Jokes any1???

Question

Put some jokes here (no boring ones)

Answer 1

A North Dakotan and a South Dakotan were skydiving. The Ndakotan jumped first his shoot would just not open. Frantically he pulled his reserve with no help from it. As he was falling to a quick and sudden death the South Dakotan came up beside him and said "Oh, so you wanna race do you..."

Answer 2

Ok, the grandfather and grandson are in the kitchen and the granfather is cooking and the grandfather hands the grandson a plate of food and the grandson eats it and notice some food still stuck to the plate and he tells his grandfather...Grandad my plate is dirty and he says thats as clean as clod water can get it so then the next morning the same thing happens and he says grandad my plate is dirty and he replys I told you that as clean as cold water can get it and a dog comes in and the grand son ask who is that THATS COLD WATER

Answer 3

HEHE, THERE'S A PRETTY FUNNY ONE i CAN THiNK OF.....


OKAY.. THERE'S THIS DRUMMER OF THiS BAND, AND HE GOT iN A CAR ACCiDENT, AND HAD TO APPUTATE HIS LEFT ARM, (sounds like the Def Leppard story,right?)... WELLLLL, MONTHS LATER, HIS BAND WAS ABOOUT TO GET THE TiME OF THEiR LiFE, THEY WERE GOING TO PLAY WiTH THE ROLLiNG STONES, BUT THEY HAD TP BREAK THE NEWS, THEIR DRUMMER WAS OUT, HE HAD NO LEFT ARM...
BY THiS TiME. THE DRUMMER WAS SICK OF LiFE, AND DECIDED TO COMMiT SUiCiDE. hE WAS GOiNG TO JUMP OFF THE EMPiER STATE BUiLDiNG, AND FROM A DiSTANCE, HE SAW A MAN WITH NO ARMS.. HE WAS DANCiNG???! "WHY WOULD A MAN SO HOPLESS DANCE AROUND, AND BE HAPPY?", THE DRUMMER THOUGHT...
WELL, THE DRUMMER FELT iNSPIRED BY THE NO ARMED MAN, AND DECiDED NOT TO JUMP.
WHEN HE MADE IT DOWNSTAiRS, HE SPOKE TO THE ARMLESS MAN. HE THANKED HiM FOR SAViNG THE MAN'S LiFE, AND SAiD THAT HE WAS AN iNSPiRATION. AND WHEN THE ARMLESS MAN SPOKE BACK, HE SAID "WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? MY ASSS WAS iTCHiNG?!"

YEAH, IT WAS REEEEEEALLY LONG, BUT FUNNY.....

Answer 4

two hungry beggars were crossing the street when they saw maggots crawling over some cold rotten food on the street...since they were so hungry they wanted to eat it but there was only enough for one...the first beggar then told the second beggar to eat first seeing how desperate he is...shortly after the second beggar hungrily ate the maggots and rotten food up, he started to feel nausea and threw up on the floor...thats when the other beggar clapped excitedly and cheered,"YEAHHH WARM FOOD AT LAST!!!!"

Answer 5

ok so there are four girls. The first one rosebud comes up and says, "daddy why am i named rosebud? " "because when you were a baby, we dropped a rosebud on your head.". Then lily comes up and says "Daddy why am i named lily?" "because when your were little we dropped a lily on your head." Then marigold comes up and says, "Daddy why am i named marigold?" "because when you were little we dropped a marigold on your head." Then the last one goes, "AHIHINSRINFWORN!". and the father says, "Anvil, go back into the basement."

well its much funnier if you hear it...

Answer 6

get a life
nobodycares!