Is this a good introduction for the attack on the twin towers??

Question

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The idea of a World Trade Center complex originated with Nelson and David Rockefeller in the 1950s as an attempt to brighten up lower Manhattan. As being the tallest buildings in the world for two years the towers were highly respected by the people in New York. On the morning of September 11, 2001, four American airliners were hijacked by nineteen men armed with box cutters and knives. Two airplanes were crashed into the World Trade Center..The attack on the towers was a shock to everyone across the world it was the most deadly and traumatic event of 9/11.

Please tell me what i need to fix and everything like that remember its due TOMMROW!!

Answer 1

My changes are in all caps I hope this helps and I think you have a very strong intro.

The idea of a World Trade Center complex originated with Nelson and David Rockefeller in the 1950s as an attempt to brighten up lower Manhattan. THE TWIN TOWERS WERE the tallest buildings in the world for two years AND were highly respected by the people in New York. On the morning of September 11, 2001, four American airliners were hijacked by nineteen men armed with box cutters and knives. Two airplanes were crashed into the World Trade Center, ONE INTO THE PENTAGON AND ONE WAS RETAKEN BY THE PASSENGERS AND CRASHED INTO A FIELD. The attack on the towers was a shock to everyone across the world AND was the most deadly and traumatic event ON US SOIL TO DATE.

Answer 2

The idea of a World Trade Center complex originated with Nelson and David Rockefeller in the 1950s as an attempt to brighten up lower Manhattan.

As being the tallest buildings in the world for two years(,) the towers were highly respected by the people in New York.


On the morning of September 11, 2001, four American airliners were hijacked by nineteen men armed with box cutters and knives.

Flight 93 was a United aircraft.This is just a suggestion but you should do some more research into 9/11. Box cutters are knives and that is redundant.

Two airplanes were crashed into the World Trade Center..The attack(s) on the towers (were) a shock to everyone across the world(.)

I put "attacks" because there were two towers and two airplanes, so that would in turn, make the word plural. I also had to cut your run-on sentence in half.

It was the most deadly and traumatic (terrorist attack on United States soil.)

Saying that "it was the most deadly and traumatic event of 9/11" is redundant. I feel your sentence would make more sense if you described why it was so deadly and traumatic.

Answer 3

Change to this
four American airliners were hijacked by nineteen Nazislamic Fascist terrorist armed with box cutters and knives. Two airplanes were crashed into the World Trade Center, One into Pentagon and one into a PA field
The attack on the towers was a shock to everyone across the world, and it was the beginning of the world's war on terrorism and Nazislamic fascist terrorist
should not of forgotten the Pentagon or PA shame on you

Answer 4

The second sentence needs a comma after the word "buildings". (You really should drop the word "As"" and start the sentence with "Being".) (Isn't that two periods after "Center"?) Finally, the last sentence is a deadly run-on. The word "it" begins a new sentence.

You better hope your teacher isn't a conspiracy theorist. They think the government did it on purpose, that it wasn't caused by airplanes but bombs, that there were never any Arabs with box cutters, and so on. Otherwise, your intro is fine with a few corrections.

Answer 5

dont forget unsuccessfull attacks were made before and clinton ignored the chance to catch the perpetrators in sudan.

Answer 6

it seems good an a+++ nice high level vocabulary