How do I get a better relationship with my mother?

Question

I've tried everything for my mother and I to build a better relationship. It's to the point now where I've given up. My mother has said hurtful things to me for years and expects us to be the best of friends now -- some things I just can't forgive or forget. I get along fine with EVERYONE else except her :: I've ran out of things to do :: I could really care less anymore :: But I'd like to know what you all think :: REAL ANSWERS PLEASE~!

Thanks!!

Happy Holidays to Everyone!

Answer 1

the real awnser may not be the one you want to hear,but the truth is that you may never get along with her.
the most you can hope for is to at least be able to be in her company without wanting to kill each other.
people will say tell her how you feel but by the sound of it will not work.
so my suggestion is to just bite your tounge,say nothing,because at the end of the day it will not make a blind bit of diffrence even if you do.
but why keep in touch you might say
because she is still your mum and at one point in the past it was her who looked after you,so now for the time being its you who has to "do the time" so to say
its not about forgiving or forgetting its about seeing that some people are cruel and hurtful in this world ,the sadiest thing is that they are hurting themselfs more than hurtin you.
so id let it all go and just get on with life,life is crap most of the time but every now and then however brief there are really amazing special moments that make all the crap worth while

maybe it was one of those moments for your mum when you were born.

Answer 2

If you have honestly done all you can do, then get over the guilt. My mother (and father) have done nothing but criticize and try to run my life for years. Eventually, you have to get to a point where you don't care anymore. Tell your mother how you feel and WHY. If she can't respect that and give you some space, then tell her what you want and how it will be. Push the guilt you will feel to the back of your mind and do not let it bother you. After all, it is your mothers hurtful ways that has caused the rift to begin with. I live in the same area as my mom and I don't talk to her even once a month because I refuse to deal with the way she is, always criticizing and always telling me what I do wrong, never what I do right.

Answer 3

Let your mother know that it will take time for you to learn to trust her because of all the emotional abuse that took place in the past. Be civil to her, but you certainly don't have to consider her as a best friend!

Answer 4

Sometimes mentally illness (such as depression) runs in families. Perhaps you and your mother should get physicals and see if there is a chemical imbalance that is making you both act/feel as you are.

If you cut yourself, you would go to the doctor and get stitches, your problem is no different, you can't handle it yourself, you need professional help.

Answer 5

Maybe you should show her this question, and see what happens.I think lack of communication is the root of most relationship problems.
Best of luck to you.

Answer 6

Shower her with kindness and remember we all need to be forgiven....She is the only mother you will ever have, imagine that she is gone and how you would feel and then maybe you can see it differently. :o)