Teen Girl, I think my daughter no longer a virgin.?

Question

How do I get my teen daugther to understand that she isn't a leader but a follower and her friends are leadng her down the wrong road?

I have to add I think she lost her girlhood this year at a boys birthday party which the boys parents think my my little girl is a hoe and that sh** hurts. I spoil her crazy and I do try to be understanding but she rebels against her mother. Moms, whats up tell a concern Father how to handle this issue.

One last thing should I have a doctor check and see if she lost her verginity.

Answer 1

Last question first Dad...No, that will only make the situation worse for the two of you.

I am a Mom, with 2 girls. The teen years were hard but you'll live through it, trust me both of you will. I was never my girls friend..they had plenty of friends, I was their mother and role-model. If I said I liked their hair, they purposely went and combed it differently, if the clothes they were wearing was inappropriate and I voiced it, they happily went out of the house with smiles on their faces. Child sociology does not work either, tried that, by reversing my way of thinking to get them to do as I really wanted, like agreeing on their choice of make-up and shoes, for some reason I think the strained tone of voice I used told them my true feelings and then it just made matters worse when I did say anything.

All you can do as a parent is warn them, trust them, cation them and a little thing called "TOUGH LOVE". If they insist on going someplace you know there is going to be trouble or is not appropriate for them say NO! stick to it and don't give in because they make you feel like a meany...because in the morning you won't have to worry if she is no longer a virgin or worse. Don't threaten to check on her...DO IT! It's your little girl, not her friends or boyfriends way of looking at her you are concerned about. I didn't fight my girls nor did I over-look some of what went on...if I said I was going to call, I did. If I said no, they didn't go. I went by my gut instinct in raising my girls not because ALL the kids parents let them as I was told.

Answer 2

A doctor won't be able to tell you if she lost her virginity, unless she's pregnant.

There is no exam that can be done to see - most people think a doctor can tell you if the hymen is broken, but it's almost impossible to tell by looking at it, and even if it has been broken, it could be from anything ranging from tampons to simply stretching hard before an activity. (That, and some girls just don't have one, or it never breaks, like me.)

The best you can do is try to educate her on the potential consequences of irresponsible sex, such as STDs, pregnancy, etc.

Sadly, it may be a bit too late to instill self-confidence and individuality in her, if you haven't managed to successfully raise her that way by the time she hits teen years. Trying to change her from being a 'follower' into a 'leader' may not work, though maybe she didn't have sex just because people she knows did?..

Talk to her, but be understanding, not critical. That's the best you can do at this point.

Answer 3

First of all I am not a mother but I am a young woman and one who has lots to tell... Do not take her to the doctor- to see if she lost anything! There goes the trust between you two... Explain pregnancy, HIV and all other STDs- take her to see if she's caught anything! As a father be there for her show her she doesn't need some little boy to fufill any of her needs. Spend time with her, talk to her, have a movie night, dinner date, anything- and make her realize Daddy will supply all my wants and/or needs... What do I need from You? Tell her respect is everything- if people say she's a hoe it doesn't mean she's a hoe, so she doesn't have to act like a hoe- mistakes are made so that they'll never be made again!

Answer 4

Stop spoiling her and start being a father. Stop trying to be her friend and tell her how it will be. Don't let her go to parties without adult supervision. Control who she sees, which friends she goes out with. If she rebels and starts running away, have her declared incorrigible by the courts then let them handle her. Eventually she will see you are trying to do your best and she needs to listen.

As far as seeing the doctor, now days it may not do a lot. Tampons can cause the skin the doctor would look for to already by broken but that doesn't prove she is not a virgin.

Answer 5

Im not a mother but i can tell you that if you take your daughter to check on her virginity then she will never forgive you
You have to realize that your baby is growing up and if you don't support good sexual behavior she will be a slut
take her to the side and try to have a comfortable conversation with her about it
offer to take her in to get birth control even if that is not what you want to do
that will break the ice, and for being an adult I don't think you should give a **** about what this boys parents think
he was just as guilty

Answer 6

As a daughter it is hard to tell parents about these things. I know you want your daughter to be safe and not have her life go down hill. my parents were the same way with me. Talk to your daughter about these things. Make sure she knows what could happen to her if she does have sex and it goes wrong. About the boys parents calling your daughter a hoe. No parent should call another parent kids names. It takes two people to have sex. I'm 19 now and my parents still make sure i know everything and have idea what can happen to me. My mom wanted to get me check out when i heard that i just told her the truth. Talk to your daughter first be easy with her but be strong at the same time. I know that kids/teens don't like to be told what to do, and when they get told to do something some times they do the wrong thing. i hope this helps little

Answer 7

you should definatley have her checked by a doctor. She probably needs to go for yearly exams now to be sure she didnt contact any diseases from sleeping with someone. as far as her telling you anything she's probably not going to do that. she will lie her way out of it. been there done that. I would keep a close eye on her know where she's at all the time and who she is with. you need to also get her on birth control. You cant be with her 24/7 she will lie to you sneak out say shes' staying with a friend and really be going to sleep around with boys. so you really need to get her on birth control unless you want grandkids so soon. the only thing you can do is just talk to her about diseases and teen pregnancy. but yes take her to the doctor.

Answer 8

How old is she? Why is she going to parties were there are boys? If you don't know what she is doing than that means you are not in you life enough! You have to watch your children very closely. Do you remember when they were toddlers and you had to watch them very closely to not put stuff off the ground in their mouth or to fall off the couch. Well it still goes like that as they grow up. You have to be concerned of the moves and decisions they make in their life. Talk to her about womanhood. Get her involved in activities. BE THE ADULT! Uusally teenage girls go looking for that companionship a father is suppose to give through other boys.

Answer 9

Tampons and hair dye shouldn't additionally be interior the comparable question! heavily woman! i'm sorry yet that's no longer even a question, that's in basic terms you babbling on and on! You lose your virginity once you have intercourse, you do no longer lose your virginity because of fact of a tampon! the way your conversing, your making it sound like the father and mom are telling their 12-13 year olds to have intercourse! A tampon is a tampon and intercourse is intercourse, for crying out loud. This annoys the hell outta me. Please in basic terms bypass and carry your individual baby and end attempting to push your opinion directly to different individuals. Cus' actual i do no longer think of every physique right here truly cares, to me your virginity is lost once you have intercourse no longer because of fact of a tampon, horse back using or bike using. and that i think of father and mom might desire to tell their daughters of the magnitude of virginity and saving it for the only they love yet as for tampons i do no longer think of it relatively is significant in any respect. And if a guy does not believe a woman sufficient to believe she's a virgin (because of fact of a broken hymen), then actual he does not supply a **** approximately her. good adult men believe their female, believe that they does not deceive them. If a woman says she broke her hymen from a tampon then her boyfriend might desire to believe what she says and believe that she's nevertheless a virgin. And if the girl lies approximately it, nicely that yet another tale. That has no longer something to do with this question ^^

Answer 10

If she has lost her virginity then what? Now you need to be sure that she has the tools to make good decisions. Her sexuality and having sex is something that needs to be discussed, not left up for a chance conversation. It is silly for parents to want kids to make responsible decisions and they aren't sitting down to have open, honest conversations with the kids.

Not everyone can be a leader, some people are followers. The key is teaching your child to make her own decisions or if she must follow then make sure she's following the right people.