We live together for 6 months, and he is a very nice guy, but when he have a problem he start to drink, and then he will start to be very bad and have a go with me for nothing. He lies a lot, special to his parents, he say very lies andbad things about me to his parents. And now his parents don't even talk with me. He already spit on my face when I was a sleep and he put me out of the house 7 times. He already trie to kill himself twice.
What should I do ?
2006-12-10 06:37:00 · 26 answers · asked by Gaivota 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
so what you are saying is that your boyfriend is a alky and makes you feel guilty and threatens to kill himself if you leave him.do you want to be his little wifey he can manipulate or would you rather be an independant woman
2006-12-13 10:52:47 · answer #1 · answered by arfa54321 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all ,you need to look after yourself , your boyfriend has a problem, and he drinks because he thinks this will help him solve the problem, he need´s help, but he has to help himself first, if you are sure you can handle this problem with him and help him by speaking about is drinking , but if he continues to be bad and nasty to you then you should leave , until he seeks help for himself, He has already put his parents against you, what dose that tell you ,and him spitting at you isnot a very good sign ,time to get your own head together and find out what you want , a happy relationship with this person or would you rather wait till he dose something really bad that end´s up with you being put in hospital
2006-12-10 07:01:10 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry love but are you sure that depression is the problem and not the drink. This guy sounds very selfish to me and out and out lying isn't necessarily down to depression - that's just nastiness. Depression is a horrible illness - god knows I know that coz my husband has suffered severe depression for years but to spit in your face and throw you out ??? That is bullying and abuse - no other name for it. You say he tried to kill himself - I wonder if this was just attention seeking rather than serious attempts. If I were you love, I would bite the bullet - write a letter to his parents explaining what has been going on, the lies he's told and your concerns - then I would get the hell out of there and leave them to look after their son. Its the kindest thing you could you - for yourself and for him. If this goes further you will get hurt and he could end up in prison for assault or worse.. You're worth far more than this. Good luck xxx
2006-12-10 06:49:52 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i was going 2 say leave him straight away hes not worht it if hes treating u bad but if he has a depression proplem then try going to the doctors or a conselling session - he properly wont want 2 go and dont force him but if reli love him and dont want 2 leave him then its worth a try. Keep a spare key in your pocket at all times and make sure ther is a friends house u can go 2 if u get locked out. ther r lots o things u cn do with depression - iv been ther - people 2 talk 2 help - he might not wnat 2 tlk 2 u if the proplems concern u - get him 2 socialise and he might find someone to talk 2 - dnt wori aboiut his parents they will soon find out about it all remeber u love him not them
2006-12-10 06:42:14 · answer #4 · answered by Sophie B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take a break from each other. Don't call him for a few days. In a couple of days, when things have calmed down so you're not emotional, that's the time to talk about this with him. I kind of think he called you on purpose so you could hear him entreating the girl to flash him...just to aggravate you. Anyway, he sounds really immature. Best thing to do, is give one another space until you can talk together in a civilized manner without getting mad and upset.
2016-05-23 02:30:46 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mmmmmmmmmmm well I dunno what to say, for starters drinking causes depression so he is in a vicious circle, he needs to stop that ..........
I would give him an ultimatum, if he loves you he would try giving up drink and see if it helps with his moods.......
If he does not even try that, there is your answer, why should you take on all this shite after only being with him for 6 months if he isn't willing to try leaving drink alone, for a good 12 months to see if it helps his depression..
Honey life is far to short to have to deal with this, his doctor should section him if he is a danger to himself.....I know it would be hard to walk away, and I can imagine how you would feel if something happened to him ......But at the end of the day you have only been together 6 months seriously.......
Good luck xxx
2006-12-10 06:47:39 · answer #6 · answered by xXx Orange Breezer xXx 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
For your own well being, I suggest you leave! Until your boyfriend comes to terms with his drinking he will never beat the depression. I suggest you go and speak with your doctor and try and get him some professional help! If he loves you, he will do everything to change! He needs to learn that life is full of ups and downs, and being abusive towards someone because you are feeling low, is a cowards way out! Please seek help!!
2006-12-10 06:56:44 · answer #7 · answered by lynne 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry but I really think you need to get out of this relationship. I know that is easy for me to say and that I dodn't know your boyfriend. I don't say he is a bad person, but this is an impossible situation for you to deal with. Your boyfriend has to get help from someone else. Psychiatrist, psychologist, counseller...whoever.
The problem I foresee here is that you will become just as much a victim of his problems as he is. He will focus upon you and all the time he can make you unhappy he will be able to avoid getting help for himself.
If you love him you must pressure him to seek the help he needs and make it clear that it is a problem only he can fix. You must NOT be a victim of this too, you must be a rescuer...from a distance if neccessary.
Got your message earlier but your email addy wasn't accepted so my response wasn't delivered. Get out hun and deal with it from a distance. You will not help him by being a victim. If you want to help him make space for yourself to be a rescuer...don't trap yourself by being a victim.
2006-12-10 06:44:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It would appear from what you are describing, that your boyfriend has a Mental Health illness, possibly Clinical Depression. I would suggest that you persuade him to see his GP in the first instance and let him take it from there.
Alcohol in itself is a depressant, again he should seek help from his GP.
I am of the opinion, that for the sake of your own health and well being, you should leave him and let his parents control the situation.
No one should suffer abuse, be it physical or mental.
2006-12-10 07:03:13 · answer #9 · answered by firebright 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to say... Dump the guy. He seems to have support of loved ones and doesn't want to get his life together. All I see is years of heart ache for you.
You can only take things so far. So one time he spits in your face... What is to say the next time it won't be physical violence.
The guy sounds wacked out to me. Try to move on before it is to late. His parents gave up, I would to before it is to late.
2006-12-10 06:42:42 · answer #10 · answered by acidcrap 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋