that hubby helps by doing the dishes after I cook... cooks dinners on his days off (or we order take out!)... and he helps pick up and do laundry, etc. on his days off.

You need to sit down with your husband and your kids... make a plan and stick to it. And remember... honey attracts more flies than vinegar. Tell them you love them and you want to be a happy wife and Mommy but you need help. And lay out, very clearly, what they are REQUIRED to do and WHEN in order to help you.

Best wishes. Being a Mommy/Wife is not an easy job... and you need help! Everyone does. June Cleaver doesn't exist... and if she does she's secretly on Meth and Prozac to cope! ha ha!

Answer 6

Yes its extremely stressful. I feel like a single parent of 3 boys right now and Im pregnant with our 4th. My husband works out of town and its very rough. Especially since I have had avery hard pregnancy this time around. I totally understand how you feel about the kids fighting, and the constant messes and no help. I am not working right now at themoment, but I still feel like I never ever get a break. When my husband gets home and he is home for a week, he does nothing but sit around and rest...When do I get to rest?? Never. I understand his job is hard, but its not easy doing what we do and we deserves breaks from the stress to. I agree.

Answer 7

All I can say is as long as u let your husband get away with not helping then u only can blame yourself. I know I had to demand help from mine.Then I would not do things for him until he did help.You can't do it all and u need to tell him that if he doesn't help u could either have a nervous break down or just give up and do nothing. For real it could happen.A person can only take so much. He needs to know that.Good luck

Answer 8

Bandage your foot get crutches, bandage your hand and sit back, only take these off when you go out. Do it for 2weeks and see what happens. They are using you time to be smart, get your own back. Let the issue of child support go it seems to be eating you up. You are not alone at all I would say 30% of mothers are in the same boat. If not more.

Answer 9

I'm with you girl. What works for me is getting away from the kids even if it's just for a few hours. I go on a walk or even run errands WITHOUT the kids. It works wonders as a recharger of your batteries.

Answer 10

i know exactly how you feel,im doing the same thing, only i also have 2 other kids to deal with who are not biologically mine,they are my full time steps, whom i love,but i agree time to tell hubby that he needs to help every dya even if its only for a few min..hang in there, it all will get better!!