How can a child make up it's own mind?

Question

My sister-in-law has decided that she will not baptise her son because she wants him to make up his own mind about what religion to follow. She says that she does not believe in God, god or gods. But,..... (typical) she puts up a Christams tree, buys presents, Easter Bunny comes to her house, loves Valentines Day (named after a saint), St Patricks day.... I feel that she is not teaching her son about religion, just commercialism. She does not feel comfortable when I read my children "A Christmas Story" because it is about the birth of Jesus. I want to include her son, my nephew, with the up bringing of my children and the values I'm trying to give them, but I do not know what to do. How can he choose if he is not educated.

I'm not saying my religion is the one for him. And I also teach my children about Hanukkah, Festival of Lights, Kwanzaa, and Ramadan (education brings acceptance)

Answer 1

I am happy to hear that you educate your children in a variety of religions, but from my point of view (perhaps I'm wrong, I'm not getting the full story anyway), it does seem to me that you are a little biased. I can't say I can blame you, though. It is difficult not to be - everyone is to some extend. Pardon me; I'm rambling.

*ahem*

Perhaps your sister feels that she does not want to expose her son to any religious ideas before a certain age. She may have the same idea as you (to expose him to many different religious ideas, that is), but does not want to start him out "too young" in her opinion. It's not a completely foolish idea. I would believe that all too many children would probably be confused by religion until they're older. All religions have conflicting ideas with others, and to try and teach young children that they are all valid surely must be very confusing - and perhaps frustrating - for them.

Remember: you can teach children moral and ethical behavior without using religion to do so. In fact, I think the two concepts should be separated once and for all. I would not want my children following a certain religion ONLY because of the morals it dictates, and likewise I would not want my children acting a certain way ONLY because their religion tells them to do so. They should understand what is right and wrong because of practical and directly relatable consequences - not just religious affiliations.

Personally, I will not intentionally expose my children (when I have them) to any religion. I will still celebrate my holidays, but any religious practice I perform on those days will be done in private. However, I will not attempt to shelter my children from outside information - much (some people are just rude and pushy). When my children ask me, "Hey - how come you never told me about Jesus?" or, "Can you tell me anything about Vishnu?", or "Do you believe in the Flying Spaghetti Monster?", then I will take that as a cue that my children are ready to learn about different religions, and I will teach them as much as I can about as many as I can. Until then, I will let them worry about kid things. Religion is much too stressful a subject for children to involve themselves in, I think.

Answer 2

That's the moms choice. She speaks in actions and you should respect your sister first.

A child can make up their own mind when they know enough information.

Answer 3

First, I wasn't "born into" any faith; Christianity in simple terms befell to be the single that made the main experience. I made my selection w/o earnings of a few "parental" impact. it style of feels to me that the implicit assumption in maximum of those styles of questions is that it incredibly is finally incorrect for individuals to introduce their little ones to the determine's concept/faith. to those that mean this I say- suggestions your guy or woman rattling business enterprise; i will carry my little ones up the way I see in good shape. As on your familiar question, back- I embody the assumption of relatives values and custom. the two one among my sons believe in God because of the fact they certainly comprehend that one and all the different so-spoke of as "gods" of the international's different "religions" inherently belong contained in the mythology section at e book shops and libraries everywhere. in the event that they became out to become atheists inspite of each little thing, why might they be a humiliation to me? i'm their father and might nevertheless love them regardless.

Answer 4

A very good question. Most people now a days don't teach their children about religion. They just expect them to decide on their own. And at the same time as you mentioned they have their celebrations, but I beleive it's more of culture then religion. That's how they were brought up, celebrating christmas, valentine's, eater, etc., and they want their kids to have fun some times of the year.
I really like the way you teach your children about all religions and you understand that education brings acceptance and will help themselves and others in the future!

Answer 5

Well commercialism is what runs America...its just part of our culture...Religion and Culture are two different things. If you sister doesn't want to baptize him then she doesn't have to. She is right to let him decide, Who knows maybe he will become Mormon or Hindu or something else for that matter. The best thing to do is not to force religion on a child because its not free will if they can't decide for themselves. Luckily I realize after a I had already become a minister that Christianity was wrong, But it took a while to realize because I wasn't given a choice when I was young.

Answer 6

Well, first off christmas trees, valentine's and the easter bunny have nothing to do with religion. As you stated Christmas is about the birth of Jesus. Unfortunately, you can not choose to give your nephew these values unless his parents allow it. What does your brother (his father) have to say about it. I would approach them and ask their permission to include him.

Answer 7

I have a friend that did that. At first I resented it thinking "there's no way that kid's getting a fair picture of God". But then I realized...that's the way it needs to be. If there's a god (or gods) they can make themselves know to the kid if they feel it's necessary. Until then, we are people, we need celebration - it's in us, let it out. As to the commercialism, eh, who really cares? The message of commercialism is simply that you can ascribe a dollar value to any relation you want - or not. You like somebody? thinking of *them* when you see the tchachki? buy it. Buying a lot of stuff might just mean you think of them a lot or it might mean you're trying to buy their love. Who knows and who needs to know?

Bottom line, I believe religion is an adult sport - like drinking. I personally don't like brainwashing kids for the simple reason that that's all it can be.

And as for ecumenicalism - I'm sure you 'feel' very tolerant and I'm sure tolerance is a good lesson for the kids but it's just not all that important to HOST a party for every tradtion out there. You got friends that do a big Festivus gig every year? great, bring egg nog.

Answer 8

learning is life and life does not happen in the moment for some. children will determine their choices in do time as they begin to understand the significance of the issue or situation. being exposed to difference is a step that leads to more steps. a person will decide on their own to acknowledge that to which they have been shown. you can be a part of it or not, that is your choice.

Answer 9

You don't want her influencing her own child, but you want to? That is basically what you are saying. I feel the same way your sister in law does. I do all the same things she does as far as Christmas trees, Easter bunny, etc. Those things are about tradition to me, and probably her as well, I don't see what any of them have to do with your point. Maybe, you should raise your children and let her raise hers. It is not necessary that he choose a religion right now, and he may never, but that doesn't mean he can't be a productive well meaning member of society.

Answer 10

If your sister-in-law honestly wants her son to make up his own mind about God/religion, she shouldn't have a problem with your reading him "A Christmas Story". He should be allowed to hear the story, as a way to gain information that will ultimately allow him to decide how he views God and religion. I agree - how will he choose if he doesn't have information on which to base his choice?

As his aunt, I think your attempt at overriding the issue here would be wrong. You may not agree with the values your sister-in-law is teaching your nephew, but that doesn't mean you have the right to "step in" and try to make things "right", as you see them.

It's a tough issue. In time though, especially as your nephew matures, he will be able to decide for himself.

Lilith - you are so totally off the mark here.

Answer 11

Well personally ,I believe in spirituality,not any religion I feel The devine is inside us all and we can communicate with that inner source.It also resides out side because consciousness is too big to be just in the human body alone.As the child grows ,he should be able to make up there own mind