i have a male friend, problem 1 im a 41 year old virgin and he is 34 not a virigin, hes in america at the min on hol and texts me regular, asked me out once then changed his mind i was hurt but at least we stayed friends, i miss him but he said he would go out but only if i give it to him !!!! i come from strict catholic family and was reared to stay a virgin till marriage i know things have changed now but im scared and nervous what should i do this is a guinine question so please no messers i would appreciate any advice thanks
2006-12-10 08:10:51 · 18 answers · asked by deanna 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i think u should stick to ur religion and not get spoiled from worldly things
2006-12-10 08:12:55 · answer #1 · answered by Ree Ree 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like the only thing he cares about is sex,Not to many virgins at 41 out there.stay with your beliefs and God will bless you for that,just because most of the people in the world have changed and are more free with their body's don't mean you have to give into that. I'm 47 I only wish i would have took to those values now that I accepted Jesus,It's to late to change what I did but I have been forgiven.If he really loves you he will understand and Waite.
2006-12-10 08:32:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
once youve had sex, its sort of required in all your relationships after. it doesnt mean he doesnt care, only that he has a need for sex in his relationships. i wouldnt date a virgin just for this reason either. so the question is, how much is he really into you that he wants you to give up your hard held belief for him? i dont fault him for it, but i would say that he shouldnt establish a relationship with you when you dont have what he needs, and you should stick to your guns. on the other hand youre 41 - your clock is ticking out fast. you live once, live fully. If you want him, go to him. God forgives, and gets it. ( amusing ly, the catholic predilection against premarital sex has nothing to do with gods word. you find me in the bible where it says you cant have sex before youre married. also, at the time the bible was written, marriage consisted of a father paying a ma some amount of money for the man to let the fathers daughter move in with him. study your religion and your bible more deeply dear, ask questions. what is the song of soloman except a poem about two young lovers making love every chance they get? God didnt tell you not to love and make love, in fact he commanded you to. the church told you that so that you would have to go through them to get married and therefore they exersize control over your inner life. The church is an institution of man, not the arbitor of God.)
2006-12-10 08:19:55 · answer #3 · answered by savgbst 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have been very frank in admitting you have a little problem.
A woman in your position in 2006 has to be a little careful and look out for herself.
A man and a woman should slowly get to know each other and then....whatever happens, happens. There should be no conditions made about "giving it to him" or indeed your vow to remain a virgin until marriage. Just lighten up a little bit, and if you really start being interested in and fond of each other, you might consider sleeping with him. Take it slow and easy, and no emotional blackmailing!
Good luck!
2006-12-10 08:24:06 · answer #4 · answered by simon2blues 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having sex with a virgin sucks anyways. At your age how can you even tell you are a virgin, that hymen is probably long gone with time. Keep your values, since you don't know much about sex and he does, he would most likely find you boring.
2006-12-10 08:23:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you know what he wants (its up to you but its not the best option)... but the religion has to stop you need to date other people, go out, and bend your religion a little bit ocasionally (maybe on a weekend after a club) you have to have fun. and PI i respect the catholic religion but havent you come to think that youre receiving counseling from old virgins that theyre not allowed to marry?? you dont want to be them
2006-12-10 08:19:44 · answer #6 · answered by e)v1n 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your friend is placing you in an impossible position, & is forcing you to choose between him & your beliefs. To my mind a true friend would not place anyone is that position.
You should stay true to your beliefs, because if your male friend loves you he will respect you for that.
If he doesn't, then I'm afraid to say he is not the friend you thought he was.
2006-12-10 08:18:55 · answer #7 · answered by Kingbee 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
stick with your values.at 41 why would you decide now to go against what you believe? yes things have changed,to many people now days just sleep with whom ever they want to even if they have no feelings for that person.don't waste your time on this idiot!!
2006-12-10 08:15:27 · answer #8 · answered by here to help 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
At 41 you have permission to give me your virginity. I will cherish it and you will learn and have fun besides.
2006-12-10 08:38:20 · answer #9 · answered by onelonevoice 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have kept your virginity all this time dont give it up to someone who is clearly just after sex.keep with your beliefs and save yourself 4 somebody special.
2006-12-10 11:43:02 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, he doesnt care if he did he wouldnt be asking you to go against your morals and religious upbringing, instead he would have respect for your decision to wait and not put any pressure on you about it...
2006-12-10 08:21:52 · answer #11 · answered by MidnightSkies 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋